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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To request no more of certain items?

158 replies

itsnosoap · 31/12/2017 12:28

Only if asked what I want for future birthday/Christmas presents of course!

This Christmas I got three sets of Soap & Glory stuff (which I used to like but now makes me feel a bit queasy), two sets of 'cute animal' socks and two lots of Hotel Chocolat, of which I am not a fan. All gifts given by close family members.

WIBU to say I don't need anymore of these items, if asked what I would like in future? I will be donating it all to Women's Aid or a food bank, so it won't go to waste, and of course I was very grateful and thankful for the gifts. I just seem to get these items every year and it seems a bit daft to let it carry on.

OP posts:
yorkshapudding · 31/12/2017 15:39

Every Christmas, without fail, MIL buys me the following

Bayliss & Harding smellies (which bring me out in a rash)

A wooly hat and scarf/gloves that are pink/sparkly/animal print or all of the above (not my taste at all, she's known me for 15 years and has never seen me in anything like this)

A set of various fruity/herbal teas from Whittards (the only tea I drink is builders tea)

They generally get shoved in a cupboard until DD's preschool want donations for the Tombola.

Ragwort · 31/12/2017 15:44

but present-giving is a must on both sides of the family, and people would be really upset - why is present giving a 'must'? Confused.

You need to have a frank chat (not yet, but in a few months time) - say that present giving is getting out of hand and you would prefer either to stop exchanging gifts or have a charity gift.

If you can't face that discussion then just accept the gifts gratefully and pass them on .......... and how can you be sure that the gifts you give are always 'just right'?

Bookaboo · 31/12/2017 15:50

No more reed diffusers please!
I can't stand the over-powering indoor air polluting smell.

happymummy12345 · 31/12/2017 15:50

I always got impulse gift sets. I've lost count of how many tins of impulse body spray I've got to use, several all the same at that.
I politely said that I really don't need anymore of them.

bridgetreilly · 31/12/2017 15:52

Yes, but don't do it like my mother, who will say immediately on opening her present, "Thank you, this is nice, but don't get me any more like this."

Wait until the following year comes around!

somewhereitiswinetime · 31/12/2017 16:03

Why not suggest a family secret Santa ? We do it just for the adults and it works brilliantly. Name in a hat, all pick one. It might not stop all the soap and glory gift sets but cuts down on all the unnecessary gift buying as you are only buying for 1 person?

chanie44 · 31/12/2017 16:12

I've just bagged up a load of OHs jumpers for the charity shop. MIL keeps on buying them for him, even though they aren't his style and he doesn't wear them.

OH also gets a mug of his favourite football team, despite rarely drinking hot drink.

Ragwort · 31/12/2017 16:49

I volunteer in a charity shop - I love seeing all the unwanted presents that are donated! Some aren't even unwrapped !!

Motoko · 31/12/2017 16:51

This year I had a little party on 27/112 when I invited a few women who work for me and some friends and we all shared all my xmas gifts that were consumable - it was great fun

Actually that's a really good idea. You could have an "Unwanted Xmas Presents Party". Get your friends to bring along theirs, open the unwanted chocolates and fizz, lay out everybody's unwanted presents on the table and you can all take what you like, because what one person hates, another loves.

Anything left over can go to the charity shop/food bank/women's shelter.

Whitney168 · 31/12/2017 17:02

I wonder if there is anyone on God's green earth who actually wants bloody Baylis & Harding? It is definitely a theme on these threads every year ...

leccybill · 31/12/2017 17:03

The problem I have is that for DB and SIL, money is no object (fab jobs, no kids). They can buy themselves what they want, when they want.
So the £20ish gifts I buy them always look a bit meagre and cheap (even though they are not).

passemoilevin · 31/12/2017 17:06

God I'm so jealous. I got nothing, except a mug from my secret santa at work. Maybe I'll treat myself with the money I would have spent on a SO. Always feel guilty doing that though Confused

Maelstrop · 31/12/2017 17:18

Am I the only person to love Bayliss and Harding? Blush Admittedly I only like the bubble bath, bath bombs and shower gel, I immediately donate all the lotions. The DH normally can be relied upon to get me loads of smellies but failed miserably this year. He got me 4 mini bath bombs. Gutted. I bought myself some in the sale this week.

Maelstrop · 31/12/2017 17:19

God I'm so jealous. I got nothing, except a mug from my secret santa at work. Maybe I'll treat myself with the money I would have spent on a SO. Always feel guilty doing that though

Why would you feel guilty? You’re worth it. Get whatever you fancy.

LokiBear · 31/12/2017 17:40

My mum bought me three sets if Pyjamas. Felt a bit miffed when dh got a £50 voucher for his hobby.

SugarPlumFerry · 31/12/2017 17:48

Lindor chocolates 🤢 and prosecco.

Ragwort · 31/12/2017 17:49

Whitney - I chose a very nice B & H set as my present from my DH this year Grin. I genuinely love the packaging, it looks great in my bathroom.

Basecamp21 · 31/12/2017 17:55

No more Xmas presents at all please. Job done.

I cannot see the point in me spending loads of money on crap noone wants and getting crap I don't want in return.

We stopped adult presents a few years ago and Xmas is so much cheaper and less stressful.

We all buy ourselves an Xmas and birthday present instead.

Original poster
itsnosoap · 31/12/2017 18:12

Ragwort, it's a must because they love giving and receiving presents. Opting out, however I did it, would upset them. I'm sure I give unwanted gifts too, but I can't know unless told, can I?

OP posts:
SuddenBeetE · 31/12/2017 18:19

I only got one present this year, was a mug with hot chocolate and marshmallows in, from my MIL.

I’m diabetic and rarely drink hot drinks anyway.

DesignedForLife · 31/12/2017 18:30

Body butter. Does anyone actually use it?

DesignedForLife · 31/12/2017 18:33

Are women's refuges usually wanting fancy toiletries? People keep on buying me them and I can't use because of eczema. There's only so much floral Baylis & Harding I can inflict on DH.

Dozer · 31/12/2017 18:50

Many people think online wish lists are bad manners, and amazon delivery can be costly.

Lovemusic33 · 31/12/2017 18:57

Designed woman’s refuge will take toiletries, I get bought lots too and can’t use them. I do like body butter but only use one brand which is quite expensive so no one would ever buy me any.

Bellamuerte · 31/12/2017 18:59

I really wish the in-laws would stop giving us certain gifts repeatedly, but DH refuses to tell them we donate their gifts to charity every single year because he thinks it's rude and they'll get upset. Basically they're giving us stuff they'd like to receive, not stuff that we actually want. I'm not sure there's anything you can do about it?

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