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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think, what the f*ck????

122 replies

Dsmummy · 30/12/2017 18:56

I have an iPhone. My partner used to have and we shared a computer to update and all that stuff.
Been together 5 years, have two children together and he has an older son that lives with us 50/50.
I was just listening to my recordings of our little boy when he was tiny cooing and trying to talk. Then I stumble across 3 recordings of my partners whispering that must have merged with mine from the computer. For example:
"It's September 23rd. She's trying to say SS broke the baby gate just because he was upstairs near it at the time. I have photo evidence, repeat photo evidence of the break. She's saying it was him. Again, September 23rd"
And a couple more like that Blush
What in the hell?! Am I being unreasonable to think that's not normal behaviour

OP posts:
FoggieFishieCarpeDiem · 30/12/2017 19:34

It's September 23rd. She's trying to say SS broke the baby gate just because he was upstairs near it at the time. I have photo evidence, repeat photo evidence of the break. She's saying it was him. Again, September 23rd"

Who is SS? Social services?

But yes, very weird and v concerning.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 30/12/2017 19:36

He sounds more unwell than you thought. I’d be v worried.

FoggieFishieCarpeDiem · 30/12/2017 19:36

Oh, step son.

Ehm... still weird. Do you think this is MH related or is he gathering ‘evidence’?

Regularsizedrudy · 30/12/2017 19:36

He sounds like a bellend. What’s the point of him?

bobstersmum · 30/12/2017 19:36

Yeah I would say he sounds very paranoid, it's very odd you need to mention this to a friend or family. Can you ask his doctor do do a home visit?
I was once concerned about dh he was struggling with work and got very depressed and wouldn't go the docs, however I got his gp to come here.

Original poster
Dsmummy · 30/12/2017 19:36

SS is stepson, he's a young teen. I'm at a bit of a loss right now I'm so shocked. I've let things go in the past but I thought that weird stuff was gone.
(Emotional cheating very early on)

OP posts:
bastardkitty · 30/12/2017 19:37

There is nothing to suggest that you are not safe or that he is currently unwell or having a mental health crisis. You seem very light-hearted in response to his difficult behaviour though OP. I would be more concerned. I lived with someone like this for many years. He harboured real hatred for me, told a lot of lies about me during and after our relationship and refused to admit he has serious mental health problems. It was exacerbated by long-term alcoholism, but not caused by it. It's okay being creeped out but I think it would benefit you to be able to talk honestly and openly to a therapist about the reality of your relationship with this person.

ijustwannadance · 30/12/2017 19:38

Paranoid schizophrenic.

bastardkitty · 30/12/2017 19:38

Yes the cheating is very familiar too!

MonumentalAlabaster · 30/12/2017 19:39

he's gone all over the top and announced I'm single (a regular occurrence)

What does this mean?

bastardkitty · 30/12/2017 19:39

And please don't say any more to him about what you are thinking. Keep it to yourself for now.

DownTheChimney · 30/12/2017 19:40

Are all the recordings about your ss?

DoinItForTheKids · 30/12/2017 19:42

Yeah I didn't get the I'm single comment.

It does sound like some beginnings of paranoia possibly with the secret message recordings that he's making in secret and therefore more than a bit worrying.

Original poster
Dsmummy · 30/12/2017 19:45

Yes all about SS.
I know I sound light hearted but I suppose because I'm here with him day to day I know that he's really non violent and not got a really scary side.
I'm wise to his manipulative behaviour, it rolls off of me. It didn't used to. It's 90 percent great times, 10 percent not good. I do agree he needs to speak to song about 'depression'.
I once went out with someone that had bpd and I have noticed similarities in the past.
Maybe I've had my head in the sand or maybe I'm overreacting. I don't know.

OP posts:
Branleuse · 30/12/2017 19:45

bizarre. Hes trying to catch you out for something and doesnt trust you an inch.

Original poster
Dsmummy · 30/12/2017 19:46

Oh, the 'I'm single' is him saying that's it, we're over. Then a few minutes pass and he doesn't want to argue anymore so pretends it never happened almost

OP posts:
Insomnibrat · 30/12/2017 19:46

It does sound like a potential delusional symptom of something like paranoid schizophrenia, although none of us are right to diagnose that.
That and the 'you're single'. These aren't normal, healthy reactions and behaviours.
I don't know what to suggest but please be careful not to push him too far on this until you can get a medical opinion. (Even if you have to consult your own DR)

Homemenu1 · 30/12/2017 19:47

he's gone all over the top and announced I'm single (a regular occurrence)
Is this to stop you talking about the issue at hand, is he trying to deflect the problem by going over the top or therefore making it impossible to take about what had happened.
It's a way of pushing the blame around

Original poster
Dsmummy · 30/12/2017 19:47

Yes he's not s fan of taking blame lol

OP posts:
MissTeri · 30/12/2017 19:48

This sounds like my dad. He has bipolar disorder and he has paranoid episodes for which he's been hospitalised. He used to 'take notes' about lots of things as 'evidence' of him being slighted in someway (very much imagined). Be careful OP and watch for signs, be very alert. I don't want to alarm you but sometimes it can get quite serious quite quickly if someone isn't being properly medicated (or in my dads case when he decides he no longer needs them)! I've had to have my dad sectioned before for making 'weapons' (don't ask), I doubt he would have hurt one of the family but then it wasn't any of us he felt had slighted him - it's different in your case. If a stranger had knocked my dads door when he was ill and making that weapon I've no doubt he would have used it on them. Bizarre as it sounds, it would not have been done with a malicious intent but because he would have felt frightened and also felt justified given the other persons imagined behaviour towards my dad!

PieAndPumpkins · 30/12/2017 19:49

Sorry to clarify, but you approached your dp and asked him about the recordings, and he said 'you're single' - as in, you've broken up? That was his reaction to you asking him about these freaky af recordings? He needs to answer for them or I think you need to assume, yes, he's mentally unstable.

mumpoints · 30/12/2017 19:49

Is he talking about you? Did you say SS broke the baby gate?

Homemenu1 · 30/12/2017 19:50

The 'I'm single' thing Ive have done to me, it's removes the focus from what's he's done. Makes it a bigger issue, therefore making you to scared to bring up, in case he goes over the top again, thereby ensuring the issues of his behaviour is never discussed again.

Original poster
Dsmummy · 30/12/2017 19:52

Yes he's talking about me.
I think I'll have to sleep on things and talk when SS has gone back to his mums tomorrow. I won't risk arguing in front of kids.

OP posts:
PieAndPumpkins · 30/12/2017 19:52

Sorry x post. You might be wise to it, but are you really okay with it? You do sound flippant. His behavior doesn't sound like depression.

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