Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think hotels and restaurant meals are not suitable for DC?

238 replies

FirstTimeLucky · 04/01/2018 21:12

Me, DH and our two DC, aged 5 and 3, are being forced to stay in a hotel for two nights with MIL, FIL and SIL for FIL’s milestone birthday. We are staying in a family room which MIL has booked. I have no desire to take all the chaos of Home and put us all in one room. On top of this, they have booked a 6.30pm meal for us all in the hotel restaurant. AIBU to think this is totally unsuitable for a 5 and 3 year old?? And then what will we do? Sit in the dark in our family room while they go to sleep? We’ve never stayed in a hotel with DC before. Added to this, neither DC are great sleepers and so will inevitably be difficult to get to sleep and up early. AIBU to really not want to go, or should we just suck it up for FIL’s bday?

OP posts:
Thehogfather · 04/01/2018 22:23

Christ, I never really understood why some people go on about how tying it is to have dc. It's hardly surprising people think they're tied down if a normal dinner time in a restaurant and an overnight stay is considered unsuitable.

Notso · 04/01/2018 22:23

I'm a hotel hater and even I can manage a couple of nights with the kids, and 6:30 dinner is hardly outrageous. A lot of kids don't get picked up from childcare until 6:30.

It's not great sitting in the bathroom or in the dark on your phone while they're sleeping but you make the best of it.

Llangollen · 04/01/2018 22:23

What's wrong with diner at 6:30? I genuinely don't get it. It sounds like your IL have been very thoughtful and booked at children times rather than adults time.

After diner, go for a wander with the kids, then put them to bed. Get yourself a bottle of wine or 2, put some candles and chill with your husband.

I wouldn't stay in one room for a holiday, but for a couple of nights, what's the problem?

marymoosmum · 04/01/2018 22:24

We actually have to go to a hotel for a couple of nights with a 1 year old and a 4 year old for a friend's wedding.

Elizanotlittle · 04/01/2018 22:28

Why are people sitting in the dark in the bathroom?

Madness

humansnowman · 04/01/2018 22:29

DC love staying in hotels- and to be quite frank so do I.

Its all laid on for you, no need to worry about doing housework/loading dishwasher e.t.c.

Plus DH and I usually tag-team. I go up first with the youngest, put him in bed and then text dh when its time for the oldest to come up for bed. Mainly because putting them to be at the same time is a baaaaaaaaaaaaad idea.

Then DH gets to sit in the bar and I sit in the room with 2 sleeping kids, a pair of earphones, a laptop and several TV shows to work my way through. Bliss really.

FWIW the youngest (4) usually has a 6pmish bedtime because he can be a ratty little shite when tired but if somethings on thats going to keep him entertained then he can stretch it out till 7.30ish.

Llangollen · 04/01/2018 22:30

Why are people sitting in the dark in the bathroom?

I am curious too Grin

bedtimestories · 04/01/2018 22:31

I was apprehensive about staying in a hotel with my kids and didn't do it till they were 7 and 4, wish I'd done it sooner, they went to be a little later, we just fb/redit until they were asleep. It was fine, so tired from days activities. I always make sure they have separate beds to go to sleep in

OuchLegoHurts · 04/01/2018 22:33

No matter how hard I try,I just can't see a problem here! This is what people with kids do in order to go away places...do you never go away with your children???

theabysswithin · 04/01/2018 22:33

I cannot for the life of me see what's wrong with this scenario. And for one night.

OP you clearly don't want to go: unless there's an agenda here which you're not talking about I think you really need to unwind a bit. You can't impose routine on everything in life...

PrimalLass · 04/01/2018 22:37

do you never go away with your children

I honestly didn't for a long time because one night's disruption could mess up my kids' for months. I preferred to stay home and stay sane. It's not that hard to understand, surely?

PrimalLass · 04/01/2018 22:37

*kids' sleep

PrimalLass · 04/01/2018 22:39

Plus everyone saying one night - RTFOP. It is for two nights.

Cabininthewoods69 · 04/01/2018 22:39

You sound ungrateful and selfish.

SurvivalOfTheUnfittest · 04/01/2018 22:42

I get the impression you are a parent who has a routine and sticks to it rigidly. I used to be exactly the same when mine were small until DH collapsed and died, when the dc were just 5 and 3, and suddenly, at that point, everything had to be a bit more flexible in order to make life manageable for the three of us in a time of chaos. With this experience, I now wish I had been more flexible when DH was alive. I do think children thrive on routine, but a little flexibility has certainly done my two no harm and perhaps quite a lot of good. I have many friends who still won't be at all flexible and I would just say try it once in a while. However, I get the impression that you just don't want to go to this event and that is another feeling I understand. In this case, I think it would be a case of getting on with it. In a hotel room, I do turn the lights off when the dc are going to sleep but I then turn the small light and TV back on. It works for me and I have the lightest sleepers in the world!

Llangollen · 04/01/2018 22:44

I don't know why people in Britain are so strict on routine and putting the kids to bed in the afternoon. Things seem to work just as well, if not better, when the kids stay up a bit later, and are more involved with parents evening activities from time to time.

FrancisCrawford · 04/01/2018 22:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DailyMaileatmyshit · 04/01/2018 22:47

I'd do it for one night.

In fact we did it for DFIL significant birthday. Was absolute hell (and I'd actually had positive expectations). Tiny cramped hotel room, a terrible sleeper, cranky at witching hour and really anxious with all the new people coming up to him. He also isn't entertained easily by crayons, quiet table top toys or anything that isn't running and shouting. And he won't watch TV, tablet etc. We ended up all in a small double bed, didn't sleep from 2am (went to bed at 1am). Such total nightmare. But it was one night.

Suck it up.

LovingLola · 04/01/2018 22:52

Have your children never eaten in a restaurant?

GlitterGlue · 04/01/2018 22:55

If you've never done it, you can't possibly know how it will go.

Fortunately I have dc who loves a night in a hotel, but even if it's not great it's one night. My top tip would be take breakfast snacks and drinks in case they wake up hours before breakfast starts. Snacks in bed watching CBeebies whilst you doze - what's not to like?

APlaceAtTheBSDTable · 04/01/2018 22:57

We've taken DS to restaurants and hotels since he was tiny and it's never been a problem.When he was a baby, I'd take his travel cot, blanket and favourite cuddly toy so it felt like home.
Depending on the hotel, family rooms can have lots of space and even separate sleeping areas for the DCs.
I think your dislike of your PILs is influencing your response tbh.

Thehogfather · 04/01/2018 22:58

But that's exactly what I don't understand primal. Unless there's a backstory/ special circumstances I don't understand why it would be disruptive, don't people just do this type of thing from the start? I can't imagine planning every single day around being home for nap time, or meals at fixed times, or needing to be at home for bed.

Pippa12 · 04/01/2018 22:59

I reckon you've got the jist... YABU Grin

Jassmells · 04/01/2018 23:00

Don't sit in the dark in bathroom - take wine in and drink in there!

dustarr73 · 04/01/2018 23:02

My kids love a night away in a go.Most hotels have swimming pools, bring the kids there.They love the breakfasts and the novelty of I.

I don't sit in the dark though.

Swipe left for the next trending thread