Calling people autistic (Title edited by MNHQ)

[Rossigigi]

This is only trivial to some but it's annoyed me to hell.

Ds13, has just started calling us all autistic, and using it when to refer to friends, e.g X is autistic.

So I just cornered him in the living room and said 'I do not like it when you call people autistic, it is disrespectful to those who are on the spectrum and their families.

He said 'why are you getting so triggered? I'm only joking!'

So I asked do you actually know what it is?

He said 'when people have difficulty in things like maths, they punch things when they are angry, and they can not behave properly in social situations because they do not understand emotions'

So I said, you've got some things right, however other things not
so much'

So we've had a conversation on what autism is, how it affects people differently and so on.

But I still feel really uneasy. I don't know where he has got it from? What else can I say to ensure he does not use this type of language in the future. I know this is minor to some people, but having worked for years with those who do have autism, this, has he would say has 'triggered' me!

It annoys me that disabilist, homophobic and sexist language aren't treated as seriously as racist language by schools.
Can confirm that "Special" and "Autistic" are insults here too. My teens would define a person with autism as Sheldon Cooper.

I will join any petition or awareness campaign highlighting the increase (in our oh so enlightened times 😐) of disablist terminology used. If it were racism, there’d be outrage.

Oh, and the term “retard” was brought out of the archives at ds’s school. The bullies using it were given “special measures” but nothing changed. Years ago, a pupil would have been hauled up in assembly and shamed for using such words. Now, nothing really happens we’re all so fucking PC about meeting the needs of “all” pupils. The girl who took a photo of my son and Snapchatted it with a cruel comment relating to his disability was “pardoned” because she had had a family bereavement months before 😡

Yes it is the insult of choice it seems. Along with homophobic insults, fat shaming, thin shaming, as a Pp pointed out kids teens have not changed at all.

That is awful Suki.

Then your teens would be wrong Jaime autism affects people on a spectrum and some people including my child have learning disabilities associated with their autism.

I've looked at my LA at incident and bullying report forms. There is a section about disablist language but most relates to race. Plus I'm sure that there is no policy that disablist language has to be reported - whereas racist language there is.

I don't know where to begin though? We'd have to do proper research into policies etc first?

Well OP how would you stop him using the N word as an insult? It’s no different. Honestly I dont think you’ve done a good enough job teaching him about disabilities & generally how to be a decent human being. If kids aren’t exposed to disabilities they disassociate themselves from the hate language they use. Get him to read the book “the reason I jump” it’s by a 13 year old autistic boy & it’s heartbreaking to read his story.

The word doesn't actually bother me. Or well, it could do if it's said in spite.
But me personally, Ds1 has autism. He is autistic. I have diabetes. I am diabetic.

Neither bothers me.

Thank you suki and yes he has an older sister who is very protective of him and has had to hear some horrible things already by children at her primary school. It just seems to get worse when they get older and learn newer more upsetting and degrading insults. Neither of them deserve this shit.

I’ve been told “he doesn’t look autistic” whatever the fuck that means. But he has such an innocent way of seeing the world and the cutest little cartoony sort of voice to go with his angelic little face (no really he does look like a rather tall cherub) I think people know he’s “different” pretty quickly. Trying to get him into martial arts if only to teach him to defend himself but with a set of rules he will follow so as to not get himself into trouble for it. He likes rules.

Oblomov18 But the op's son is using it as an insult towards people who are not autistic.

He isn't using it to describe an autistic friend/sibling.