To refuse to travel with work?

[GerddwrEryri]

I've just started a new contract at the same company I've worked at for a few years. Nothing in my contract has been mentioned about travelling nor was this mentioned when I took got pushed into the job. First day back after the new year on Tuesday I was told I'd be travelling in a few weeks. One of our other sites has a system they use that my line manager wants to implement here, hence wanting me to go over and see it.

I have depression and anxiety. I really don't do well travelling. I'm bad enough travelling with people I know and love let alone travelling with work.

AIBU to refuse and can they make me?

Its childcare during the working week. Sorry, I wasn't clear.

Inset days, snow resulting in the school closing has been used recently. She offered to attend via audio but that isn't the same at all!

I could not say that I haven't got childcare so I am not coming!

Someone who knows more about employment law can advise you better than me, and I am not much help. But YANBU. I would be irked too.

I used to work for a big corporate employer and they were constantly sending me on fucking courses! Stupid pointless shit, like 'race awareness' 'equal opportunities' 'how to be more assertive' 'breaking through the glass ceiling' 'empowering women in the 21st century ' and other equally naff shit.

I lived and worked in the black country, and the courses were often in London, or Manchester, (No idea why!) and it took about THREE HOURS to get there and THREE HOURS to get back. Plus the 8 hours of the day there. Some courses were Monday to Friday. Five 14-hour days, and I never got paid any more for the 6 hours of travel. I only got the money back for the train and buses; about 6 weeks after I paid it!

I hated travelling to places and things I never wanted to go to, and it really stressed me out. Especially as the days were so long. One course leader let me leave an hour early (at 4pm) one day, as he knew I lived 100 miles away, and my manager heard about it (as someone grassed me up,) and he proper laid into me for leaving an hour early, saying 'these courses cost us £50 a day per person, you are basically robbing the company!' With this look.

I said 'yeah but I am not even getting home til 8pm, and I am only paid til 5pm. 'I DO NOT CARE.' he snapped. Many many people have long commutes for work, why should you be any different?' 'I said 'I didn't even ask to go on the course.' Then I got a verbal warning for insubordination.

Cunt. Didn't stay there much longer.

So yeah, YANBU for not wanting to go gallivanting up and down outside of the workplace!

Its always useful I find to have a Pros and Cons when you are making a decision like this. On paper its often much easier to see what is what.

I suspect this is a middle range role as opposed to something lowly paid. Most middle range roles require some travelling even if its for training etc a couple of times a year.

OP I really wouldn’t worry about the social aspect. On the journey you could chat, read or even work, no-one will mind. With the out of hours socialising, just say you are tired, going to spend the evening relaxing, phoning home, they maybe quite relieved you don’t want to tag along for their laddish nights out. There will be two of them, after all.

Check your obligations contract-wise, but if you do have to go I think you will find it a lot easier than you fear.

But seriously Hillingdon what do you expect your colleague to do if she has to look after her child(ren)?

“But seriously Hillingdon what do you expect your colleague to do if she has to look after her child(”

Get childcare.

Have an arrangement with a babysitter, an agency, a reciprocal swap with another parent, the Dad... Oh, how often I hear ‘oh no my husband cannot leave work early EVAH, but you, dear employer, are expected to pick up after my every patenting need ‘.

That sort of thing depends a lot on the type of job, and whether the meetings are actually necessary, as to whether this colleague is being unreasonable. If it's a pointless meeting in a poorly paid, shitty job, particularly if it's the sort of thing that's declared at very short notice, then all employees should be saying, look, let's work out a more sensible way of doing stuff. If it's a very demanding job that requires short-notice travel and overtime, it should either be well enough paid that someone can afford an emergency babysitter - or just maybe it's not the best job for someone with dependents or external commitments. (As to 'My H can't leave work early' - if the H is a surgeon or something then he can't down scalpel in the middle of a gall bladder removal because his DW has been told she has to attend a training course on pro-active thinking and innovative mind maps or some other bullshit at the last minute).

Anxiety about flying is a recognised MH condition I think. So discussing it with an employer and seeking alternatives is a reasonable thing to do in my opinion.

What concerned me was the OPs comment about a laddish culture and how spending more than just a normal working day with some colleagues could cause more stress. If there is such a culture, why has it been allowed to continue- surely any employer who was aware and did nothing opens themselves up to claims of unfair treatment at an employment tribunal?

Hope he responds to you soon!

"Anxiety about flying is a recognised MH condition I think. So discussing it with an employer and seeking alternatives is a reasonable thing to do in my opinion"

I think the issue is that the OP has been abroad recently with her husband and work know about it, which would mean some raised eyebrows at the very least if she then says to work 'I can't fly or travel because of my anxiety!'. It sounds like she's not too fussed about career progression and has little interest in this job anyway so I guess she just has to weigh up if she's happy to risk losing it rather than if she's happy to shoot her reputation and progression in the foot.

Honestly I think I'd work on your issues because god you refuse its very probable that they won't renew your contract..
Refusing all travel will definitely harder to find something else

Thank you DivisionBelle. I was wondering what other people's childcare issues has to do with the company you are working for especially if you haven't been around for long.

My point is that companies don't want to know or to be honest even care that much if your child has measles, a bad cold or the cat needs to be taken to the vet! They really don't.

But Hillingdon you said that your colleague couldn’t get childcare, not that she had not tried hard enough to do so.

Contrary to what some may believe it is sometimes impossible- if your parents are deceased like mine, you have no friends you could call upon at short notice and you are a single parent, for example. These mythical agencies don’t cover every postcode in the UK or have teams of nannies just sitting on the bench waiting for that call.
And don’t make sweeping statements about what companies do and don’t want to know about. My employer is very sympathetic to emergencies experienced by those with caring responsibilities as long as they don’t take the piss; it’s seen as an easy win to keep good employees.

Oh and measles is a bloody serious illness by the way, you shouldn’t be flippant about it.

My point is that companies don't want to know or to be honest even care that much if your child has measles, a bad cold or the cat needs to be taken to the vet!

Speak for yourself. Good employers recognise the importance of their workforces and their wellbeing as an important resource.

I am a rational employer. I am not rigid for the sake of it, I am eminently flexible, I trust my staff to work hard and be contientious and they are. Loyalty and goodwill work magic, both ways.

The majority of my staff are women (not a typically traditional female industry).
But I get very irritated when it is nearly always (or by default) ME as an employer of women who puts myself out, re-schedules following THAT phone call from the school, acccompdates all the emergency carers days when illness strikes, and the employers of husbands don’t pick up the same.

I see it all the time on MN, women asking what to do about childcare absences, and the answer will always be ‘call in sick yourself ‘ before ‘tell your DP/ DH to take time off’.

They are not all surgeons in tne middle of operations.

My DH has always done his proper fair share of emergency sick days, and sitting out childcare. He did his fair share of weekend childcare and babysitting for our SAHP so that we could do reciprocal favours and afk them to collect our kids if we had late meetings.

Be serious about parenting, be serious about work, be serious about equality,

And for heavens sake, SGB, if a family has a parent who is paid to undertake gall bladder ops AND another working adult, they should be able to afford an after school childminder, an agency sitter, or whatever.

Though I agree workplaces should not take up out of hours time unecrsssrilu and without clear outcomes / need.