To be utterly fucking furious.

[preemiestruggles]

DP and I live together. Same sex couple. I am sole wage earner she is retraining. We have 2 cars. She can't drive (at least not legally) both cars are insured in my name and belong to me. She is named driver on hers.

I was sat with DC when she came and said, right I'm going to the shop, I'm taking the car. I asked her WTF?? For context shop is 5 minute walk away so I assumed she would walk.

She was planned on taking car and driving with no license (and thus no insurance) her pov is that it's not far so it's fine. Mine is that if she crashed I would be in trouble as car owner and insurer. I need vehicle for job, as will she when she completes training.

AIBU in being furious that she would even think about doing this? Fucking irrisponsible and lazy?

I'm not in the UK, but the statistics here are that a vast amount of accidents occur within 10 minutes distance from home.

There was a whole advertising campaign by our government warning of that danger. Some of the reasons included false confidence about knowing the roads so well, being on auto-pilot so close to home, being tired after returning from a drive, etc.

So the excuse of not going far just doesn't cut it, even without the facts of no insurance, no license, etc......

Quit moaning. Thanks for that. Don't understand why this would be different from for example driving with undeclared medical condition when they say ins could be invalid? She is not the insured, op is?

Correct me if I'm wrong, learner drivers are only allowed to have one more person in the car with them (the driver who is supervising them) but no additional passengers (so taking your DC with was illegal)

www.gov.uk/driving-lessons-learning-to-drive/practising-with-family-or-friends

"You can drive with as many passengers as the vehicle can legally hold."

I didnt know this. although its perfectly logical when you think about it....

"It’s illegal for your friend or family member to use a mobile phone while supervising you."

By handing over his keys he gave implied consent which is why he was liable. In this case the GF would have taken the car without consent so the OP wouldnt be liable.

Which is where the GF puts the OP in a position when the police come knocking.

"Did you give her permission to take the car?"

"No" = a twocing charge for the GF & the potential ramifications of that

"Yes" = Allowing someone to drive without insurance so points and a fine.

The points and fine are why people sometimes feel under pressure to say yes. It's 'lesser' than a theft charge.

It's a truly shit position to put your other half in

Doesn't she realise she could go to prison? Is the child just yours of both of yours? If the former then I would consider getting rid-you don't want to be stuck with someone that stupid.

If she takes the car and drives it without and is caught, either you would have to tell the police that she stole it and she would be charged for theft of motor vehicle or you admit that you gave her permission to drive it without you in the car and you would be charged - cant remember what with but there this one

I would not want the car in my name any longer tbh. As another person pointed out upthread, if she does take the car and get caught, you will be forced to either admit you let her take the car and pay a whopping fine, lose your license and see your insurance sky rocket or admit she took it without permission. Either way, your relationship will be over I imagine.

This one of those times where showing the idiot the thread is a good idea.

A driving licence is a privilege given to people who have demonstrated a particular skill.

That's why it can be taken away from people who show lack of skill / judgement. You can't 'unlearn' but you can have the privilege taken away.

She is an idiot and a dangerous. How would she feel letting her children out on the road with an uninsured driver with no licence?

Does she have a regular driving instructor?

Can you tip him or her off that she thinks it is reasonable to take the car to the shop without a license?

I don't think I would trust this person any further than I could throw her with the DCs. Don't rely on them to tell you what she does with the car behind your back. That is not fair on them, and not a reliable way to get information.

You could take the keys.
You could sell the car.
But there is a basic power imbalance and a lack of trust in a relationship where one person is acting as policeman and the other is being so irresponsible.

Some people are less risk adverse than me when it comes to uninsured driving but not driving without a licence. Friend recently offered to run an errand in my car for me as I was ill, they were being kind but I was surprised they'd drive a car uninsured and would never let anyone use my car in that way.

Had another friend who's dh without a licence crashed a hire car, she had to pretend it was her and it obviously caused a lot of resentment in their relationship.

Your dp is very unreasonable. I would actually hide the keys to this car out if the house if you can so no chance of her doing it, and hide your car keys too. I would stop doing lessons with her and just leave her to learn with a professional driving instructor.

As pp have said, it would be a bit of a deal breaker for me to be with someone who genuinely funny see that this was a dangerous thing to do with my own kids, not you mention other road users.

How old is she? It's sounds like something a teen would say - this whole thread reads like it is about a teen daughter not a DP. Either way, I'd find it difficult to trust after such a blazé attitude.

She's being a dangerous idiot...

If she were caught, I suspect youd have to report it as a taking without consent in order to get yourself out of being charged...

For a five minute walk....

She needs to pass her test and until then someone has to supervise

I know someone upthread said you wouldn't be liable and I haven't read the whole thread, but if she is stopped you would be given points (around 6 usually) for having no insurance if you gave her permission to drive. The alternative is you say she didn't have permission to drive and she is prosecuted for taking the vehicle without consent. Not really a happy situation in either respect I would say.

Your dp is a major twat. No discussion needed. Irresponsible idiot.

Why does the OP keep having to explain why they have two cars?? It’s totally irrelevant to the point. Having a ‘spare’ car lying about doesn’t mean that normal people who havent passed their tests are more likely to take one of them. Most people realise that’s not permitted. The OP isnt at fault for leaving temptation in her way.

Sell the car
Hide the keys

WTAF? She’s an adult not a child. She might be acting like a teenager, but she isn’t one and the OP isn’t her parent.

preemiestruggles just wondering about your user name? Is it really old or do you have a young baby together as well? (Or not your prem?). I don’t know what I’d do tbh. Does she actually understand what the legal consequences are of doing this?

She needs to give her head a wobble ! 🙄
OP, you are right to be concerned, how selfish and entitled she is.