Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

That my husbands ex keeps contacting him?

88 replies

JustVent · 30/12/2017 18:33

They weee together 19 years ago, I met him 18 years ago when I was 17, and been together ever since. They were together for a year.

She calls him randomly despite never meeting since they met, when she is pregnant. Random times that ‘remind her of him’. Tonight because she is in the area and her husband isn’t.

She is married with kids. He is married to me with kids.

She contacts him once a year to meet up? He never had. It’s always in front of me, he always says no, I trust him

Why does she keep trying?

It’s fucking weird.

OP posts:
wannabestressfree · 30/12/2017 20:17

I dislike the 'you have a dh problem' comments but the sentiment is correct in this case. He needs to block her and cut off contact after such a long time. She is getting something from this interaction.... I get the impression he is not being entirely truthful.

Tippz · 30/12/2017 20:29

@gillybeans
she is probably just being friendly

Is she fucking hell?! Hmm

He needs to change his mobile number (I know a few people - on here - claim to have had the same one since 1999 but I don't know anyone who has!)

And he needs to tell her to quit calling him and asking to meet - coz it's fucking weird. What's wrong with her FFS? Sounds like she has a flame burning for him still.

And people need to quit the nasty shit about the age gap! 17 and 30 is a bit unusual but there is nothing nasty about it, so just stop! Hmm

WorraLiberty · 30/12/2017 20:37

I know it's a horrible thought OP, but do you think there's a chance the baby might be his?

It might explain why she wants to meet once a year and all the other apparently unreturned calls?

frieda909 · 30/12/2017 20:50

I know a few people - on here - claim to have had the same one since 1999 but I don't know anyone who has!

Is this seriously so unusual? It’s easy to move your number between mobile networks. I’ve had the same number since I was 18 and I’m 33 now. It’s just moved with me every time I’ve switched networks.

My dad has had his phone number since before the ‘Big Number Change’ in the late 90s when they changed them all to start with 07. So apart from the added 7 he’s still got the same number as he had when I was a teenager. His is the only mobile number I know off by heart, apart from my own!

Sorry, I know it’s not the point of the thread but this seems like such a ridiculous thing to nitpick over.

MrsPicklesonSmythe · 30/12/2017 20:59

My OH’s ex wife tried to add him on fb this year, he just blocked her. It never became an issue. Your DH obviously likes being contacted by her maybe enjoys the attention or whatever.

It’s a strange set up, wonder if he’s the father of her child.

Nquartz · 30/12/2017 21:15

Same Frieda, although I was 19 & now almost 37.

There is definitely something fishy going on, i doubt it is as one-sided as he's led you to believe

LoveProsecco · 30/12/2017 21:24

Very strange behaviour

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 30/12/2017 21:25

I have an Ex from years ago that contacts me

He has some fairly major MH issues so I Reply as a kindness as I think he appreciates having people to message and talk to . Nothing inappropriate whatsoever just lengthy rambling emails

Is that bad Confused

genever · 30/12/2017 21:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 30/12/2017 21:59

I’ve had the same mobile number for 12 years and DH has had his even longer. I don’t see the point of changing it (nuisance calls etc aside) as it’s hassle to update everything and it’s so easy to move it if you change networks.

(Unless the twats from Vodafone are involved in which case it becomes a nightmare)

IHaveAnOutie · 30/12/2017 22:40

I’ve had the same mobile number for 19 years!

Tara336 · 30/12/2017 22:51

yanbu I would ask him to not respond and block, if he refuses offer to tell her yourself to do one. It seems very odd that she does this after such a long time if he’s not responded previously to her. I’d not be too chuffed about this either

Original poster
JustVent · 31/12/2017 01:48

She isn’t pregnant now.

That’s just another time I remember her calling him.

They didn’t finish on good terms, she got together with his best mate so they are both arseholes in my opinion.

It’s the fact that he was bouncing off the walls in delight when I walked in and was bursting at the seams to tell me who he was on the phone with.

OP posts:
Original poster
JustVent · 31/12/2017 01:49

Be messaged her via fb to tell her to leave off.

If he has been contacting her then I’m sure she will delight in telling me so.

Although right now I believe DH.

OP posts:
Original poster
JustVent · 31/12/2017 01:51

I messages her via Facebook.

She hasn’t read it yet though. One of her fb pics used to be her in underwear on the edge of the bed with her legs spread wide open.
So she’s classy.

OP posts:
TrojansAreSmegheads · 31/12/2017 01:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
JustVent · 31/12/2017 02:10

Ego boost I expect.

OP posts:
liminality · 31/12/2017 02:13

It’s the fact that he was bouncing off the walls in delight when I walked in and was bursting at the seams to tell me who he was on the phone with.

wtaf? All the other stuff about your relationship aside, this is just bloody weird at any age. why would hhe bursting at the seams? Is the fact that her contact pisses you off something that he likes to rub in your face? Why is he excited to hear from her if he never wants to meet?

Original poster
JustVent · 31/12/2017 02:17

Exactly.

OP posts:
imablackstarnotapopstar · 31/12/2017 02:20

Just tell him to stop it! Tell him it upsets you. If he can't consider your feelings then he's frankly a bit of a dick!

imablackstarnotapopstar · 31/12/2017 02:21

And he's the problem in your relationship - you're not married to her.

Stinkbomb · 31/12/2017 02:23

I've still got the very first mobile number since my first 20 years ago!

Original poster
JustVent · 31/12/2017 02:30

He’s deleted her number now but what use is that?
He doesn’t have the ‘block’ option so that won’t stop her calling and they are still fb friends.
So that’s done precisely fuck all.

OP posts:
FrivolouslyFancifulFannie · 31/12/2017 02:42

He's never seen her for years, doesn't want to meet her and knows your upset about it.

All he has to do is block her and move on, he can block her on facebook and by buying a phone with the block number option if he wont change his number

Beakyplinders · 31/12/2017 02:54

I just don't understand why your DH doesn't put an end to get calling or contact him unless he actually enjoys her getting in contact for whatever reason.

It's not difficult to make it obvious you don't want to meet or keep a friendship going, nor is it difficult to block a phone number.