To think hotels and restaurant meals are not suitable for DC?

[FirstTimeLucky]

Me, DH and our two DC, aged 5 and 3, are being forced to stay in a hotel for two nights with MIL, FIL and SIL for FIL’s milestone birthday. We are staying in a family room which MIL has booked. I have no desire to take all the chaos of Home and put us all in one room. On top of this, they have booked a 6.30pm meal for us all in the hotel restaurant. AIBU to think this is totally unsuitable for a 5 and 3 year old?? And then what will we do? Sit in the dark in our family room while they go to sleep? We’ve never stayed in a hotel with DC before. Added to this, neither DC are great sleepers and so will inevitably be difficult to get to sleep and up early. AIBU to really not want to go, or should we just suck it up for FIL’s bday?

But they are used to restaurants which helps
I think if you are prepared it’ll be fine

colouring before the meal
Quiet games like I spy, dobble, noughts and crosses in between courses
iPad/phone with headphones after the meal / in lounge area

It'll be great fun - if you let it be!

Let the DC stay up late. Don't watch the clock - stay at dinner as long as you're enjoying yourselves.

As others say, let them wind down and sleep when they feel like it in the room.

Relax in the hotel room with wine and something good to watch while they sleep.

Let them sleep in a bit the next morning if they will.

Breakfast hotel meals are a real treat for my DC, they love them!

It'll be fine - or nice, even!

It is 6.30 not 10.30. You are being ridiculous and precious. Unless there's a back story why you hate your in laws.

Oh come on, it sound's like excuses! Is there a back story, don't you like your ILs? It's a hotel in the UK, not a tent in the middle of the Sahara desert!

Honestly you don't seem to like them much. I'd leave it off rather than spoil it for everyone else

Always had a lovely time in hotel rooms and restaurant meals when my children were todders. Even though three have special needs and usually needed a strict routine, when we were away from home the rule book was torn up, and surprising even our autistic enjoyed it. Same with all the younger foster children we have had. Now we take our 4 year old grandson too. We have enormous fun - we make it into an exciting adventure, we always did/do. On all holidays we have never eaten before 6.40pm. Usually a lot later, 8 or 9pm when abroad. Always worked well. Again something of an exciting adventure.

I don't really see what is wrong with the plan, and it sounds like by booking an early meal, PIL have done their best to accommodate your children. After dinner, would the DC go to sleep on a soft chair/sofa in the bar, or sit playing something (quietly) whilst you have a drink with PIL? If you have to go back to your room, could you put them to bed and have a lamp on, for soft lighting, so that you and DH could have a drink/chat, or watch TV?

It is a pain to share a room, but it's only for two nights. Otherwise you could try to change your room to a suite so the children's bedroom is separate from yours (or book two rooms with interconnecting doors).

Everything else sounds fine, especially if MIL is paying!

I'm not getting your issue here'. Surely you're aware people take their kids on holiday and share a room with them and they eat in hotel restaurants? It's very normal and common?

Just let the kids stay up late. God I remember taking my daughter for Xmas to aviemore at two and she had a whale of a time. Was sat on the hotel bar in her little pyjamas at midnight as we all chatted to her and cooed over her. She was dancing all night and loving it.Slept like a little log.

Just unclench and go with it. It will be fun. One or two nights off their routine is fine. And your mother in law booking the early dinner has been very considerate. If they get hungry before hand give them a snack.

We have stayed in hotels with our pair since they were four months old. They have always loved it. Yes it can mean sitting in the dark sometimes, or having a long bath while they get to sleep but they have always loved it. You can take a tablet and earphones. The meal time doesn't sound that bad either unless there is other information we are missing. I am thinking your DC should really enjoy this.

Well I'm inclined to agree that there is no way of want to take my 5yo and 3yo somewhere that I can't separate them

Seriously though, a family room sounds grim. We all need our own space in the household. The 5yo is an amazing sleeper, the 3yo is not so they don't share a room.

The dinner part would be fine though.

And it's 2 nights people. Not just one.

Could you actually change it to go for just 1 night OP?

Is the restaurant in the hotel? If they provide family rooms the chances are they will provide kid-friendly options as well. Unless it's a super posh restaurant I don't get what your problem is?
Do the kids sleep in pitch darkness? What are their normal bedtimes? Couldn't you download a movie to watch and have a couple nice drinks with just your partner while the kids are sleeping?

I’m really confused - this sounds nice! What exactly are you concerned about? None of that looks like a problem to me.

We booked pretty much this with our then 18 mo for my dad’s last milestone birthday. We had a family room, my parents had a double next door. We arrived nice and early, made the most of the pool, changed for the evening then had dinner in the restaurant starting at 7 (DD had crudités and houmous to start, then pasta and salad and polished off a yoghurt for dessert!) we all had an absolutely lovely time including our very happy excited DD!

By the time we all finished dinner it was nearly 10, so we settled DD in her cot (so DH and I sat quietly for 30 mins) then sat on the sofa in our room with a nice cuppa and watched a film for a bit before going to bed ourselves.

Your kids are older so should be even easier, surely? We eat out quite a bit with DD and it’s been great - hotels will always cater for kids if you ask and the occasional late night (especially with family) won’t do any harm.

My kids all love a hotel visit although I prefer not to all sleep in one room for more than one night. It'll be a novelty and very exciting for the dc. Also, 6.30 is early for an adult meal so your in-laws are clearly trying to consider the children.

YABU. And a bit crazy.
Sounds great to me!

If there's no back story...

try to push out lunch to more like 1:30 so 6:30pm dinner won't be too long to wait, or suggest afternoon tea at 4ish, dinner more like proper dinner time of after 8pm and hire a babysitter to sit in the room with them (we've done this at hotels for weddings, usually they end up sitting in the doorway reading a book from the hallway light!)

Let them stay up late.

Bring a dvd and let them fall asleep watching?

You don’t want to go.

Stop using your dcs as an excuse.

My two (now 4 and 7) have spent nearly 4 weeks a year in hotel rooms with us since the older one was tiny. (We are greedy sods who like two holidays a year!)

1. iPads and WiFi. Me and dh each take an IPad and headphones and spend the evenings each plugged into our own favourite shows. It’s great! I don’t even have to feel guilty about not having loaded the dishwasher!
2. 6:30pm is fine for a meal. We are rubbish and disorganised and as the holiday goes on it gets later and later. If you are travelling that day then they will probably nap in the car anyway.
3. Practice your “I am supposed to be doing this - honest!” look - very useful for taking drinks back to the room. (Most hotels don’t mind but if you stay at a Premier Inn and the pub is on a different site you are not really supposed to. I always take the glasses back the next morning and they don’t seem to mind too much.)
4. Meals out with kids are easy - take games with you - Pigs in Pants is our current favourite!

I can see where you're coming from OP.

My DD was amazing at changing routine, staying up late, parties, adapting etc.
You could go in her room when she was sleeping, hang clothes up, tidy up, set off an atomic bomb etc Nothing fazed or woke her.

Then DS came along...

He is hopeless at being out of his routine. Trust me, I have tried on numerous occasions and it just wasn't worth it. he would wake at a sparrow farting.
If we kept him out late, by his usual bed time he'd get hyper with over-tiredness and start acting up and creating a fuss. Tantrums, snot, tears, the lot.
Bedtime would then be a complete disaster as he woke be delirious with tiredness and take ages (& delay my ability to drink wine) to go to sleep!
We once went to a wedding. I took him up to the room at about 9pm (way later than I would have liked) and we could hear the music faintly in our room, then guests talking/laughing as they made their way to their room. DS barely slept until 3am! Then woke at 6.30am for the day, and was a crabbit little sod for 2 days

Only you know your kids and how well they'd deal with that situation.

I suppose it also depends on how much the occasion means to you. It would not be my idea of fun, but might be worth the short term pain.

I don’t geddit.

OP can you come back and explain what exactly is unsuitable? The food? The hotel stay? The time of the meal?

Mine love hotels and have been staying in them since they were babies. We don't mind adjusting bedtimes etc for special family times. It'll be an adventure for them :)

Sounds great! I'd enjoy it-let then stay up lasts & have a bottle of wine & watch a film in the room.

It’ll be fine. I used to let her stay up about an hour later than usual, make DH stay in the bar (he’s a bad influence!!), put to bed as normal, and then play / read on my phone with the light out, dimming the screen a bit. Usually DD would be chatty and excited for about half an hour, then sudden silence - and she’d gone off. Once she’s asleep for 10 minutes or so, we found we could put a side light on without waking her.

One thing if it will involve a long journey - remember if they sleep in the car they won’t sleep at night so well!