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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to put up with one mum's faddy habits at nursery?

79 replies

empie · 24/04/2007 16:15

Ok, so DD is starting at a new nursery next week. I visited today and the sleep room was totally blacked out. I asked why, and it turns out that one mum insisted that it was blacked out so her little one, who has been brought up following a certain baby-rearing philosophy, can sleep. I happen to know this mum and her baby chucks major tantrums if she tries to get her to nap anywhere apart from a cot in a blacked out room.

I've brought my dd up being able to sleep anywhere, at any time, which is much more flexible for everyone and don't want her to get used to only being able to sleep in a dark room. Am I unreasonable for being peed that my good work is going to be undone just because of one mum!!

OP posts:
frances5 · 25/04/2007 16:23

We use a blackout blind with my five year old son. Provided your child isn't terrifed of the dark I can't see a problem. If it was me I would insist on a night light. I think it would be really cruel putting a baby in a pitch black room if they aren't used to it.

I am not a fan of a certain baby-rearing philosophy, but blackout blinds are great in summer.

bundle · 25/04/2007 16:24

my dd's really benefited from the sleeping routines at nursery - I was a bit hopeless tbh and a few weeks after they started they were in a routine which lasted till they were 2-ish. the room had the curtains drawn but definitely not dark and the children had no trouble getting to sleep. I think it's a rod for their own backs, tbh.

Aloha · 25/04/2007 16:25

My son could never sleep at nursery! It was far too light. He'd cry and beg them to turn the lights out. IME blackout blinds cannot make a room pitch dark in the daytime anyway. Just darker.

belgo · 25/04/2007 16:29

the nursary are probably quite grateful to her for buying the blind and putting it up. Saves them the bother.

bundle · 25/04/2007 16:30

the curtains at home in my girls room do make the room very dark which is useful at this time of year. I think the quality of sleep during the day is different and have never been bothered about blacking out the room then, though I would normally at least half close the curtains. dd2 never slept in the day from about the age of 2 but dd1 had a nap every day until she was about 3. i spose they're all different.

Oblomov · 25/04/2007 16:36

Besides, this is all nonsense. Black out blinds make minimal difference, really. The room would not be pitch black and frightening.
Perspective ?

TeeCee · 25/04/2007 16:44

Exactly it wouldn't be pitch black, just nice and dark enough to get a decent kip in the middle of a blinding sunny day. If your child can sleep int eh dark or the light what on earth is the problem? Bet she'll sleep for longer and be better rested in a dark room than a bright sunny one anyway.

Oblomov · 25/04/2007 16:50

I think empie must be getting the picture.

TeeCee · 25/04/2007 16:51

I don't think she is:

By empie on Wed 25-Apr-07 11:40:36
Yay! Sympathy! I love you! . I'm not battling, just holding this secret opinion that she is BU not me because she expects everyone else to bend over backwards to keep her precious DD happy, whereas (I imagine) if I had not known what I know and just assumed that this was how nursery was, I wouldn't have an issue x

belgo · 25/04/2007 16:51

It is ununsual though for a mother to go to a nursery and put up black out blinds. Most parents just accept what is at the nursery, or choose another nursery.

belgo · 25/04/2007 16:52

But I don't think that is 'bending over backwards'

TeeCee · 25/04/2007 16:53

Well her DD may have real sleep issues and she may be a bit of a fussy type who worries a bit. Doesn't really matter that it's not the usual thing does it? I'd be grateful she thought of it if my DD shared a nursery with her DD.

Fillyjonk · 25/04/2007 17:02

"I've brought my dd up being able to sleep anywhere, at any time.."

now

this is your first child, yes?

no offence but...I'm right, aren't I?

IME babies are sleepers or not, end of.

LittleEgg · 25/04/2007 17:36

Has this thing kicked off yet?

Woohooo. Lots gone on since I was last here.

Original poster
empie · 25/04/2007 17:43

Okay, if I had marched into nursery and said my dd only sleeps during the day with the curtains open and therefore all the other babies have to as well, you'd be flaming me for being unreasonable, wouldn't you?

So, how is this different when it's in reverse?

It's not about the blind per se, although maybe that's how it started out - but it's about the principle - I wouldn't dream of foisting my dd's habits on other children, I'd expect her to get used to whatever all the other kids do at a public nursery, and I'm sure the vast majority of you are the same. She will now have to get used to sleeping in the dark during the day, that in itself isn't a big deal, but the fact that it's only because of one mum is.

And in terms of major tantrums Aloha, I do sympathise with your situation but I was not referring to your child and therefore did not intend to cause you offence so sorry if any was taken.

I wonder what % of the flames are from parents who are just peed off because I dared to mention that my child is a good sleeper? Is that some major crime? I never said she was perfect in every way, did I? Would it make you all feel better if I said she is a horror at mealtimes!! Jaysus....

OP posts:
Original poster
empie · 25/04/2007 17:43

Littlegg, yeah

OP posts:
bobsmum · 25/04/2007 17:48

Empie - it really won't be in the dark. As others have said, black out blinds do not make a room dark. I have a specially fitted black out blind for my dd's room. In order to make it dark I also have curtains with black out linings and 5 or 6 towels an blankets stuffed down the sides and along the top of the curtain rail. With all that in place it's dim, but not dark - dd (22 months) wakes up in the morning and talks about the "lights in her room" meaning all the light streaming through the non covered bits of the window. Short of boarding up a window; 'blacking it out" is a physical impossibility. Don't worry.

FWIW my dd can sleep anywhere when she's tired, but always longer and more deeply if not in bright daylight. That's true for me too tbh. That's why I have curtains in my bedroom.

Fillyjonk · 25/04/2007 17:51

you said you'd brought her up to sleep well

like thats possible

no, you're lucky.

SoupDragon · 25/04/2007 17:52

If you don't want opinions that are contrary to your own, dont post in the "Am I being unreasonable" topic or, infact, on Mumsnet at all because opinions is what you'll get!

Original poster
empie · 25/04/2007 17:54

I don't mind opinions opposite to mine, if I did I wouldn't have posted in the first place, but I am entitled to get a bit mardy when they start to feel like I'm being got at!

OP posts:
newgirl · 25/04/2007 18:11

it will change as your littlie gets older - they tend to have sleep rooms when babies and then they are on the floor on mats when toddlers! its very cute - they all lie down together and fall asleep - freaky but true!

Oblomov · 25/04/2007 18:18

God I love that bit newgirl, like sardines - only in a nice way.

paulaplumpbottom · 25/04/2007 18:21

I wouldn't worry, you said your dd is a flexible sleeper so I doubt it will affect her sleeping patterns

frances5 · 25/04/2007 18:42

empie, you haven't been flamed. All that has happened is that people disagree with you.

Even if your child is nursery full time she still spends most of her life with you. You spend more time with her than nursery nurses do.

Anyway your child will out grow day time naps before you know it ... lol!

belgo · 25/04/2007 18:42

empi - I didn't get annoyed when you said your dd was a good sleeper. But I did get annoyed at your implication that your dd is a good sleeper because of the way you've brought her up - it just seemed, well, a bit smug

I agree with Filly, that it's largly down to luck how well your child sleeps.