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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think hotels and restaurant meals are not suitable for DC?

238 replies

FirstTimeLucky · 04/01/2018 21:12

Me, DH and our two DC, aged 5 and 3, are being forced to stay in a hotel for two nights with MIL, FIL and SIL for FIL’s milestone birthday. We are staying in a family room which MIL has booked. I have no desire to take all the chaos of Home and put us all in one room. On top of this, they have booked a 6.30pm meal for us all in the hotel restaurant. AIBU to think this is totally unsuitable for a 5 and 3 year old?? And then what will we do? Sit in the dark in our family room while they go to sleep? We’ve never stayed in a hotel with DC before. Added to this, neither DC are great sleepers and so will inevitably be difficult to get to sleep and up early. AIBU to really not want to go, or should we just suck it up for FIL’s bday?

OP posts:
Daddystepdaddy · 04/01/2018 21:56

This really shouldn't be a problem. I've stayed in a hotel with a 6 month old and a 2 year old and dw on more than one occasion and it was fine.

You are obviously looking for validation about the fact you just don't want to go (sounds like you don't like your MIL tbh).

PeapodBurgundy · 04/01/2018 21:57

We've been away to hotels with DS (22months) twice now, and have trips planned in May and June. The first was only for one night, the second was for 2. We had a double room, and took a Ready Bed. We booked a deluxe room as there were bigger, so there was room for the small selection of toys we took, and the pram.
We ate breakfast in the hotel, then either ate out or brought take away to the room on the evenings. We settled DS on his ready bed in the alcove when he was tired, then dimmed the lights and had the TV on low for the rest of the evening. We had a wonderful time on both occasions.
That being said, these were both trips we wanted to go on, and we'd planned things we knew (as far as you ever can) that we'd all enjoy, so the more inconvenient parts (such as travelling on public transport with all of our belongings) were a worth while price to pay for the pleasure we all got from the trip. If you're not keen on the idea of going away, the less convenient parts are going to take over completely, and you won't enjoy it.

Could you plan something the following dayafter checkout just your little family to make a little holiday of it yourselves? Perhaps as well contact the restaurant in advance to check their provision for the children so you can arrange booster seats etc if they don't provide them (it depends if it's one of the posher ones, or a family friendly place where they typically may not on an evening).

horatioisabrick · 04/01/2018 22:02

I don't really see the problem, tbh....

Would you go on a holiday with DC?

scoobydooagain · 04/01/2018 22:03

My ds loves hotel breaks, I now book one for the two of us a couple of times a year just for a treat for him.

HermioneAndMsJones · 04/01/2018 22:05

The thing about letting the child staying up late is always the same.
Some children will be happy to do so and will wake up later. Others will stay up but still wake up at their normal time. And then will be a nightmare the day after.
And then some children will be happy to fall asleep with the tv on mute and thenat low level. Others won’t entertain to fall asleep unless it’s pitch back and then yes you end up in the dark at 8.30pm.

So basically there isn’t a ‘oh I can’t see the problem I just did x and y and the dcs coped fine’. Nor is there a ‘its Impossible to do. Just say that you are staying at home instead’.

It will be up to the op to know if her dcs can cope with a later evening. But if she has never done that before, she will struggle to know which way this will go....
Plus it’s always hard to let go of a routine that is working well tbh.

KenAdams · 04/01/2018 22:07

Seriously? Do you never stay overnight anywhere with your kids? How boring for them! DD loves a hotel, it's a little adventure/holiday for her. The hotels usually make a fuss of her and give her little presents too.

lonelymelissa · 04/01/2018 22:07

This thread has made me want to go on a short break!! Think we (ourselves, grandson, foster children) will book a Premier Travel Inn somewhere for a couple of nights during half term. They all love sleeping in one room and staying up late to eat. Thanks, OP xx

HermioneAndMsJones · 04/01/2018 22:08

horatio fwiw when the dcs were little, we went away in hols but never in a hotel.
We stayed with some family, booked a hol cottage, went camping. But no we never stayed at a hotel because my two would have struggled a lot with that arrangement.
Dc1 would have been up at 6.30am regardless of the time he had gone to bed (being there, done that) he would have woken dc2 up in the process.
Dc2 would never have fallen asleep with some light in the room, even dimmed, let alone a tv.

It just wouldnt have works for us.

UnalliterativeGeorge · 04/01/2018 22:09

We stayed in a hotel with then 2 year old DS. He went to bed an hour later than normal, had two hours sleep and then would not go back to sleep till 5am for another hour. It was fucking horrendous.

Now we don’t stay anywhere unless he can have a separate room like he does at home Grin Airbnb is our friend!

ChoudeBruxelles · 04/01/2018 22:09

Why is it unsuitable? Children are allowed to eat out

Runningoutofusernames · 04/01/2018 22:11

Seriously? It's a big day for your in laws, they've done a nice thing by booking a family room and an early meal, and if you let it, this will be a big treat for your DC and fine for you. Give them a big afternoon tea, make sure you have a computer/tablet loaded with some good films for them and maybe some for you (or Kindle books, easy to read if you really truly need the lights off), and try to go to sleep soon after the kids so you can get some rest (or even better if the family can take them out for a bit during the day and get a break). It can be fun, even with crappy sleepers!

cheminotte · 04/01/2018 22:11

You know best what your kids are used to and how well they cope with a change in routine. 6.30 would have been too late for my dc at that age as they were used to tea at 5 / 5.30 at latest and bed at 7. We tried eating later and it was always terrible as they were overtired. A 6.30 booking means food won’t arrive until closer to 7 by the time food has been chosen etc.
Would a lunchtime meal be an alternative if the timing is your main concern?

GreyMorning · 04/01/2018 22:12

I have a quite spirited 3 year old who has been out for countless restaurant meals in his time. Worse case scenario he plays on the tablet with no volume. He has quite often done three courses when out with us. Hotels if we have to take him we book a suite so we have enough space and if possible a sitting room.

BellyBean · 04/01/2018 22:13

Can you cancel and get an air bnb whole house?

Sunbeam18 · 04/01/2018 22:15

Huh? What's the issue? And why would you and your husband both have to be in the room with the kids when they go to bed? That only requires one adult surely, and you can take it in turns to be downstairs drinking and chatting with the rest of the family.

Alisvolatpropiis · 04/01/2018 22:15

From the information you’ve given - you sound unreasonable.

crazychemist · 04/01/2018 22:15

I suspect the meal will be fine - hotels generally have a very wide menu and are good at catering for kids. Especially as it is a hotel with family rooms.

I assume it's the going to bed early part that is a problem for you? I have to admit I stayed at a hotel in one room when my DD was 5 months old and it was a bit miserable, my DH and I were huddled in the tiny bathroom from 8pm onawards! However, we've had some lovely hotel visits for weddings since my DD has turned 1. I give her a late nap so she's ok to stay up til about 10pm. I go to bed when she does, my husband sneaks in later then he gets up with her in the morning so I can have a lie in and a nice bath. She does get a bit tired because of the change in routine, but nothing drastic and she just has a really long nap the day we get back.

Is it the case that you don't really want to see your in laws so any disruption seems magnified and not worth it? If so, can you get out of it politely?

peppapigwouldmakelovelyrashers · 04/01/2018 22:16

You are not being forced to stay in a hotel. Hmm

God. the amount of wet blankets posting on here about parents or in laws making them do this that or the other, grow a bloody spine.

And hotels and restaurants are perfectly suitable for children, when done properly.

Jassmells · 04/01/2018 22:16

Give them a snack at 5 then the dinner at 6.30, if they don't eat it they don't eat it not the end of the world. What time do they go to bed? I'm pretty rigid on routine but have always taken mine away and let them stay up if it's a special occasion, at 3 and 5 they should be able to cope? Having said that last week my 3 year old was falling asleep at 8pm so we all went back to family room, lights off in the dark and she turned into a party animal 😬only lasted 45 mins. To be honest I was glad of the early night! One of you could always stay down with the others and take it in turns?

Misty9 · 04/01/2018 22:17

Staying all in one room is our idea of hell, and dc tend to be in bed by 6.30....but, it’s a one off and a special birthday so, yes, suck it up and try to enjoy :)

PrimalLass · 04/01/2018 22:19

TBH I never liked it at that age, as they woke so early and it was hard to amuse them etc., at 5.30am without waking the whole hotel.

eurochick · 04/01/2018 22:19

We've stayed in several hotels with our three year old. A suite is better if you can get it - it means you have space for your evening once they are in bed. But for a couple of nights a room would be fine. A 6:30 dinner would be on the late side for mine. I'd have snacks ready to get her through if she started getting hangry.

Stella60 · 04/01/2018 22:20

Sounds like fun, have a great time and stop worrying

WorraLiberty · 04/01/2018 22:21

It's different but it sounds like fun.

Lighten up OP and you might enjoy it.

marymoosmum · 04/01/2018 22:22

I don't see why a hotel meal isn't suitable my daughter has had several, she is 3. We have stayed in a hotel with her too, granted not easy, but we just compromise she gets to go to sleep a little later and we get a much earlier night than normal. I think YABU and should suck it up for a couple of nights for your FILs birthday.

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