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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU paying for cancelled holiday

102 replies

Tinkerbec · 02/01/2018 11:42

We had booked as a group(6) to go on holiday paying a deposit. The deposit for the group was £1200.

My friend and her partner have split up and he thinks everyone should lose their money. She thinks they should pay £1200.

It is a lot of money to lose but we no longer want to go if they aren’t. I am not sure whether I should just let my £200 go. Well £400 for myself and partner.

Who is BU?
Also have you lost any money on holidays ? It seems that some things are beyond insurance control.

OP posts:

cardibach · 02/01/2018 11:45

Why can’t your friend come without her partner? Come to s9me arrangement about the payment for the missing person or fill the place with another friend? At least that way you all get a holiday, even if you have to pay a little more.

Lastoftheusernames · 02/01/2018 11:47

You could still go. If you decide not to go then you'll lose that money but it's your choice. It would be a nice gesture if the split couple paid more but I don't see why you don't just go.

Kochicoo · 02/01/2018 11:50

I think if you booked as a group and they're the ones changing the plan (albeit understandably), they should pay the deposit.

19lottie82 · 02/01/2018 11:52

Why can’t you all still go without her partner? Seems odd for 5 people to cancel just because someone has split with her boyfriend.

GreenTulips · 02/01/2018 11:53

Have you spoken to the tour operators? You may find they can come up with a solution -

Who's the other 2 people?

flowery · 02/01/2018 11:54

”Seems odd for 5 people to cancel just because someone has split with her boyfriend.”

Yes, this.

theymademejoin · 02/01/2018 11:54

I don't see why the couple who split up should pay the full amount. After all, you can still go without them. It's a bit insulting to the third couple (presume there is one as it's 1200 deposit and 400 per couple) to say you don't want to go if the couple who have split up aren't going.

The only situation where I would see it acceptable to expect them to take a bigger hit would be if you had booked a villa or similar based on 6 people so the holiday would then be more expensive for the others.

Tinselistacky · 02/01/2018 11:54

Tell your friend she has x weeks to find someone else to take. Doesn't have to be a dp surely?

kaytee87 · 02/01/2018 11:54

Why can’t you all still go without her partner? Seems odd for 5 people to cancel just because someone has split with her boyfriend

Exactly what I was going to say

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 02/01/2018 11:54

What about the other couple (not you, and not the split couple)?

SleepingStandingUp · 02/01/2018 11:55

Agree with above. Why cant she come? He loses his money and the rest of you reshuffle the cost?

I do think if it your choice to not go then you are responsible for losing your own deposit. If the holiday simply isnt affordable unless split 6 ways then replace him with a friend

yorkshapudding · 02/01/2018 11:57

I don't see why the couple who have split should have to pay the full amount. The other two couples could still go and have a good time but you're choosing not to.

yorkshapudding · 02/01/2018 11:59

I can understand why your friend (the one who has just split from partner) isn't going. Who wants to go on holiday with two couples when they're going through a breakup? Well, maybe some people but I know I wouldn't. Don't understand why the other four people aren't going though.

19lottie82 · 02/01/2018 12:01

The OP doesn’t say it’s with 2 other couples.

Ashamedandblamed · 02/01/2018 12:03

Today 12:01 19lottie82

The OP doesn’t say it’s with 2 other couples.

6 people so I think people have presumed it's another
Couple.

Tbh he sounds like an arse no wonder they split. Don't see why the 5 of you cannot go.

ReanimatedSGB · 02/01/2018 12:04

Is this a matter of your friend's dumped partner trying to make trouble for everyone else? It's not a decision he gets to make on his own. The other four of you should discuss it - you might be able to get one/two other people (if your friend doesn't want to come now) to take the empty places, or you might want to pay a bit extra and just the four of you have a holiday.

yorkshapudding · 02/01/2018 12:08

You're right, 19lottie don't know why I made that assumption.

nevereverafter · 02/01/2018 12:08

Are you absolutely sure there is no alternative? What percentage of the holiday is the deposit? I think it makes a difference if it's a small or large percentage.

Also is it one booking or three bookings? Can they just cancel their bit or not?

BewareOfDragons · 02/01/2018 12:09

I don't understand why your friend still can't come, and possibly find another friend to take her now exs' place.

Unless it means no one can afford the increased costs if it's split potentially between only 4 people ... or 5... ?

Snowdrop18 · 02/01/2018 12:09

I find it bizarre that you wouldn't go if they aren't going

That's your choice surely, so whoever makes that choice has to forfeit their deposit?

Lweji · 02/01/2018 12:12

Why don't the remaining four people want to go if this couple doesn't?

He is right in that it's your decision not to go as a group, not theirs, although it's a somewhat selfish opinion.
She seems generous to want to pay the whole deposit. (I'm guessing she's leaving a bastard based on this)

Wouldn't you be able to find another two people (a couple) or just go with one of them? Would going with just one be seen as picking sides? If I had to pick sides, I'd choose the generous one, BTW.
When is this holiday? Couldn't it work out as a support for the person going through a break up? If they are all couples, are you all so lovey dovey that a single person would feel bad being around you?

expatinscotland · 02/01/2018 12:14

Why can't she bring someone else? What does everyone else think?

WhyamIBoredathome · 02/01/2018 12:15

Possibly op can't still go because if you book a villa for 6 then only 4 go you still have to pay the entire cost therefore making the holiday a lot more expensive?

flowery · 02/01/2018 12:18

”he thinks everyone should lose their money”

Really? Are you sure he doesn’t think everyone should still go on the holiday and if you choose not to just because he’s split up with your friend that’s not a decision he should fund?

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 02/01/2018 12:20

Not really understanding why everyone has to miss out and lose their money because of this.

As everyone else has suggested, why doesn't just one of them come? And either you all agree to split the rest of the costs between 5, or you see if anyone else wants to come along?

I guess a lot depends on how much the rest of the holiday is going to cost you all, and whether losing £200 each at this stage would be better than having to pay out huge amounts more than you originally expected to.

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