Calendar snoopers! & why I think Nosey Fuckers are worse than Cheeky Fuckers

[Feinfine]

We've had the 'card readers' - those nosey sods who come to your house and read through personal messages in your greetings cards - but there is a new breed in town...The Calendar Snoopers! (CS)

Our calendar is full of the usual family bits and bobs of appointments and birthdays but as we're going through ivf (and have been for years) we have lots of private appointments on there too.

The CS came round for a coffee and started openly flicking through the calendar on my kitchen wall saying "oh you've got lots booked up for this year already, let me have a look what you're up to" and started to have a good read!

I said "it's just work shifts and birthdays" and quickly tried to shove a hastily made coffee in her hand and shoo her away.

AIBU but I just wouldn't read through someone's calendar to see their appointments? There's only myself and DH so never had to worry about anyone else seeing what we've written on it and it never occurred to me that a visitor would flick through the pages and look.

I have to write down what meds to take and when as I will forget otherwise and I've written it fairly subtly but I was still a bit

Bibi

FeinFine my face is still like that emoji whenever I think about it. Then question myself as to whether I made it up :)

Both the then partner and friend thought I was being unreasonable to be upset about having your love messages critiqued in that way.

Needless to say, neither are in my life anymore :)

Fannyfelcher
Pleeeeease tell me you confronted her about snooping in your house????

This thread is an eye-opener. My mum is terrible for this sort of behaviour; she likes a good read of anything lying around, and thinks nothing of rummaging through my garden shed of all places. She also likes to take a good nosey over the garden fence to see what our neighbours are growing in their gardens, and then give me a critique of what she saw. Luckily I love her lots, but honestly!

After having over 20 years of nannies/nurses/carers working in my home I am very careful about writing things in code on calendars and making sure that any paperwork that I don't want seen by others is carefully locked away in a filing cabinet with the keys well hidden.

I don't have any friends who are nosey enough to peruse my calendar and ask questions and I have spent nearly 30 years trying to get DH to look at the bloody thing and write on it!

I have spent nearly 30 years trying to get DH to look at the bloody thing and write on it!

Brilliant and so true! Why is it there are lots of NFs reading our calendars but not our other halves!

Everyone in my family does this with cards, I thought it was normal, rude not to in fact. They are on display, and to some extent so are calendars I guess. I would not put something I wanted to keep private on a calendar hung on the wall!

"I would not put something I wanted to keep private on a calendar hung on the wall!"

Exactly.
Just as you wouldn't put something confidential on a postcard.

My calendar isn't 'on display' for others to see though. Why do visitors need to look when my appointments are?

I don't actually display cards for others either, they're for myself and DH.

I was assumed to be a nosey person just today; I'm a support worker and went to a new client. I spotted their dog in the next room but the client's mother told me off for looking at her kitchen. I didn't even realise the kitchen was through the doorway from that room.

I have a slight nosey streak in me, but I definitely wasn't sizing up the state of her kitchen (of anything I have no ground to stand on as my kitchen is a mess).

Can't believe the nosiness of some people! What's the point?

"I don't actually display cards for others either, they're for myself and DH."

If they're on display, they're on display.
Are the photos on the wall also only for those who live in the house???

Our calender is pinned up inside one of our kitchen cabinets. Not so easy for people to have a snoop in there.

My mother in law is a calendar snooper. I make up fake baby sitters (as in Mary babysitting 7pm) so it looks like we are going out and not asking her. She doesn’t actually want to babysit all the time but it pisses her off that we are clearly going out and not asking her first! I am so passive aggressive it is bloody worth it though even though we haven’t actually been out for months

My mum. And she looks at our post esp bills and cc statements but

My Step Father has form. While him and DM were babysitting he took out of the envelope and read my credit card statement that was in a pile of post. Also a couple of months ago I was helping my Mum find a just giving page so logged into my Facebook on her computer to find the link, stupidity forgot to logout. A few days later DM phones me concerned about some messages SF had read from 2011 lesson learned.

I have mine inside kitchen cupboard not that there's anything interesting on it,I do have one person who has opened my post before now

Family invited us for lunch and we’re upset when i said we couldn’t go as I had something on, they said yes they knew (because they looked at the calendar!) but it didnt start until 6:30pm so it would be fine... i explained that it started at 6:30am and was lasting all day (which it was).

Yikes Mouikey that is what I want to avoid grey rock communication with mother knowledge is power as they say, even if you personally aren't the direct source :/
Cards to and from my husband stay upstairs in our bedroom now as they are just too personal full of nonsense to have out when MIL reads them!

This really wouldn’t bother me at all, reading over my shoulder however is another story entirely 😡

i use my sisters scales but theyre out in the batnroom is that rude?

The reading cards thing is something I do but then, when I was growing up, we used to open cards on our birthdays and pass them round for the rest of the family to read. This is something that DH and I do with our family, even though my eldest DC is now 22. I would never look through their documents or anything unless they chose to show me. Certainly wouldn't go into another person's home & check their calendars/paperwork.

Gabs - if scales are out then people will use them. Isn't that obvious. You'd need a 'don't use sign' otherwise. It's clear that people think they can use them just like they can use the sink and the toilet.
And why would it matter if people use them anyway?

Mil used to do this with cards. I'm NC now but dh isn't. One year dhs relatives gave Mil cards for one of our DCs birthdays. She kept them down there until dh and the dc went down a few days after the event.. I knew the only reason was so she could read them. Made me chuckle

Ooh we had a calendar snooper who invited herself to something on my calendar. And by 'invited herself' I mean she just showed up my mum also snoops and once asked 'what is DH at the doctors for next week' she got a very cat's bum mouth when I said he's going for a penile reduction.

Feel like randomly putting 'fuck off nosey twat' on some of the dates. That'll learn them

Thats weird and rude, i cant believe so many have an issue with people reading cards and calanders
Makes me glad my calander is on my phone