AIBU to have said this? (will/inheritance related)

[Toblernone]

(Have not been kept up by this, up anyway thanks to stomach bug!)

DParents visited a couple of days ago and were talking about redoing their will, as some bits are out of date and they want me to be executor so were asking my opinion. Size of estate will potentially (unless they need care) be decent but not huge (eg, definitely under IHT level) but would be a fairly life changing sum to me and DB. DB has chosen not to have kids and I have one teenage DD. No extended family apart from spouses.

DP's in passing asked my opinion on how to split the inheritance, suggesting either 2 ways between me and DB or 3 ways including my DD. I stressed it was up to them but that I felt it would be penalising DB for not having kids and would be best as 50-50. Since been told that was wrong by a close family friend as DD should have had input into what I suggested and I'd somehow 'done her over' by perhaps depriving her of money one day. I politely said it was my choice what opinion to give but was she at all right, especially as DD was in the room for this discussion and got no say in it or did I say the right thing?

So if you'd had 3 kids then according to your friend your brother would only have got 20pc!? She is nosey and judgemental! My gran split it equally between her kids but my mum asked for hers to be given directly to me and my sibling as didn't feel like she needed it and would make much more of a difference to us (we were in the process of buying a house). I'd be annoyed at friend sticking her oar in!

My dad was much bigger earner, he married stepmum when me + 2 stepsis were all adults.
Me+2 step sis will each inherit 1/3 (supposedly, I actually expect step-mum to spend it all on her DDs & bio-grandchild so nothing will be left for me).
I have 4 of the 5 grandchildren (no more will arrive).
It doesn't feel very fair to me... but I don't think there is a fair to be found.
Watching what happened to many estates of relatives - I have never seen "fair" truly happen. I agree with this, too:

"its your money, you should do as you choose"

My grandparents all chose to leave small amounts to each of their grandchildren. That was nice, because now I have things I bought with that money which I specifically associate with them (nice jewellery etc.) I'd suggest that your parents might do that for your DD if they want. Could be a small percentage (like 2%) or a fixed sum. That gives them a chance to show that they remembered her. But I wouldn't recommend an equal three-way split. That seems very unfair on your brother. It's then up to you what to do with your half. You could choose to give some to your daughter then, if you want.

Why did you resurrect a 10 month old thread? They have probably redone the will now

My mum chose to split her (relatively small ) estate six ways. So equal shares between me, my daughter, my sister, my brother in law and their two children. Some might say that I got the rough end of the deal. In my mind, what she did seemed fair. But most importantly, Mum did what she thought was fair.

Mind you, she also gave all six of us a pretty big slice of her estate each before she died. Her only request as that we all spent it on something particular, and not let it sit in our accounts.

Thanks Mum, for the fabulous Tanzania and platinum ring xx

When my G'dad died in 1990 he left a couple of £K to all of his grandchildren (only for when they turned 18) and double that to his 3 children. The rest went to my Nan. Her estate and business was then split equally between her three children when she passed some 22yrs later. My uncle passed shortly after my Nan (raging alcoholic) and my Mum and Aunt now have 50/50. My Mum's estate (if any - we want her to spend it all on herself!) will be split between me and my siblings. My Aunt's will go to her sole heir.