AIBU to have said this? (will/inheritance related)

[Toblernone]

(Have not been kept up by this, up anyway thanks to stomach bug!)

DParents visited a couple of days ago and were talking about redoing their will, as some bits are out of date and they want me to be executor so were asking my opinion. Size of estate will potentially (unless they need care) be decent but not huge (eg, definitely under IHT level) but would be a fairly life changing sum to me and DB. DB has chosen not to have kids and I have one teenage DD. No extended family apart from spouses.

DP's in passing asked my opinion on how to split the inheritance, suggesting either 2 ways between me and DB or 3 ways including my DD. I stressed it was up to them but that I felt it would be penalising DB for not having kids and would be best as 50-50. Since been told that was wrong by a close family friend as DD should have had input into what I suggested and I'd somehow 'done her over' by perhaps depriving her of money one day. I politely said it was my choice what opinion to give but was she at all right, especially as DD was in the room for this discussion and got no say in it or did I say the right thing?

50-50 split. Anything else is unfair.

The only possible fair way to split this would be 50% each to you and your brother. That's my opinion. If other people think differently that's up to them.

If you want any money to end up with a grandchild, leave it straight to them. Then equal split of the remainder between your children, unless there's some sort of mitigating circumstance.

I think equally shared between children is the only fair way. Having said that, it's their money to do as they wish.

Your DD inherits from you. Why not suggest a particular item - ring/ornament that would be a personal gift to her instead?

50:50 or 50 to brother, 30 to u and 20 to dd

Never assume that children will leave something to their own children. They can fall out with their children, or remarry and leave all to a new spouse. If a GP wants to leave a specific GC something, even just a sentimental item, it needs to be written down in the will.

Our GM had always promised my sister and I a sentimental item each of hers. She died in my aunt’s house. None of us saw any of her possessions and we assume everything was kept by aunt and our cousins.

First of all, it is not now, or will it ever be, your ‘DDs money’. And in all fairness, it’s not yours or your brothers either. And although you can offer any opinion you want, the final say goes to your parents, your friend who said something to you should’ve kept her gob shut and her nose out of your parent’s affairs.

50/50 for sure. It doesn't matter if you are a millionaire and your DB on the breadline, it has to be split equally.
My GM gave my cousin her engagement ring before she died as she was the only granddaughter not to have one of her own. Months after GM died, said cousin promptly got engaged and a big fancy ring from her fiancée. All fine, but it demonstrates how things can change quickly.

Agree with 50:50.... but that said don't underestimate the importance to a DD of being included in the will..... whether with a piece of furniture or memento or £10,000 or just something which shows they were being thought about as an individual....

BUT would you share your half with your DD? if so then fair but if she ends up living on her own at 20 or something and getting nothing whilst you and him get 50/50 then i think unfair, I think you and DD should get 25/25 and DB get 50

BUT would you share your half with your DD? Yes, but when we pop our own clogs, as it should be.

I think that 50/50 is fair. Your DP's leave your their money, you leave your DC your money, that is generally how it works, unless you are talking huge sums of money that family are able to spread around more, or are in strange situation. (from a farming family, so 50/50 never happens as would destroy the farm).

If they wanted to leave your DD some money for uni or something, then they could leave her a specific bequest, and you could discuss this with your brother to see what he thinks about it.

As a general suggestion for anyone writing a Will is to be very careful about who/what is nominated as beneficiary of the 'disaster' clause (what happens if everyone named in the Will has died).

A lot of people nominate charities. However, quite a few charities use legal teams who have no qualms about claiming that living beneficiaries should be excluded because a clause in the Will was badly written so the disaster clause should be invoked.

Just this scenario has occurred in relation to a Will which someone I know is executor for.

Yes, but when we pop our own clogs, as it should be.

Indeed. Unless you die leaving everything to your spouse. Who then remarries, and by the time they die, it all gets left to their new husband/wife and you're relying on their good will to distribute the estate fairly upon their death.

If you want anything to go to any specific person, will it to them yourself.

My Dmil left 5 % per grandchild (4, 2 each son))
A set sum for her dils ( she was lovely) and the rest divided between her 2 sons.

My DM left 5k each to her 4 DGC and rest divided between 3 of us , one of which is childless.

Unless you die leaving everything to your spouse I agree, different matter if spouse isn't grandchild's mother/father.

50/50. I am the only one amongst my siblings who has a child but we each made our own choices freely.

My dad died 30 odd years ago and mum, of course, was sole beneficiary. She died a few years ago and so everything was supposed to be divided equally between the 3 of us; then my younger bro died, and my other bro and I inherited everything of his (including his share of the parental inheritance which hadn't even been to probate yet). In the end, I on to my share of mum's but handed everything else to my remaining brother for reasons I can't be bothered to go into. He's drunk the lot in 5 years, and allowing him to have done that is something I shall just have to live with. I thought dd would end up with everything, but he's buggered that up!

(I think I'm hoping he reads this.)

50/50 is the right thing to do.

My grandparents & now parents have split their estates so a proportion goes to the children. So between my sister & I we get 40% each & the remainder is split amongst our children. She has none at the moment & I have two but she was in agreement that it would give them a lump sum at a time when they were likely to be in more need of it than us.

My Mum had 5 children. When she died she left money equally between 5 children. 4 of the children agreed to give £1000 to each of their children. Their were 17 grandchildren and 13 of them got £1000 each and 4 none. I wish Mum had left dgc who she loved dearly £1000 each then split rest between 5 children.

You can have put into you Will that if your child dies before you, their share goes straight to the grandchildren and not the spouse of the child that died.

50/50. I have a (step) sibling with no DC, they are getting the same share as me (with 2 DC).

My parents are splitting 50/50 between me and DB. I have 2 kids, he has none and won't be having any. I am fine with this.

Thanks for all the replies, glad I didn't say anything out of order (I did tell DP's it was totally their choice but they asked my opinion). Interesting stuff to think about though re inheritance if siblings die first etc and trusts/gifts, will bear in mind.