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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To refuse to travel with work?

91 replies

GerddwrEryri · 04/01/2018 11:42

I've just started a new contract at the same company I've worked at for a few years. Nothing in my contract has been mentioned about travelling nor was this mentioned when I took got pushed into the job. First day back after the new year on Tuesday I was told I'd be travelling in a few weeks. One of our other sites has a system they use that my line manager wants to implement here, hence wanting me to go over and see it.

I have depression and anxiety. I really don't do well travelling. I'm bad enough travelling with people I know and love let alone travelling with work.

AIBU to refuse and can they make me?

OP posts:
RavingRoo · 04/01/2018 11:46

What does your contract say?

Original poster
GerddwrEryri · 04/01/2018 11:47

Nothing at all about travelling Raving

OP posts:
eastwest1234 · 04/01/2018 11:49

Have you sought help over how you feel about travelling?

I'd try to do the trip

Original poster
GerddwrEryri · 04/01/2018 11:50

I'm seeing a counsellor but it's still very early days with her

OP posts:
CharlieAustinsMagicHat · 04/01/2018 11:50

It might not explicitly state travelling, could be a mobility cause or something along the lines of your location depending on the needs of work.

LemonShark · 04/01/2018 11:51

I would use this as an opportunity to get a handle on treating your MH issues so they don't hold you back in situations like these. If you ring your local IAPT you can usually self refer for an assessment for therapy. Sure you can try wriggle out of the travel this time but it'll impact your career if you refuse every time, you'll look like you're not a team player and will he looked at as not committed etc.

Oldbutstillgotit · 04/01/2018 11:52

How far away is the site and how long would you be there for ? If it is a go, look, see visit it seems reasonable.

Bluntness100 · 04/01/2018 11:52

How far away is the other site and how long do you need to be there for?

LemonShark · 04/01/2018 11:52

Ah cross posted! Good you're seeing someone. Is she a counsellor? As CBT is the most effective for the issues you mention, so might be worth asking if she is qualified in cbt and can start on treating your depression and anxiety as you have a motivator now (this trip).

arethereanyleftatall · 04/01/2018 11:54

Is this travel to eg India, or the different site down the road?

missbattenburg · 04/01/2018 11:56

Depending on your relationship with your employer and boss - is this something you could talk to them about?

As a manager, if one of my team came to me and explained that travel made them anxious I would do everything I could to work with them and achieve the same goals but without the travel. An example might be setting up a remote connection to the other system and asking someone from that site to visit us to demo it. I could then keep their anxiety over travel in mind for the future and not ask them again unless they came to me and said they were happy to travel.

Most importantly, it would not affect what I thought of their skills or ability to do the job. It would just help me understand what the target is rather than someone just saying they don't want to go or refusing. Not wanting to go might be seen as not wanting to learn the new system (for e.g.) and I might wonder then if I would be better off asking someone else to do it. Explaining about anxiety would help me see they do want to learn the system or help with implementing it but that it is the travel that is the sticking point.

billybagpuss · 04/01/2018 11:58

Are you on a fixed term contract. My DH was an IT contractor with a well known American company, they told him one day that he had to America with 3 weeks notice, they paid for a fast track passport as his had expired.

The following month with 2 weeks notice he was told the same thing, he refused as we had 2 family christenings. He then started getting cut out of meetings and the loop and his contract wasn't renewed.

As a short term contractor it depends on whether you are working for them on an employed or self employed basis. Many are self employed and as such you have no employment rights. So whilst you can refuse it may backfire.

Good luck

Original poster
GerddwrEryri · 04/01/2018 11:59

It's a few hours away on a plane. I've done UK travel before. I didn't like it but I wouldn't refuse.

Tbh I've never wanted to progress my career anyway. I know most people do but I just want to come in, do my job, get paid and go home again. I never wanted to be in the role I'm doing now but it pays the bills...

OP posts:
Original poster
GerddwrEryri · 04/01/2018 12:00

billy not on a fixed term contract and they'd have to give 4 months notice if they did choose to go down the route of getting rid of me - although I'd hope it didn't come to That!

OP posts:
Snowysky2000 · 04/01/2018 12:01

Does your contract say anything along the lines of 'and anywhere that the business requires you' or 'at sites as per business needs' often travelling is worded something along these lines.
When I first had to travel for work I was so nervious. (A) going into a different workplace (B) finding my way there (C) driving in cities I didn't know (D) booking a hotel and staying by myself (E) eating at a restaurant by myself.
Yes I have anxiety and depression too. (Actually the depression is now bi-polar but was depression for 8 years).
By my point is, that it was not anything I had imagined. All of these worse case scenarios didn't happen. The other sites were really good teams to work with, once I googled my route to death, had a print out and my sat nav- the journey was fine, the hotels and restaurants are used to seeing 'single' women on business, no one batters an eyelid.
Take the leap, you will feel so much better after you have done it- it is quite empowering.

Capelin · 04/01/2018 12:01

What do you mean when you say you got pushed into taking this job? Who pushed you?

LeCroissant · 04/01/2018 12:02

My advice would be to do whatever you can to get yourself to do it and if it's a disaster then think about changing jobs. You could decide that 2018 is the year that anxiety stops holding you back.

Snowysky2000 · 04/01/2018 12:03

Oh sorry x post I see it's not UK.....

Bluntness100 · 04/01/2018 12:03

This is difficult. If it's not perceived as part of the role, no thy cannot force it.

I think uou have two options, you will need to either explain your mental health issues and why you can't travel or use this as an opportunity to try to focus on fixing them.

If you explain you cannot do it, then you will not be forced.

TheOrigRightsofwomen · 04/01/2018 12:06

What would be the implications of you saying that since it's not in your contract you don't want to travel? ie what is your relationship like with your employee?

Is travel something you'd actually like to do, but feel held back by your MH issues? If so then maybe a frank discussion explaining (in not too much detail) how you'd like to travel in the future, but you're not able to right now but are working on ways to enable it to happen.

Original poster
GerddwrEryri · 04/01/2018 12:06

snowy there's absolutely nothing along those lines in my contract.

capelin that's a very long story. Long and short of it was "take this other role within the company or we no longer have a need for you" which sadly ACAS confirmed they are well within their legal rights to do. Despite the fact the job I was doing still needs doing it was worded in such a way that I didn't have a choice.

OP posts:
Original poster
GerddwrEryri · 04/01/2018 12:08

TheOrig I think even without the MH I'd still be reluctant to travel. It's not something that ever interested me. In terms of the implications, I honestly have no idea. I really can't imagine he'd understand

OP posts:
jarhead123 · 04/01/2018 12:11

For all they know you don;t have a passport! I'd decline

sonjadog · 04/01/2018 12:16

If you had to take this job or else lose it entirely, could something similar happen if you refuse to travel, and if so, would you look back and wish you had taken the trip or will you think that was still the best thing to do?

TangledSlinky · 04/01/2018 12:17

For all they know you don;t have a passport! I'd decline

The trouble is, the company could easily remedy the lack of passport by paying to fast-track the application for one.

How long have you been in the current role for? If it were a role given to avoid redundancy it could be that there's a bedding in/probation period and by not agreeing to travel they may deem you unsuitable for this new role. Was there any mention of reasonable travel or the like in the job description?

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