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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

That my husbands ex keeps contacting him?

88 replies

JustVent · 30/12/2017 18:33

They weee together 19 years ago, I met him 18 years ago when I was 17, and been together ever since. They were together for a year.

She calls him randomly despite never meeting since they met, when she is pregnant. Random times that ‘remind her of him’. Tonight because she is in the area and her husband isn’t.

She is married with kids. He is married to me with kids.

She contacts him once a year to meet up? He never had. It’s always in front of me, he always says no, I trust him

Why does she keep trying?

It’s fucking weird.

OP posts:
Littlechocola · 30/12/2017 18:34

Get him to say yes and you go instead

Iamclearlyamug · 30/12/2017 18:35

hahahaha yesss please do this ^^😂😂

Lovely333 · 30/12/2017 18:37

Yes do what littlechocola said Grin

TheweewitchRoz · 30/12/2017 18:37

Yes it's weird but at least your DH keeps telling her no.

Lovely333 · 30/12/2017 18:38

Another thought why doesnt he just block her?

Spartaca · 30/12/2017 18:38

He still has the same numbers etc?

gillybeanz · 30/12/2017 18:38

How old is your dh in relation to her.
Were they childhood sweethearts.
I think she's probably just trying to be friendly.
I also think about an ex at particular times, I haven't contacted him as the last time an ex contacted him, just as friends his wife gave her a bloody nose, some things are just not worth it.
I often think about him and it was never meant to be, and I have been with my dh for 30 years, married for 25.
I'd still love to meet up with him for a chat though.

WallisFrizz · 30/12/2017 18:40

What does your husband think of it. Why doesn’t he just not reply to her? She must feel that she is getting some encouragement to keep contacting him year in year out.

Original poster
JustVent · 30/12/2017 18:41

They aren’t childhood sweethearts they were 30.

OP posts:
PinkHeart5914 · 30/12/2017 18:42

I think some people just struggle to let go of the past, it’s sad really when you think about it.

Maybe she is a the grass is always greener type and wonders what life would of been like?

I agree it’s weird but I’d let her crack on tbh as she isn’t hurting

gillybeanz · 30/12/2017 18:45

maybe she just wants to be friends, I don't think it's weird.
Were you really with a 30 odd year old at 17?

TheweewitchRoz · 30/12/2017 18:48

Good spot Gilly!

Original poster
JustVent · 30/12/2017 18:49

Yes I was 17 and he was 30.

That’s not weird.

OP posts:
Original poster
JustVent · 30/12/2017 18:50

It’s been 18 years together and that’s “a good sport gilly”?

More like “Pointing Out the Obvious and Missing the Point.”

OP posts:
TheweewitchRoz · 30/12/2017 18:51

It is a big age gap though Op, especially when you're so young. (Not so big if you're 30 & he's 43 but when you're not yet an adult, that gap is significant).

Original poster
JustVent · 30/12/2017 18:53

I’m 35!! Are you blaming me for my husbands ex calling him?!

WTF?!

OP posts:
WallisFrizz · 30/12/2017 18:56

Where did you get that anyone was blaming you?

I still don’t know why your Dh engages though unless there is a genuine friendship or he isn’t as trustworthy as you might think.

kaytee87 · 30/12/2017 18:58

Does he message her back? She could just want to be friends. Has he had the same number for 18 years?

YellowFlower201 · 30/12/2017 18:58

Why doesn't your DH ask her not to contact him if it's a problem. Or just block her?

Original poster
JustVent · 30/12/2017 19:05

He doesn’t want to. Doesn’t see why he should.

OP posts:
MammaTJ · 30/12/2017 19:10

He doesn’t want to. Doesn’t see why he should.

Bless, he likes the ego boost of her keeping asking, almost as much as the ego boost of a much younger woman with him! Young enough to not be an adult when you got together and he was 31!

kaytee87 · 30/12/2017 19:13

So he doesn't mind her messaging him then basically.
If there's nothing inappropriate in the messages then ask yourself why you're so bothered about this.

Original poster
JustVent · 30/12/2017 19:14

So now it’s DH’s fault that he met me 18 years ok?

It’s her issue surely for wanting to hang. To something?!

OP posts:
kaytee87 · 30/12/2017 19:16

Op has he had the same phone number for 18 years?

kaytee87 · 30/12/2017 19:17

Is he replying to her messages?

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