Calendar snoopers! & why I think Nosey Fuckers are worse than Cheeky Fuckers

[Feinfine]

We've had the 'card readers' - those nosey sods who come to your house and read through personal messages in your greetings cards - but there is a new breed in town...The Calendar Snoopers! (CS)

Our calendar is full of the usual family bits and bobs of appointments and birthdays but as we're going through ivf (and have been for years) we have lots of private appointments on there too.

The CS came round for a coffee and started openly flicking through the calendar on my kitchen wall saying "oh you've got lots booked up for this year already, let me have a look what you're up to" and started to have a good read!

I said "it's just work shifts and birthdays" and quickly tried to shove a hastily made coffee in her hand and shoo her away.

AIBU but I just wouldn't read through someone's calendar to see their appointments? There's only myself and DH so never had to worry about anyone else seeing what we've written on it and it never occurred to me that a visitor would flick through the pages and look.

I have to write down what meds to take and when as I will forget otherwise and I've written it fairly subtly but I was still a bit

Some of these are really shocking but slightly funny!

I don't mind NF to be honest, they can read whatever they want of mine - I'm really quite boring! I told everyone who would listen about our IVF so they knew anyway.

My mother reads my greetings cards which always amuses me since they all say pretty much the same thing!

I could easily imagine myself doing the scroll with the phone at photos, I do not think I have but it would just be instinct for my thumb to swipe before the brain engaged.

I love sitting having a cuppa at my besties and looking through her wall calendar. It has a pen attached so I will also write things in that she has forgotten because she is a bugger for double booking stuff.

I will also admit to sneaking a peek at the in-laws calendar and making a mental note to suggest get togethers when I know they're already busy.

I love sitting having a cuppa at my besties and looking through her wall calendar.

Oooo you nosey devil alpha! You're a proper calendar snooper!

I tend to read Christmas cards, but only at my mums house and she does the same at mine. I’d probably be pissed off if other people did it. MIL and FIL occasionally babysit and have a good snoop through our calendar, cupboards, financial documents and anything else they can find while we’re out of the house. I’ve purposefully left sex toys on top of my bedroom drawers and got some very funny looks when we returned - even though they had no bloody reason to be anywhere near our bedroom (which had a closed door).

I’ve also had my Dad stay with me previously, when under the spare bed was all manner of junk. One morning he came out of the spare room holding a photo (of me and my brother when we were kids) that was in a locked suitcase underneath a lot of crap under the bed and asked “Where did you get this photo?”. I took it off him and said “Where did you fucking get it?!” He looked sheepish but still rummages through the whole house when he’s here.

My MIL does this. I’m not so fussed about calendars, but hate the fact she picks up our opened mail and has a look through it. Likes a nosy through our girl’s medical stuff too. She’s always asking about my doctors appointments. It’s none of her bloody business. She does the thing with cards too, asking all about who they are from. 😡

"I honestly think some people aren't taught this is wrong."

The first time I heard the idea that you shouldn't read cards that were out on display was on MN. As far as I can remember, everyone I know does it so I think maybe there's a class aspect as well or maybe we're more comfortable with being curious in Wales. For me, if something is out on display it means it's fine to look at it. The person who had their planner on the wall can't complain at all. It is slightly different if you open a closed calendar.

It is nosey but I think if it is in view, you have to assume guests will read it. I keep private things in draws or write in code. I'd draw the line at flicking through the pages.

Oh my gosh I am this person
I never knew this was so annoying. I always just assume if the calendar is on the fridge it isn't private! Always looking through birthday cards that are up too. Only really go to very close friends/family houses so hoping they think I'm just interested in their lives and not invading their privacy Gonna ask my sister now if she thinks I'm really rude.

OP you are not being unreasonable but have taught me that I am when I visit other people!!

Oooo you nosey devil alpha! You're a proper calendar snooper!

Haha, well the bestie is sat right there with me and would tell me not to be such a nosey fucker if that's what she thought. The in-laws would be upset that I use their calendar to avoid seeing them while appearing to be a lovely d-in-law who often invites them out, but it's a tactic that's worked for years and they won't find out. Happy to let them believe it's their busy-ness that prevents more frequent get togethers, rather than my twattishness!

I love calendar snooping, but if I saw anything that looked private or sensitive I would immediately stop. I also only look at the displayed page (i.e. that week / month), I would never turn over or peek at other pages. I know I'm still an NF, though...

Alpha!! I’m shocked! (And slightly impressed at your subtifuge!

My Mum does this sneakily, well she thinks she's being sneaky but I can see what she's doing. She noses at whatever is put on the magnet board, mortgage statements, council tax bills, hospital appointments. The amusing thing is she doesn't mention what she's seen so I like to put red herrings up a like leaflet for marriage counselling

Alpha!! I’m shocked! (And slightly impressed at your subtifuge!

It sounds worse than it is (I think!!)

Alpha peeks at calendar and sees in laws are away end of month
Alpha: Hey MIL, been aaaages, fancy a family day out at end of month? Can do Sat or Sun as we've no plans aaaalll weekend, totally free and available to spend some quality time with you.
MIL: Oh yes that sounds lovely thanks for asking, I'll just check the calendar. Oh no, can't do that date, we're away.... again!!
Alpha: What a shame but LOL hope I'm as busy as you when I'm retired, we barely see you these days!! Maybe next month then.

I have to admit I thought looking a cards when they where out on display was an acceptable thing to do.

This is my Grandmother's fault, as she always insisted on me looking at all her cards when she received them and telling me funny stories about the person who sent them. I used to love it.

I have only ever gone card snooping at the homes of persons I considered family (wouldn't dream of doing it elsewhere, not sure why!) but it may explain the odd looks I have gotten in the past from my MIL and SIL x 2...........maybe I should ask next time!
Can't believe I have just found out I am a NF...............

It would never occur to me to snoop in any other way though, I am totally flabbergasted that people do this. If anyone snooped in my bedside cabinet I probably would almost certainly get some very, very funny looks.

My mum does this with birthday/christmas cards. She doesn't ask, I just walk back in the room to find her with her reading glasses on looking through the cards. Then she will ask "Didn't Irene send you a birthday card this year?"

Oh my. I do this too. If there's a calendar on the fridge or wall, I'll have a glance (although I wouldn't turn pages, tbf). Might have a glance at a card if it's on the mantlepiece too. Note to self: Stop.

*were not where..... FFS

Oh yes, NFs think nothing of snooping around. One of my visitors always comments on the cup our toothbrushes are in (which is kept in the bathroom cabinet that they have no reason to open) and comments if it needs a clean!

I have to make sure everything's in tip top condition before they visit for fear of being called a dirty cow! Damn you DH and you're frothy toothpaste ways!

Hausfrau

So shocked at your Dad going into a locked suitcase! Blimey, that's the expert level of NF!

My mil read our Valentine's Day cards to each other once.

I was surprised fil looked through our cards. But wasn't bothered because there were no very personal messages. No one else would be bothered because it's so very boring. I assume anyone may glance at our calendar but I wouldn't put anything personal on it except in code.

I really don’t mind my adult dc doing this (calendar not mail) and I do it when I’m babysitting if the calendar is on the wall. It helps me plan my time. So if dd’s calendar says ‘dinner at xx’ then I know I will probably be asked to babysit and keep it clear.
I also write my engagements on her calendar so she knows I’m not available. So ‘No Mum’ or ‘Mum hosp’. However I’m not that bothered about others’ business and I only ask very close friends if I can look at their cards.

My ExH always makes a beeline for the calendar in my kitchen so I now fill it up with other men's names, times, dinner/cinema etc.

I had a friend who read other people's cards.

Found this out when I discovered she'd added her own comments to a lovey dovey message in a valentines card it'd given to my then partner.

In red pen no less.

Still annoyed and baffled by that one.