To think it's really cheeky to remove Christmas flowers from the altar for your wedding

[user1485342611]

A good friend of mine is on the flower team for our local church. They did the altar up beautifully for Christmas. A wedding had been booked in the church for a few days after Christmas and they wanted to remove all the flowers and replace with their own arrangements. It was explained to the B&G that once the Church was decorated for Christmas it had to stay that way until 12th night.

The couple kicked up an almighty fuss and said there was no way they wanted red and white flowers on the altar during their wedding. Then, with no permission, they went into the church, removed all the Christmas arrangements from the altar and left them at the side of the Church. They then replaced them with their own flowers, and brought the flowers away with them after the wedding, leaving the altar (and the steps outside which were also decorated for Christmas) bare.

They told no one what they had done and when it was discovered my friend and her team (all voluntary workers) who had spent hours getting the Church ready for Christmas, then had to give up more of their time restoring the altar to the way it was. They were absolutely furious.

AIBU to think this was unbelievably cheeky and to also not understand why you would get married at Christmas time and then object to the Church being decorated in a Christmassy fashion?

Round of applause Seeingadistance

You’ve also clarified in my mind what I’ve found most irritating about this thread... not the B and G, because they’re clearly just entitled twats. It’s the people who’ve jumped on the thread with all their own preconceptions and prejudices and shown their complete ignorance.

And once again, this is nothing to do with personal beliefs/ lack of beliefs. I don’t attend church but count a couple of priests among my close friends and a couple more ministers in my wider circle. The priests I know favour disestablishment. However they operate with respect for the C of E as it currently stands, and I know they give a first class service to all those who choose
A church wedding whether regular attenders or not. It doesn’t mean they should have the piss taken.

And when people pop up making ridiculous statements like ‘the church should detach itself from the state if it wants to cover its costs of a marriage service’ then frankly they’re just displaying their ignorance.

"Some people find red and white flowers together unlucky

Some people believe in ridiculous superstitions - flowers are not lucky or unlucky."

It's interesting that in a thread where people have generally been respectful of faith, that long held superstitions like the one above about red and white flowers, has been dismissed by a few posters as straightforward incorrect.

People hold all sorts of different beliefs, including one that there is an invisible being that watches their every move (Christian belief in God). Why is it OK, and respected, to believe in an invisible being, but not to believe in the symbolism of flower colours?

If it is something you have been taught as a child and repeated many times, then it seems perfectly reasonable to want to follow this belief, whether that is as part of an organised religion or just in small ways in your every day life.

WildRosesGrow I had red and white flowers at my (non church) wedding so I definitely don't find them superstitious. I am also an atheist but can understand that some people believe in god and the church and therefore I would respect their beliefs if I was in their 'house' e.g. a church.

Surely if people are superstitious of those coloured flowers then they shouldn't book a church at the time they use them?

I actually agree with you that people are entitled to their beliefs, including 'superstitions', wildroses. I bet, though, that if this couple had actually contacted the flower arranging team when they were meant to and explained that this was a belief they held and it really bothered them, that they'd have been willing to find a compromise.

Weird! Churches always look beautiful at Christmas. If you don't want loads of holly, red and green etc don't get married at christmas,

I believe that the reason that there is a recommended donation instead of a fee is because churches are registered charities. Charities are not permitted by law to charge fees.

We were asked to pay such a donation for our wedding, which covered the cost of the church organist and the floral arrangements among other things, despite me being a church member. I was happy to pay the costs, they did a wonderful job. Tbh, I didn't particularly think about it as it was minimal compared with all the other costs.

The op gave examples where couples had contacted the flower team as told to, and the team went out of their way to accommodate their wishes where possible, or to agree on a compromise. So there’s every chance the team may have agreed to remove and replace the red flowers for the duration of the wedding, if they had known in advance to organise this

The Op also said that some
couples choose not to contact the team, and that’s fine too... could be genuine indifference, could be they’re really flexible and don’t mind what flowers the church has, or could be they recognise they’re saving several hundred ££ by not having to provide their own flowers.

The B and G in question did not contact the flower team by the agreed date as requested, so clearly weren’t sufficiently bothered to do so, but clearly they were sufficiently bothered to chuck out the church arrangements. I don’t understand how anyone can still be trying to defend their supreme arrogance and disregard for others

The B and G in question didnotcontact the flower team by the agreed date as requested, so clearly weren’t sufficiently bothered to do so, but clearly they were sufficiently bothered to chuck out the church arrangements. I don’t understand how anyone can still be trying to defend their supreme arrogance and disregard for others
This ^^

And yet people still try to defend the couple's entitled actions for reasons which escape me.