Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To request no more of certain items?

158 replies

itsnosoap · 31/12/2017 12:28

Only if asked what I want for future birthday/Christmas presents of course!

This Christmas I got three sets of Soap & Glory stuff (which I used to like but now makes me feel a bit queasy), two sets of 'cute animal' socks and two lots of Hotel Chocolat, of which I am not a fan. All gifts given by close family members.

WIBU to say I don't need anymore of these items, if asked what I would like in future? I will be donating it all to Women's Aid or a food bank, so it won't go to waste, and of course I was very grateful and thankful for the gifts. I just seem to get these items every year and it seems a bit daft to let it carry on.

OP posts:
Goldenphoenix · 31/12/2017 19:01

We all do Amazon gift lifts so we get something we like, works really well for us

1moremum · 31/12/2017 19:08

moving far far away and no longer exchanging gifts with anyone but my immediate family has its rewards. Overseas mail is not worth it for cousins and aunties to mail the generic sorts of gifts i see most mentioned here. I no longer get toiletries or cute socks or cute mugs or cute food items that i cant eat or anything packaged as a gift set. Dont miss them a bit.

I realise moving overseas isnt a practical solution for most people though. Xmas Grin

Rossigigi · 31/12/2017 19:14

That's where it bugs me. SIL's I bought them Radley purses, Jo Malone candles and brackets from Debenhams. In return- cheap bath set that smells like my great grandmother (when she was alive) would use and prosecco. I honestly don't give to receive. But they earn 4x's what I do, and I buy what I think they will like. I feel like I've just been bought what was at the end of the sales asle- in poundstetcher! I would rather they spend the money on my boys. (Rant over!)

fussychica · 31/12/2017 19:18

After some odd gifts from a couple of people last year we said no more gifts - think it was a relief for everyone!
This year gifts were just between DH, DS and myself and everything was wanted. Everyone happy, no money wasted, no returning stuff to shops.

Freshprincess · 31/12/2017 19:27

Running stuff - I only run twice a week, I've got all the stuff I need.
Size 16 clothes. I lost a lot of weight, everyone commented. Yet I'm still getting too big Clothes.

Mind you, I'm under no illusion that my stuff hits the spot every time (I once heard my niece asking my brother to put a skirt I'd just given her on eBay).

iamyourequal · 31/12/2017 19:28

My mil buys me horrendous stuff most years. This has included 36inch leg trousers ( I am 5 foot!). A size 14-16 belt, when I was a size 8-10(not now right enough!). This year was the worst. When asked what I would like, I suggested jewellery, and then worried I sounded grabby I added ' not expensive I mean costume jewellery or whatever it's called'. I got two shocking big elaborate neck chockers a teenage supermodel would find hard to look good in. They look horrendous! I am a dumpy woman in my forties! Worse thing is she mutilates everything before giving so nothing can ever be returned to the shops as the tags are completely cut off etc. I don't want to sound ungrateful I just wish she would stop wasting her money on me.

Flomper · 31/12/2017 19:31

This is why you shouldn't buy christmas presents for adults, imo

doctorboo · 31/12/2017 19:34

We do secret Santa with the adults on DH's side and on my side we get vouchers from my parents and my mum always tells me what they'd like/appreciate.
You'd think this would mean no unwanted gifts but, even with putting suggestions on the Secret Santa list, I still get given off-list gifts or (despite everyone earning more than us) the cheapest version of things...I know this makes me sound extremely petty and ungrateful but how difficult is it to stick to a list and be thoughtful?

Papergirl1968 · 31/12/2017 19:35

I had loads of toiletries this year. B&H, Body Shop, you name it. I’m not wild about B&H but will use them. Saves on having to buy shower gel for a few months.
I really tried hard not to give toiletries this year, apart from some packs of small hand creams which are good for popping in handbags, desk drawers etc. And some gift packs of Tresemme hair stuff that were on offer in Superdrug!
To the pp who had lots of Impulse, I use these as air fresheners in the bathroom if we get overrun with them.

user1468353179 · 31/12/2017 19:35

I got a radley purse and handbag from my DH. I don't like them but I can't say anything.xxxx

Maryann1975 · 31/12/2017 19:44

I normally get a b and h gift set from sil. This year I engineered a conversation where I made it known that I had given lots of unwanted smellies to various charity events this year as I don’t use them and much prefer to be bought a particular scent of a particular brand of candle for a gift. I couldn’t have been more to the point of what I wanted her to get me. She has obviously taken part of the conversation in and got me a candle holder/tea light set in the right brand but wrong scent. I couldn’t have been more obvious, some people just like to give what they would like to receive. On the other hand, dh asks sil and her dh exactly what they want (normally books/DVD’s/cd type things) and we buy them exactly what they have asked for. So why can’t she do the same for us?

Andylion · 31/12/2017 19:53

Many people think online wish lists are bad manners, and amazon delivery can be costly.

My family uses Elfster to organize Secret Santa among all the adults. It’s clearly owned by Amazon as it links to their website, but you can also add links to other websites and companies. There was only one gift for each adult in the extended family gift exchange and I think everyone got something they truly wanted this year.

Bagsalot · 31/12/2017 19:55

Give all toiletries to hospice or women's refuge all chocs to food bank and unwanted alcohol to next charity raffle that asks for prizes and or school fete. Then request that in lieu of gifts next year a donation is made to a charity

Lovemusic33 · 31/12/2017 20:12

My DF(dad) has just brought my Christmas present over, I was really looking forward to his gift as he usually buys me something good and spends quite a bit. It was another boots 3 for 2 special, stuff I can not use Sad

Mollie85 · 31/12/2017 20:24

For my birthday in March, I mentioned I love Sanctuary’s range and mum got me the body lotion, two shower gels and the scrub- I’m no where near finished using all of that...

.... so come christmas I have those already in the process of being used and also .... Grin

At least I won’t have dry skin.
Until 2028 Grin

To request no more of certain items?
JustBeingJobless · 31/12/2017 20:24

One of the plus points of not getting anything is that I don’t have this problem Grin

Well, technically my dad paid for the cambelt to be changed on my car a couple of weeks ago in lieu of Christmas, but that wasn’t the most exciting present!

Swirlingasong · 31/12/2017 20:38

Who are you all exchanging presents with to end up so overrun with Impulse and Bayliss and Harding? I get presents from dh, our two sets of parents and my bf. Nothing is more than about £10-15 and we all generally end up with a small pile of books, toiletries we like or chocolate or other food treats. I often win toiletry sets at the school tombola and then donate them back for the next one. I dread to think how old some must be.

HappyAndRelaxed · 31/12/2017 20:41

I don't want any more
... soap/cream/body sets/regifted unwanted sets
... alcohol (I don't drink alcohol)
... boxes of plain biscuits
... Christmas themed rubbish household items such as tatty decorations or crockery.

Rossigigi · 31/12/2017 20:44

Still wish I'd just get money for my Jo Malone sets...............

Maelstrop · 31/12/2017 20:44

On the other hand, dh asks sil and her dh exactly what they want (normally books/DVD’s/cd type things) and we buy them exactly what they have asked for. So why can’t she do the same for us?

Simple solution, when DH asks what they want, he says at the same time, Maryann wants this and I want that. It’s not rude, it just makes sense.

Swirlingasong · 31/12/2017 20:46

Should point out that bf refers to best friend. Not boyfriend!

MrsGrindah · 31/12/2017 21:06

Hand cream! One year I got so much I thought I must look like a lizard! I have many many flaws but dry hands are not one of them ( and I never use the cream! )

Igottastartthinkingbee · 31/12/2017 21:14

I have had wash bags two years running from DSIL, how many does she think I need?! Anyway it'll be one for the school tombola.

We also do secret santa for the adults on DHs side of the family. Incomes aren't similar enough on my side to make it fair. And I don't think my parents could cope with the concept! They love to accumulate all kinds of crap to give at Christmas!

SleepFreeZone · 31/12/2017 21:17

Oooh I'd have loved a Neil's yard gift. You lucky thing. I always get given a Ted Baker toiletry set by my MIL abd I have to say I'm sick if it now 😬

Freshprincess · 31/12/2017 21:26

Mollie85 - my mum got me exactly the same thing! All wrapped up individually.

Wonder if Boots were having a Buy 1 get a shit load more free.