AIBU to not go back to work after maternity leave

[zigzagbetty]

My maternity leave is coming to an end in February and I just can't face going back to work. I am the main breadwinner but we have been managing on my dh's wages while I've been on the unpaid part of my leave. He says he will support me whatever happens but I keep feeling guilty and a bit scared about him being the only wage earner.
Ive been in my job for 20 years and would like a change in career and cant see how I can go back to the fast paced, stressful environment at the moment. I know though I'm unlikely to earn the same wage in a new role. I'm just conflicted. First post please be kind!

Sorry to read your update.

I must admit, I think you've had a lot of poor advice on this thread with people saying you'll never regret it, your husband could take on more hours, you can happily live frugally. This is such a short-sighted view. Fine while you have a cute toddler and you are indispensable and your days are filled with your child. Five years on they will be at school, most people will be back at work, and being home does not seem the same at all.

I would have struggled to work full-time when mine were small and was fortunate to get a job with part time hours that I have gradually upped (teacher). I really do sympathise. But giving up work completely is a massive risk, a huge stress to your partner and leaves you very vulnerable. As for the poster saying she knew lots of lovely decent men who were proud to support their wife and kids...many, many of us think/thought we had that. I did. And I don't now.

I'm so sorry your choices have been taken away from you, that is so tough and difficult. But thank goodness this change didn't occur in six months time when you would have been full of regrets and panic. I wish you all the best and I really hope your DH gets another job soon, giving you the option of job hunting from an employed position, for something part-time and more suited to you.