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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be utterly fucking furious.

93 replies

preemiestruggles · 04/01/2018 18:21

DP and I live together. Same sex couple. I am sole wage earner she is retraining. We have 2 cars. She can't drive (at least not legally) both cars are insured in my name and belong to me. She is named driver on hers.

I was sat with DC when she came and said, right I'm going to the shop, I'm taking the car. I asked her WTF?? For context shop is 5 minute walk away so I assumed she would walk.

She was planned on taking car and driving with no license (and thus no insurance) her pov is that it's not far so it's fine. Mine is that if she crashed I would be in trouble as car owner and insurer. I need vehicle for job, as will she when she completes training.

AIBU in being furious that she would even think about doing this? Fucking irrisponsible and lazy?

OP posts:
LemonShark · 04/01/2018 18:23

YANBU of course. Nobody should be driving without a license or driving a car they're uninsured on!

My bigger worry would be how casually she said it, do you think she's been doing this behind your back for a while?

MrsMozart · 04/01/2018 18:23

She's an arse.

Trafficjammadness · 04/01/2018 18:23

Obviously Stevie being ridiculous go drive without a license but why do you have 2 cars and insurance etc. If only one of you drive

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 04/01/2018 18:24

If she has no licence or insurance, why do you have 2 cars?

Namechangetempissue · 04/01/2018 18:24

Yes, it's a total dick move. More so that her inexperience could lead to a crash that actually killed somebody. YANBU.

Sirzy · 04/01/2018 18:24

Of course your not being unreasonable.

Until she passes her test keep both sets of keys with you.

TheSnowballFairy · 04/01/2018 18:24

YANBU. At all.

ohfourfoxache · 04/01/2018 18:24

You need to hide the keys and /or disconnect the battery

Weezol · 04/01/2018 18:25

YANBU. At all. I would ensure she has no access to keys until she is legal to drive in her own right.

Is there anything else going on that could have led to her provoking an argument?

AnnieAnoniMouse · 04/01/2018 18:26

Why doesn’t she have her licence? Has she lost it rather than not yet got it?

Either way, she’s an idiot.

MiddleClassProblem · 04/01/2018 18:27

Trafficjammadness Stevie Nicks? Grin

Original poster
preemiestruggles · 04/01/2018 18:29

Sorry. Should have been clearer. She is learning at the moment and car is hers for once she passes and I go out practising with her.

OP posts:
Nikephorus · 04/01/2018 18:32

She's only a learner and she's going to go out (uninsured & unlicenced)?!!!! Angry

Viviennemary · 04/01/2018 18:33

I think you should end the relationship. She has a very skewed sense of right and wrong IMHO. Doesn't she realise the consequences of driving a car if she hasn't got a licence. Seems not.

SandyDenny · 04/01/2018 18:33

You don't even need to ask, only an arse of a person drives a car alone when they haven't passed their test.

PotteringAlong · 04/01/2018 18:33

She’s done it before. She’s an arse.

Original poster
preemiestruggles · 04/01/2018 18:34

Yes. Well she didn't. Me and DC went so it was legal. I'm fucking furious that she would suggest it so easily though. I can't believe our values are so different on this topic.

OP posts:
nousername123 · 04/01/2018 18:37

YOU could be liable if anything happens, does she realise this? It's very serious, it's not "oh it will be fine" people like her are the reason insurance is so bloody high in the first place. She may think she's confident at driving to the shops but she hasn't passed a test so she isn't competent x

JaneEyre70 · 04/01/2018 18:39

At the very least I'd be hiding the keys. That's an insane thing for her to have even thought of, let alone do and the fact she's mentioned it would make me think she's done it before..........

Nikephorus · 04/01/2018 18:40

Presumably she has a provisional licence? She can't earn learn without it. And presumably your insurance includes her specifically AS A LEARNER otherwise you're breaking the law every time you go out with her?
Stupid move buying her a car before she qualified.
And she'll have done it before.

PotteringAlong · 04/01/2018 18:40

Actually, you don’t want to know just if she’s done it before. You want to know if she’s done it with the dc in the car...

Sirzy · 04/01/2018 18:40

Are the children old enough to understand that she shouldn’t be driving alone yet? I am not normally one for encouraging children to “tell tales” but I think I would make an exception in this case

RJnomore1 · 04/01/2018 18:40

Why would op be liable? Serious question

Jaxhog · 04/01/2018 18:41

YANBU! You have to ask?

Take the keys and tell her she can USE them when you are with her or HAVE them only when she's legal to drive. Anything else is a deal breaker.

WorraLiberty · 04/01/2018 18:41

She's a selfish twat

Like others, I wouldn't be surprised if she's done it before.

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