Genuinely wondering if IABU. I was born in the Antipodes and English is my first language. DH's parents were from the subcontinent, but DH was born and raised in Hong Kong and English is his first language too, as he and his brothers were all educated in English, and his parents spoke English at home. He has lived here since he was 16 years of age. He also speaks his parents' language (let's say it's Hindi)? I speak a bit of Hindi (I had lessons for 6 months after we got married), but not enough to follow a conversation with anyone over the age of about 3! I am presently sitting next to him and he is on the phone to his brother planning an overseas trip. DH, our two DDs, BIL and I will attend the holiday (amongst others). I am periodically being asked for input (on activities, flight schedules etc). DH is speaking mostly in English . However, sometimes when speaking into the phone to his brother he is reverting to Hindi. His brother's first language is also English so there's no need to do this for comprehension reasons. I think DH is being a bit rude, especially as I can tell that he's referred to me at least once in Hindi. I don't know enough Hindi to follow exactly what he's saying. I've asked him to speak in English in this instance so I know what's going on as they are planning a trip which I will be involved in. He says I have no right to ask him to speak English in this instance. He was quite short with me. To be clear, he very often speaks Hindi to others in front of me, and that's fine (sometimes I ask him to translate so I can understand, but often I don't bother). But in this case, as I was involved in the conversation, I think he should agree to speak in English. This is particularity so as I can tell he's talked about me at least once and I think it's rude of him to do this if I can't understand what he's saying. His reaction has me wondering though if IABU?