To request no more of certain items?

[itsnosoap]

Only if asked what I want for future birthday/Christmas presents of course!

This Christmas I got three sets of Soap & Glory stuff (which I used to like but now makes me feel a bit queasy), two sets of 'cute animal' socks and two lots of Hotel Chocolat, of which I am not a fan. All gifts given by close family members.

WIBU to say I don't need anymore of these items, if asked what I would like in future? I will be donating it all to Women's Aid or a food bank, so it won't go to waste, and of course I was very grateful and thankful for the gifts. I just seem to get these items every year and it seems a bit daft to let it carry on.

As a PP has said, I'm amazed that so many families but gifts for other adults! It's absolutely unheard of in my (admittedly very large) extended family to buy Christmas presents for anyone over the age of 18! Between DH and I, we have 13 siblings and no parents. The only presents I've had for years have been from DH, and he from me. We even stopped buying for close friends a few years back when money got a bit tight. We spend a fortune on Christmas as it is, we'd spend double if we bought for all the adults too!!!

Early January birthday. I get generic gifts for women FOR MY MOTHERFUCKING BIRTHDAY TOO. More of them, because they’re bought in the sale so people tend to buy me a couple.

It’s lovely. People are lovely. But I’m one Cinnamon & Clove candle set away from birthday homicide.

I don’t know what can be done. Nothing, if you have a culture of gift giving and generous givers who will wrap a little something extra even if you’ve asked for something specific. You could let people know in October or so that they must have changed the formulation of soap & glory because it’s started to make you itch, or maybe it’s just you, so probably best to avoid toiletries this year - but you’d love a copy of their favourite book, or whatever.

I would want to know I was getting it wrong OP. I buy for probably 10 or so adults, and if something seems to work (eg my friend has read both the novels I gave her already and is planning to buy the next in the series!) I remember the idea.

I've had great presents this year, only one was something I'd asked for, and no chocolate. I think I'm quite easy to buy for but maybe we all think that!

Everyone says I am difficult to buy for, my DM always used to ask what we needed but she died in April, everyone got money from my Dad this year. A couple of years ago my DD's (adult) bought me a Pandora bracelet and a charm each, they actually told me that this was so they knew what to buy me in future, so Mothers Day, birthday and Christmas I have had Pandora charms, it has 9 on it now and I hardly wear it, just on the days I add the new charms if I am honest. MIL/FIL are not well so my eldest DD did their shopping, guess what, I got a Pandora gift card! DH and I bought ourselves a new TV as our present to each other. I don't get presents from anyone else.

Can we set up a MN present exchange lol ! Clearly everyone something they don't want!

I have prosecco , soap and glory and shit loads of celebrations.

Would like to exchange for a puppy but open to suggestions

I have asked adult DCs for an Amazon voucher every year but no!...I get a dressing gown again...this time that's a small I am at the very least a Large/Ex Large
(it's probably one that's been regifted) and smelly skin stuff which I can't use as I am allergic to loads of stuff .....which they both know about.

For the past 5years I have actually said please don't get me anything as I have more than enough stuff...
But if you want I would love an Amazon voucher so I can get more books for my Kindle.

The daft thing is they wanted and I got them Amazon vouchers!

green apples platter which candles are nicer than Yankee please?

People got so spoiled and ungrateful
Unbelievable!
Even gifts have to be pre chosen, pre booked, pre agreed. Jesus!
If you are that ungrateful then just scrap all gifting all together! Buy your own jo malone (is that some wannabes indicator of "posh"??stuff) and there will be no need to moan.

MIL is a bugger for buying things she thinks you should have, rather than something you actually need. She'll ask what people want, but then often won't buy it because she thinks it's no good so why fecking ask????

She spends a fortune on things, then bangs on about the price. Last year she bought DP some aftershave, aside from the fact that he has a beard, he can't stand anything strong smelling, it irritates his nose, and often sets his chest off. She said two or three times 'eeesh you should see the price of that in the shops!!', when neither of us bit, she eventually told us it was £70. It was re-gifted this year to a friend who enjoys fancy after shaves. He'd asked her for a new pair of boots, drawn a circle around them in the catalogue she regularly orders from. They were £40 and he would have actually used them!! It baffles me! I know gift suggestions are just that, not a shopping list, but I just can;t get my head around the way she goes on. The waste of money makes me really uncomfortable.

Stuff for my house!! Why do ppl buy me things they would have in their house and expect me to display it in mine?! Would rather have a voucher, or a donation made to one of my face charities. PLEASE DON'T BUY ME STUFF FOR MY HOUSE, I DON'T TELL YOU HOW TO DECORATE YOURS!!!!!

Aftershave for a bearded man. Blissful.

BTW all scented candles, however pricey, make me cough badly five minutes after lighting. I had one that stank so strongly I had to leave it outside for a week in the wrapping and unlit. At that point it went to the charity shop.

I do feel entitled to clean air, sorry.

Oh, and another thing. I'd go fucking crazy if I got girly gifts, I do not do smellies or sodding Prosecco/gin, or fluffy things, nail varnish and curling tongs, or anything else advertised under 'Gifts for HER" in the Tesco/Asda/Sainsburys /Boots gift guides. I like beer, and rock music, and painting /diy. So there 😄

Amazon wish list. You can set up your ‘phone and computer to add things to it from other pages so you aren’t tied to just getting amazon stuff - particularly if people are funny about Amazons tax affairs.
Choose things Togo on the list that have a range of prices. You get what you want, no one ends up buying soap because they don’t know what you want.

This is why I bloody hate Christmas. People buying shite for each other and then they moan about it afterwards. Buy just for kids who love anything wrapped. Tell adults to just stop for eachother

Tempted to say it's ok but it's actually rude (unless it is to v close family).

My ex's family always, every single Christmas and birthday, gave me huge, chunky costume jewellery - reasonably expensive stuff from well-known boutiques, but still, chunky costume jewellery. Thing is, I don't wear chunky stuff. In a decade, they never saw me wear anything but a fine silver or gold necklace and small earrings. Yet still, every fucking Christmas and birthday I'd received at least 3 sets of large wooden beaded necklaces, gaudy bracelets and chunky rings. A couple of years ago I had a firm word with the 'matriarch' of the family and said I really think they should stop wasting money, as I only give it all away anyway. So now I get nothing. From any of them. Bliss .

Some of you sound so princessy honestly. If it's so awful to be given a present then please stipulate NO PRESENTS to people. And Rossigirl money isn't a present- buy your own jo malone set!

Meh, I have eczema yet half of my family insist on bath/body lotions and potions. Every year I tell them not to get me smelliest because I can’t use them. Every year I get ignored.
Also, I have a nut allergy. It is not a secret. My own father got me a selection of green and blacks chocolates, every single one contained nuts. It was a nut selection. Seriously? I could’ve cried actually. It just felt like he either really doesn’t care, or didn’t put an ounce of thought into it. This year I’ve given my sister a massive box of all the gift sets that I can’t use, and she was delighted. I keep the hand creams and the nicer looking body wash bottles for display purposes 😂

I stopped buying adults Xmas presents years ago. At the time, I was single and my three siblings all had partners, my sister had a little boy. So I was buying seven presents, only getting three back. I was spending twice as much, when I only had half the income. Also, the presents I was getting were shite. I was picking out any old shite for them, too - wherever there were extra Boots points, or special offers.

I ended up feeling really resentful of it and that's not what Xmas is about. So I just announced that I would not be buying presents one year, and didn't want any in return.

They were all a bit bewildered at first, that first year they all exchanged presents and couldn't really believe I hadn't bought any ..... But I had given £200 to charity instead. I had told them all I was doing it, months in advance. And then next year, guess what? An announcement from my parents that there would be no adult presents.

I am so relieved not to have to think about what to get everyone, to save the money, to not have so much crap cluttering up my house....... and in the end, everyone else felt the same way!

After years of getting/giving gifts that were not quite my/their cup of tea , all my family had a pow-wow about present giving.

We agreed on a maximum amount to spend on each other so that we wouldn't go overboard. We also agreed to set up Amazon wish lists ahead of time. Can't tell you how easy it has made Christmas and birthday shopping! You just have a look at the items they have selected (you can even mark them as high/medium/low priority) and you pick the ones you fancy getting them. It takes all the guesswork out of 'do they have this book already?', 'do they like this brand of toiletries?', etc.

A couple of clicks and job done. Once you buy them, the items disappear from the wish list so you don't get doubles bought. I have about 40 items on my wish list (some of them have been on there for years, but I still want them!) There are so many that I genuinely forget what it on there and I get a real surprise when the gift arrives.

It makes it much easier to buy for those tricky customers; people often choose things for themselves that I would not have thought of buying them in a million years. I am really pleased to buy them something I KNOW they want without having to schlepp around the shops for hours. And for birthdays, you can have it direct delivered to the recipient....you can even get it gift-wrapped for them.

My fil gets me advocaat every year, DH once told him I like a Snowball at Christmas - I don't (can't) drink and do tell him. We get on really well too, honestly.

I'd say. I had to tell DS no more teddies please (can't bear cuddly toys) - felt mean about it though, still do.

Yanbu.

It’s shower gel for me. I suppose it’s great that I’m not going to have to buy any for at least a year, but where am I meant to keep it??

I wonder if you might find the family is more amenable than you think to stopping adult presents. Find a neutral reason and stick to it. They really will get over it quite rapidly. Makes Christmas much more enjoyable.

In my family we do one secret Santa for all the adults. That's it. £10 max. We then give the gift of time and agree to do something together.

Very few people need all this stuff. I can't get beyond going to the recycling centre and seeing all the 'stuff' being thrown away. Now China has decided not to be the world recycling bin and won't be taking all our plastic waste, will the NIMBY's be wanting a landfill near them? All this unwanted stuff certainly takes the shine off Christmas for me.

I've had LOADS of bath stuff. (Bath salts, bath creme, bath bombs, you get the jist)

I don't even have a bath. just a walk in shower. People know this.