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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to put up with one mum's faddy habits at nursery?

79 replies

empie · 24/04/2007 16:15

Ok, so DD is starting at a new nursery next week. I visited today and the sleep room was totally blacked out. I asked why, and it turns out that one mum insisted that it was blacked out so her little one, who has been brought up following a certain baby-rearing philosophy, can sleep. I happen to know this mum and her baby chucks major tantrums if she tries to get her to nap anywhere apart from a cot in a blacked out room.

I've brought my dd up being able to sleep anywhere, at any time, which is much more flexible for everyone and don't want her to get used to only being able to sleep in a dark room. Am I unreasonable for being peed that my good work is going to be undone just because of one mum!!

OP posts:
bobsmum · 24/04/2007 16:18

If your dd is a flexible sleeper - why will she be unable to sleep in a darkened room?

nailpolish · 24/04/2007 16:19

what would htey say if you told them your dd can only sleep with the light on?

say, if you were being really awkward...

Ladymuck · 24/04/2007 16:19

I probably wouldn't make a fuss, as after all it will be ony a few naps for you - you're not leaving her there 24/7. But if I was feeling narky then I'd possibly say something along the lines that your dd is used to a nightlight!

DeviousDaffodil · 24/04/2007 16:20

You are being unreasonable.

heiferCROCloather · 24/04/2007 16:21

yes you are.

I doubt very much that your DD is suddenly going to stop being able to sleep in a room which isn't blacked out because she sleeps for a few hours (if that) at nursery every day....

Some nurseries use black out rooms anyway for the sleep room.

Just think yourself lucky that your DD can sleep anywhere...

Original poster
empie · 24/04/2007 16:22

Cheers [hmmm] What I meant was, I don't want my DD to become like that mum's DD and to only sleep in a quiet dark room! I have always made the distinction between daytime and nighttime sleep!

OP posts:
DeviousDaffodil · 24/04/2007 16:23

Well you are being as rigid as the other Mum then , sorry.

mrsjohnsimnelcake · 24/04/2007 16:25

sorry, agree with the others- unreasonable! guitly as charged

Original poster
empie · 24/04/2007 16:25

Ah well. I did ask!

OP posts:
TeeCee · 24/04/2007 16:27

But if it's only at nursery she won't get used to only sleeping in a darkened room. And if this other kids can only sleep in a dark room then whyt begridge her a darkened room?
I think a blacked out room is a fab idea nd I'd think all children will nap better there in the day.

DeviousDaffodil · 24/04/2007 16:27

That'll learn you!!!

Caligula · 24/04/2007 16:37

I think your best revenge is to patronise the other woman. "Oh you poor thing, it must be a nightmare to have to have black out blinds. Of course, mine can sleep anywhere. "

It will really irritate her.

TeeCee · 24/04/2007 16:45

Yeah and if she's sleep deprived and you use that smug line maybe she'll just punch your lights out. Pardon the pun!

DeviousDaffodil · 24/04/2007 16:47

Just accept that all Mums have different wyas of doing things.
That works fo her.
It wouldn't work for you.
there is no right or wrong way.

chocolattegirl · 24/04/2007 16:57

Sounds like a good idea to me to put the babies down in darkness (I keep threatening to get blackout blinds for my DD's room as we'll be getting sunrise about 5am soon and she is seven this year so will be getting up far too early again ). I did read somewhere that babies should sleep in a darkened room as it helps them to go into a deeper sleep which in turns helps their brains get wired up.

I may have imagined this in a fog of sleep-deprivation .

3andnomore · 24/04/2007 16:58

YUp unreasonable...sorry....I mean, when you are at home you jsut do it as you always do, and there shouldn't be a problem...afterall, your child can sleep anywhere/anytime...so, a darkened room isn't going to challenge her, is it?

belgo · 24/04/2007 17:00

it sounds to me like another case of 'my child sleeps better because I'm such a great mum'

and that really annoys me.

PrettyLittleHead · 24/04/2007 17:02

i've read that they need to be in a light room during the day so that they make the distinction between the long and short sleeps. don't know if it's tue, just countering chocolate's 'i've read somewhere'.

you are being a leetle smug, imho.

JodieG1 · 24/04/2007 17:07

I subscribe to the belief that blackout blinds aren't great because then the baby/child doesn't have a natural wake/sleep rhythm. I prefer them to wake naturally with the light in the morning and have light throughout the day. I have no proof this does any good but with all the SAD sufferers (and I'm affected mildly myself) it can't help not having natural light for children.

Quasi · 24/04/2007 17:08

Well if yours can sleep anyhow and her can't, then what's the problem? Yours is only there max 5 days.

sunnysideup · 24/04/2007 17:14

If it were me I'd be glad that the nursery were providing a suitable and restful environment for my child to rest at nursery, which is a hectic and exhausting place for young children.

I'm afraid I think YABU as you have no reason to suppose this will adversly affect your child and is only something that is child centred and age appropriate.

belgo · 24/04/2007 17:17

My dc's nursery has black out blinds, and we don't at home. I trust their experience to know what is best.

Sometimes though, when the dc are wide awake at 5am on a summer's morning, really wish we had black outs!

BirdyArms · 24/04/2007 17:18

I think that you are being unresonable and so is the mother of the other child. When DS1 went to nursery he had been used to sleepingin a darkened room but got used to sleeping on a mat in front of huge uncurtained windows v quickly. But if I told him to sleep on a mat in the middle of the sitting room at home he would think that I was having a laugh. Children seem to be able to keep different rules and behaviours at home and nursery separate.

PeachyChocolateEClair · 24/04/2007 17:23

Jodie I think you're right, my ASD eldest has melatonin as he lacks the brain chemical (melatonin) that reacts to the darkness and therefore soen't sleep much, so I agree that light / dark balances are important.

TBH empie I'd leave it. Or if I was really mean ( moi?) decide that my child has a fixed routine whereby she only eats snacks beginning with the same letter as the day, or something equally vapid. See how they react LOL!

LittleEgg · 24/04/2007 17:34

Aherm. I am a mum with "faddy habits". My DS sleeps with a blackout blind. If it helps him sleep, then I don't see a problem. If he sleeps more, he is happy, and if he sleeps more, I sleep more, and then I am happy. Surely a good thing?

I wouldn't ask a nursery to install blackout blinds for my DS though, just would be inwardly worrying that he wouldn't sleep, but am sure he would, and if not, well hey, it would be the nursery staff that got stuck with him yelling.

But, as others have said, if you are so fortunate that your DD can sleep anywhere, anytime (what REALLY anywhere, anytime?), then why on earth do you care if she sleeps in a darkened room at nursery? Surely she will adapt marvellously?????????