To not want to put up with one mum's faddy habits at nursery?

[empie]

Ok, so DD is starting at a new nursery next week. I visited today and the sleep room was totally blacked out. I asked why, and it turns out that one mum insisted that it was blacked out so her little one, who has been brought up following a certain baby-rearing philosophy, can sleep. I happen to know this mum and her baby chucks major tantrums if she tries to get her to nap anywhere apart from a cot in a blacked out room.

I've brought my dd up being able to sleep anywhere, at any time, which is much more flexible for everyone and don't want her to get used to only being able to sleep in a dark room. Am I unreasonable for being peed that my good work is going to be undone just because of one mum!!

I agree with birdyarms - ime your child is meant to fit in with the nursery to a certain extent, and most children seem to be able to do this... The nursery should adopt a policy that suits most children.

I'd love it if our nursery had blackout blinds, personally...

My experience is the same as birdyarms - dd sleeps at home in a blackout blinded room, it gives us a few hours more sleep in the summer! - at nursery, they draw the curtains but it is a very lightweight curtain and she will sleep there quite happily. Children are v. flexible.

What's faddy about blackout blinds, anyway?

These threads are actually 'I am being unreasonable aren't i?' threads didn't you know that Empie?

And quite how is the nursery having blackout blinds going to hurt your baby? If she can sleep anywhere then she can sleep in a room with blackout blinds, surely?

A lot of nurseries put babies to sleep in dark rooms. If you don't like what this nursery does (whatever their reason for doing it) then change nurseries to one which doesn't work that way.

Your good work is going to be undone?

Or your luck at getting a baby that sleeps anywhere is about to run out?

YABU. If your DD sleeps anywhere anytime then it won't make any difference to her, surely??

I think i understand your concerns and i too hate those parents ( you know who you are) who thrust themselves into the limelight of every situation.

I think you should kick her in the fanjo

who ARE you emankcin?

i cant believe the nursery have done this solely for one mother though they must have done it before some kids dont like being in the dark so others must of complained too dont think you are reasonable think that a bit strong

my 8 yr old can only sleep in a dark room,as can i.You are lucky with yr child,I just don't see how this is anything to be bothered about 4 u,if the majority couldn't sleep in the dark then they wouldn't do it.Also,fail to see how this makes the mother someone who pushes herself into the limelight??? I presume th echild wasn't settling at nap time ,they asked the mother about it and then it was decided to try blackout,if the majority of parent sdidn't want it they wouln'yt do it.

but nickname or not, who is she, ll?

Okay, so I'm being unreasonable, which is quite nice really because I am always far too reasonable I think But putting the sleep issue to one side, could I just add in my defence please, that this particular mother has bought HER OWN blackout blind in and fixed it at the nursery window? Is that not at all faddy?

And couldn't nursery take it down again on the days her DD isn't in nursery? (they are only there 2 days?)

Yay! Sympathy! I love you! . I'm not battling, just holding this secret opinion that she is BU not me because she expects everyone else to bend over backwards to keep her precious DD happy, whereas (I imagine) if I had not known what I know and just assumed that this was how nursery was, I wouldn't have an issue x

I can understand you annoyance. It's about 'look at me, look at me' other mother isn't it?

we have a blackout blind in dd's room but we only pull it down for night time so the sunlight in these summery months doesnt wake her up at 5am but for her daytime nap she just has thin curtains drawn across so she has a nap and wakes up in natural light - it works with us and we have had no problems taking her to sleep elsewhere (hotels, holidays etc)

I dont think you are being unreasonable at all, you want your little one to continue to be able to sleep during the day without a black out blind.

The nursery should remove it, is it fire safe etc are there not regulations for nurseries as there are for schools, hospitals etc?

I agree that the other Mum is a "look at me" type. The nursery my children went/go to did not even have a seperate sleep room. It would have made it a bit incovenient for the babies who were not asleep and for the carers to be in darkness.

You're being unreasonable, especially as the black out blind is an existing fixture and your DD hasn't even started there. Your DD will sleep anywhere (including in a dark room), this child will only sleep in a dark room. Is it fair to insist that this child does not have a nap just so you can avoid the unlikely event of your DD losing the ability to sleep anywhere??

I don't know where the other mum being a 'look at me' type has come from - has she gone around telling all the other mothers in the nursery that she must have a blackout blind for her child? You got that from the nursery staff, right, not from her directly? How is that 'look at me' behaviour?

If anything I'd say the OP is far more of a 'look at me' type for being all 'my child sleeps anywhere, anytime, which is much more flexible for everyone' - if my child had sleep issues that would annoy the bejesus out of me....

So someone whose child can only sleep in the dark quietly talks to the nursery and gets agreement from the nursery that she will pay for and provide and fix a blackout blind. So the room is quite dark and her child can sleep. NObody suffers, her child sleeps well, and everyone sleeps better if the room is dark. You are the only person kicking up a fuss, no?

My son could only ever sleep in his bed and was very upset at having to sleep in his pushchair or anywhere really. He has Aspergers. I find it really horrible they way you talk about this baby 'chucking major tantrums' as if it is somehow defective compared to your model infant.

I think you are being unreasonable. Most of the nurserys that I visited have blackout blinds. It is the norm. This has no detrimental effect on your dd at all.
Can't see what the problem is really. Apart from the fact that you seem very bitter towards this 'faddy woman'.

Good for her buying the blind herself, bless her. What on earth is wrong with that? And what's wrong with sleeping in a darkened room in the middle of the day? I'd imagine most children would sleep better in the dark during the day esp during the summer. Nice and dark and shaded and cool.

Keep your dd's lights on a night, open her blnds, whatever, so that she can sleep under any conditions and then everyone's happy, no??

It seems like there might be more to this situation than one parent being annoyed by the arrangements made by another - have there been any arguments or disagreements in the past?
If not, then really, life is too short to start criticising other parents for these sorts of things, and if your child is not being made to do something they can't do, or are uncomfortable with (ie: sleep in a darkened room), then it is unreasonable to complain to the nursery.
Parenting is a long and rocky road - it would make sense to support this mother now, as you may need her support in the future.