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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask DP to cancel 9.45pm restaurant booking

130 replies

Thewindkeptmeawake · 03/01/2018 09:44

DP & I were reading the Sunday papers which featured a restaurant close to us. I mentioned it may be nice to go for my birthday which is coming up.
He immediately emailed & called them & eventually got a booking for a Saturday evening but at 9.45pm.

I feel ungrateful but it is too late for me - I’m thinking starters won’t be served until 10.30 !

Am I being ungrateful?

OP posts:
MargaretCavendish · 03/01/2018 10:37

Of course I have been to the West end, and at no point have I ever gone out for a meal AFTER a show that finishes at 10.00-10.30pm.

This might astonish you, but not everyone does exactly what you do. Take a look in the windows of some restaurants next time you go to a show, and you'll find lots of people having post-theatre dinners.

BoucleJacket · 03/01/2018 10:37

I've travelled to other countries too.

I must have imagined all those people I saw ordering meals after 10pm.

Maybe I was delirious from hunger.

lottiegarbanzo · 03/01/2018 10:39

What's the problem with saying 'lovely idea but that really is too late. Let's try somewhere else this time and go there when they're quieter?'

I don't understand why that would be hard to say, or why any decent person would be offended at having it said to them.

froginapond · 03/01/2018 10:40

You may have travelled to other countries, but obviously not southern Italy or Spain, where sitting down for a meal at 10pm is totally normal and restaurants are completely deserted (and often not open) at 7.

Yes I have travelled to these places, and no it's NOT common for most people to start a full 3 course meal at 10pm (which is what the OP is on about,) in those countries.

Every place I have visited, in every country, people start meals as late as 8,00-8.30pm yeah, but 10.00-10.30pm, no. Yes, people eat after 10pm but not a full 3 course sit-down meal.

I knew someone would try and make out that it happens, but it doesn't. Not in Europe, not in London, not anywhere.

Like I said, we are not talking about grabbing a kebab or a pizza! We are talking about a full 3 course meal.

Jux · 03/01/2018 10:40

My whole body is shut down by that time of night, I would simply not be able to digest food that late. That said, I do have an autoimmune condition which has completely me up. When I was actually a properly functioning human it wouldn’t have bothered me at all. As said upthread, have some nibbles etc earlier, or perhaps cinema or theatre first?

froginapond · 03/01/2018 10:41

I was right about people insisting it happens all the time though.

It doesn't.

Rebeccaslicker · 03/01/2018 10:42

Ah then I feel sorry for you, frog. Cramming down a bargain early bird special before the show, and then sitting there all full and sleepy, rather than having a lovely long meal afterwards and enjoying chatting about the show really sucks.

But if you've been in London after 10 at night, you'll see lots and lots and lots of people sitting down to eat at that time. So I am surprised that you think it's so odd.

Trinity66 · 03/01/2018 10:42

Its your birthday, stay up late, live a little Grin

froginapond · 03/01/2018 10:43

My whole body is shut down by that time of night, I would simply not be able to digest food that late. That said, I do have an autoimmune condition which has completely me up. When I was actually a properly functioning human it wouldn’t have bothered me at all. As said upthread, have some nibbles etc earlier, or perhaps cinema or theatre first?

Exactly @jux

There is no way in hell that the vast majority of people would START a 3 course meal at 10pm. It's utter bollocks.

Original poster
Thewindkeptmeawake · 03/01/2018 10:43

Thanks for all the opinions especially Ravings 😜

We are most definitely NOT in the West End but quite a sleepy town.

I have asked the restaurant to put us on a wait list for an earlier time.

I was more concerned with being pissed by the time we ate , not having a starter as I would be so hungry & therefore not appreciating the whole experience

OP posts:
Rebeccaslicker · 03/01/2018 10:43

Here are a few examples:

www.high50.com/food/late-night-dining-london-best-post-theatre-restaurants

Emily7708 · 03/01/2018 10:43

God no, far too late for me to eat. I’d do it in a party situation but not just for a meal with DH. Kind of him to book but it’s just a phone call and presumably he hasn’t paid anything.

Given the choice I’d rather eat late, second would be stab myself in the stomach, with last choice being the eyeball slicing as I’m a bit squeamish.

BoucleJacket · 03/01/2018 10:43

Goodness me froginapond.

You're a very tenacious person.

Rebeccaslicker · 03/01/2018 10:44

Nobody is saying "the vast majority" would do it every day. But as a treat, it's fine. You won't turn into a pumpkin!

FlipFlopFlappy · 03/01/2018 10:44

I sometimes wonder how other marriages work with communication. If he was next to you wouldn’t he look at you whilst on the phone and say 9.45? Then you can either nod or shake your head.

MsHarry · 03/01/2018 10:44

Did he not say " I can get a table but not until 9.45, do you want it or shall I book the week after?"

That would be normal in this house. Personally I would go at that time on a Saturday. A disco nap, a light snack at 5/6 and a few drinks first and it will be lovely. But only if you can do it without whinging otherwise there is no point.

froginapond · 03/01/2018 10:44

I lived in London for 10 years @rebecca, (up to 3 years ago,) so keep your condescending 'i feel sorry for you' comments to yourself hun.

Zatsuma · 03/01/2018 10:45

froginapond
by the time DH and I are both back home in the evening, it's 9pm by the time we seat down for diner on weekdays. It's nothing unusual, most people around here finish late and have a long commute.

You might find that not everybody has the same lifestyle than yours

MsHarry · 03/01/2018 10:46

They do it all the time in Spain! Find your inner Carmen....

froginapond · 03/01/2018 10:46

goodness me frog You are a very tenacious person

Goodness me, really?

I suppose someone will say I sound angry in a minute. That is the usual comment from someone when anyone challenges their views.

Rebeccaslicker · 03/01/2018 10:46

Ahhhh but your assumptions about kebabs and pizzas weren't at all condescending. Got it.

Sorry but I feel really sorry for you. You clearly didn't do it right at all. Probably for the best that you moved.

nevereverafter · 03/01/2018 10:46

I think so - he went to a lot of effort to book somewhere you want to go

Umm, it was sweet but surely all he did was make a phone call or book online. That wouldn't count as a LOT of effort. 😂

It would be too late for me too. I like staying up late but I don't like eating out late.

froginapond · 03/01/2018 10:47

Most people do not START a 3 course meal at 10pm.

Fact.

Keep pretending it happens all the time if it makes you feel better.

Doesn't make it true.

LemonDrizzleBun · 03/01/2018 10:47

9.45 is too late for me, to be sitting down in a restaurant. It'll be 10 before you've chosen and ordered. I'd feel rushed, even if I wasn't. If it was a very expensive place I'd have to change the booking so I could enjoy it more. That's just me though, if I eat that late it's a chocolate digestive and a cup of tea.

MsHarry · 03/01/2018 10:48

DH and I have had great nights where we've planned to eat then been having a lovely catch up and drink in a nice bar or pub and cancelled the booking and ended up in a curry house at 11.30. No digestive issues, other than alcohol and spice induced, were noted and we had Sunday to recover, no big deal. Relax!