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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU paying for cancelled holiday

102 replies

Tinkerbec · 02/01/2018 11:42

We had booked as a group(6) to go on holiday paying a deposit. The deposit for the group was £1200.

My friend and her partner have split up and he thinks everyone should lose their money. She thinks they should pay £1200.

It is a lot of money to lose but we no longer want to go if they aren’t. I am not sure whether I should just let my £200 go. Well £400 for myself and partner.

Who is BU?
Also have you lost any money on holidays ? It seems that some things are beyond insurance control.

OP posts:
Lweji · 02/01/2018 12:22

Possibly op can't still go because if you book a villa for 6 then only 4 go you still have to pay the entire cost therefore making the holiday a lot more expensive?

But if you book a villa it's even easier to replace the couple with someone else.

I do think it would make sense for one of the splitting couple to go.

Do they even need to decide now? Could they wait a bit longer?
Is the deposit 100% non-refundable?
When is this holiday?

OP, we need answers.

Bluntness100 · 02/01/2018 12:24

I'm also not sure why everyone has to cancel and your friend can't still come.

As the friend I'd offer to pay it all, but I think everyone should lose their money as you can all still go, it's your choice to cancel also.

KatharinaRosalie · 02/01/2018 12:29

If the split up couple cancelling means the rest of you want to go, but due to this cannot go, then yes fair to expect them to cover deposit.

If the rest can still go but simply decide not to then everybody covers their own costs.

Original poster
Tinkerbec · 02/01/2018 12:29

They are trying to work through it so they don’t want to go without each other.

We don’t really know the other couple that well.

I would rather go alone. I think.

Agggh I could have blew £400 on champagne.

OP posts:
Lweji · 02/01/2018 12:32

They are trying to work through it so they don’t want to go without each other.

When is this holiday, then?

And if they are trying to work through, wouldn't the holiday be a good environment to work through it?

It's really hard to figure out any advice without proper relevant information.

And if you don't know the other couple that well, couldn't you get to know them better, or just decide to do your own thing during the holiday?

JessieMcJessie · 02/01/2018 12:34

How does one person going on holiday without the other stop them from “working through it”?

MissDuke · 02/01/2018 12:34

Either you still go, or you all lose your own deposit. Of course they don't have to pay for everyones lost deposit, it isn't their fault no one else wants to go without them! When is the holiday? If they are trying to work things out, can you not just hang on for now, or is further payment due now?

It doesn't matter if you don't know the other couple well, you can still do your own thing once there. It is an awful lot to lose out on just because you don't want to go without the split couple, surely you and your partner would still have fun.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 02/01/2018 12:35

Oh I agree with you now. Sack the whole thing off.

A couple who are "split but trying to work things through" - tedious beyond belief for everyone else, regardless of which way things go - and a couple you don't know very well? Nope.

Holidays with others are hard enough when you all know each other well and get on well! Nightmareish otherwise, IME.

Flomper · 02/01/2018 12:37

why cant you all go and she brings a friend?

Ginkypig · 02/01/2018 12:41

I understand why they wouldn't be up for it and can also see why you wouldn't as the split couple sound like they were the middle between everyone else who don't know each other very well but I feel very sorry for the other couple involved in this.

They are on the receiving end of 4 others so everyone else dropping out.

SleepingStandingUp · 02/01/2018 12:43

Tbh I'm just a bit jealous you cab afford to walk away from 400 without a second thought

KatharinaRosalie · 02/01/2018 12:43

Can the third couple still go or is it all or nothing? Because it's really not fair for them to lose their deposit if they can't go because you and first couple have decided they don't want to any more.

TenancyTroublesAgain · 02/01/2018 12:53

You should still go!!! It's not like everyone apart from you dropped out. Even then I'd still go if I'd paid.

19lottie82 · 02/01/2018 12:53

I don’t think the couple who ate cancelling should have to pay everyone back for their deposit, they could still go, their just choosing not to.

Lweji · 02/01/2018 12:54

What does the third couple think?

DontCallMeCharlotte · 02/01/2018 13:00

We booked a hugely expensive (about £5000) trip of a lifetime with another couple who split up just before we went and neither wanted to go. They lost all their money as none of it could be refunded and we went without them.

sparechange · 02/01/2018 13:00

Is it an escorted tour type holiday or a regular package holiday?

If you don't know the other couple, it won't make much difference to you and your DP

You'll be on the same flight and potentially in the same hotel but there is no obligation to hang out with them or go for dinner with them. You can make 30 seconds of polite chit chat if you see them at breakfast and leave them to their day

Even if it's something like a skiing holiday, you don't have to hang out with them

Lweji · 02/01/2018 13:05

There's really no point speculating.

The OP isn't answering most relevant questions, even though they were about to post yet another barely useful post.

Butterymuffin · 02/01/2018 13:14

This is the downside of group arrangements I'm afraid. You either still go under the changed arrangements, or each of you loses your portion of the deposit. Don't see why one couple/person withdrawing means everyone has to do the same.

Hissy · 02/01/2018 13:14

Just GO on the holiday!! The splitting couple doesn't have to go and you don't have to be in the pockets of the other couple if you don't want to be.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 02/01/2018 13:15

sparechange - it's a villa. They'll be in the same villa.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 02/01/2018 13:16

God, I think I must be seeing things! I was sure I'd seen it was a villa in the OP, but it's not there - must have been someone else speculating.

Sorry Sparechange - as you were. :)

MyNewBearTotoro · 02/01/2018 13:16

I don’t think they should pay for anyone else’s deposit if you still have the option to go. If you now choose not to go because the group dynamic will have changed that’s your choice but not the split-up couples fault. You could still go and enjoy the holiday if you wanted to.

Allthewaves · 02/01/2018 13:21

Why can't four of you go

paniconthestreetsofdreams · 02/01/2018 13:23

Agggh I could have blew £400 on champagne.

Shock
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