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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To cancel NCT as only 3 other couples?

80 replies

thaigreencurry82 · 30/12/2017 17:04

Got an email from the course organiser yesterday saying the NCT signature course I've booked on to (£300) has "3 confirmed couples including yourselves."

I can't work out from her email how many people will actually be attending as I am not in a couple. So I guess 2 couples plus me?

She's given us until tomorrow to decide if we still want to go ahead with this low number.

I'm undecided - the main reason for booking on to NCT was for the social aspect, and obviously with fewer couples the chance of finding people you gel with is less.

What would you do?

OP posts:
AmUsername · 30/12/2017 17:05

Tbh, I would cancel and just attend the nhs ones

IWillSurviveHeyHey · 30/12/2017 17:05

Why the ultimatum? Tell her by tomorrow or what?

CheshireSplat · 30/12/2017 17:08

I'd go in the condition neither of the other couples drops out. There were 6 couples in mine and I would have happily spent time with any of them. I don't actually see them now (DD is 6) but for the first year it was invaluable. However, it really depends if you can afford to write off £300. I also made good friends at breast feeding cafe run by NHS but it took a few weeks for that to happen. My NCT friends were then from day 1.

bigglesgoggles · 30/12/2017 17:09

The same happened to me some years ago....only 3 including me.
We went with it.
And me and one of the others have now been best friends for 9 years!
I'd go for it.

You'll most likely attend other groups in those early years where you'll have a chance to make more friends too.

TrinitySquirrel · 30/12/2017 17:10

NCT courses are shitter than shit. I got more out of Youtube and local Mum groups on Mush/Hoop.

ElenaBothari · 30/12/2017 17:11

I'd cancel tbh. It's such a lottery whether you'll actually meet anybody you become friends with anyway. With only two other mums there your odds have halved.

It's easy to meet people once the baby arrives, and the NHS antenatal classes will tell you everything you need to know.

Original poster
thaigreencurry82 · 30/12/2017 17:42

Thanks for your replies.

@cheshiresplat thanks for your suggestion, I think I'll reply basically saying that.
If it were just me and another couple I'd feel a bit awkward and a pressure to force a friendship. I think the course is overpriced but i can afford to write it off and i am intrigued to see what NCT is all about.

OP posts:
Ceebs85 · 30/12/2017 17:44

I'd cancel. I scoffed at the price when I enquired and didnt end up doing it. When you've so much to buy for a baby it seemed an unnecessary and expensive luxury.

I've made a few friends going to local groups so for me it wouldn't have been worth it.

countingkids123 · 30/12/2017 17:48

I’d cancel it. Take a look at the CalmFamily website to see if there’s a practitioner near you running antenatal workshops or preparing to parent courses. You will save ££. I benefited hugely from my antenatal workshop and went on to book others. I later met the lady who ran our local nct courses at a baby & toddler group and was glad we hadn’t bothered. Obviously 1 woman isn’t enough to tarr the whole organisation but...

Original poster
thaigreencurry82 · 30/12/2017 17:48

@iwillsurvive The course starts at the end of Jan so I'm going to say that she should give us more time to decide, e.g. in case other couples join.

err, my mum has just yelled at me saying i'm stupid for spending 300 quid on private antenatal when NHS is free...

OP posts:
trilbydoll · 30/12/2017 17:51

The bonus of nct is people go with the intention of making friends, so you're all on the same page to start with. Obviously they might all be bonkers but that's the risk!

If it's 3 couples I would risk it, if it's just two of you I would not bother.

WhatHappenedToSunday · 30/12/2017 18:13

£300?!

Ive got 3 kids and never even knew this was a thing. Ppl go with the aim to make friends? Who knew

icclemunchy · 30/12/2017 18:15

I've met better long term friends through my local la leche group. You can go along whilst pregnant and some of them run antenatal courses too

Appleandcinnamon · 30/12/2017 18:17

£300
To make some friends????? The free one run by the midwives is pretty good tbf. You will make friends at baby groups that cost about a fiver per session.

feral · 30/12/2017 18:17

Save your money. Think what else £300 could buy you!

I did the free ones at the local Children's Centre.

The one baby friend I made early actually came from 'Baby Latte' that I attended twice after DS was born. Boys are now 5 and best mates.

Scrowy · 30/12/2017 18:20

There aren't any NCT groups within an hours drive of me so I didnt have a choice. I don't feel I've missed out in any way.

Mind you the NHS ones were pretty shit too but at least I had only spent time and not money attending them.

SaltySeaBird · 30/12/2017 18:24

I’d cancel. I was in a small group and we didn’t bond.

Archietheinventor · 30/12/2017 18:24

The NCT one near me was full of weirdos who spent hours banging on and on about their birthing stories & totally dismissed me when I said I’d have to have an elective caesarean (medical issues, no other option) - they were so boring! Made far better friends through the NHS ones. Just my experience, but they made me feel like shit, and I got dirty looks for giving my baby a dummy...

Scottishgirl85 · 30/12/2017 18:26

Our Nct class was full with all 8 couples, but we all get on so well and meet regularly even though our little ones are nearly 3. If I were you I'd risk it. I found we were all like minded people and our WhatsApp chats were a life saver, and still are! We also did nhs course, a few drifted away but still in regular contact with six couples from NHS course. If you can afford it I'd do Nct and go to nhs as well.

NotSureThisIsWhatIWant · 30/12/2017 18:27

Agree that the NHS ones were pretty rubbish, lots of practical information but nothing that you had not learned in school or read in a basic maternity book. There was no intention of building a friendship either.

I regret not going to the NCT ones, I see hoards of mums with babies of the same age having coffees together and they look as if maternity/birth has joined together, while the baby group I attended after DS’ birth it was all competitive boring stuff.

Agree that as long as there are three of you it may be worth it, less than that, I’m not sure. What happens if the other ones drop out and you are left on your own?

Sugarcoma · 30/12/2017 18:29

I’d cancel. My NCT group were fine but never really clicked like others did so we never spent much time together. One couple dropped out after the first session for an unknown reason and it’s a shame because I think they were the most similar to us.

The actual course was completely useless and the money would be better spent on a maternity nurse for 2 nights after baby comes who’ll tell you everything you need to know!!

givemesteel · 30/12/2017 18:30

I don't think the comments from people who didn't do NCT are particularly helpful on this thread.....!

I would still go but with the suggestion above that no one else drops out. They might get other couples joining you never know.

I did both NCT and the NHS one, you can't compare it. The NHS one is only one afternoon and pretty top line. NCT is alot more detailed, thereby making you feel alot more prepared for after the birth not just the birth itself. So I think you come out of it feeling more ready.

Also if you intend to breastfeed doing NCT entitles you to one on one support post birth. This is also a lot better than what is provided by children's centres etc.

It is unlikely both couples will be complete weirdos so if nothing else you'll just have at least one other mum who's in the same boat as you to meet up with or WhatsApp at 3 in the morning. Yes you'll make other friends but I found this took time. My NCT group were invaluable in the first few weeks.

TurquoiseDress · 30/12/2017 18:33

To be honest I'd probably just cancel it if it's only going to be 3 other couples, it'd be better if there were more couples lined up.

Isn't the whole point of NCT that you are "buying" a ready formed friendship group for support during pregnancy and beyond the birth etc.

The more couples the better I think- more chance of meeting people you gel with.

I made a few enquiries for NCT during my first pregnancy but quickly dismissed the idea. Too expensive for what it is (in my opinion)- we could've shelled out the cash for it but it just seemed a waste.

ComeLuckyApril · 30/12/2017 18:34

On the plus side you might meet up more often since less people to work dates around, and easier to fit everyone plus babies into each others houses? With a massive group unless you have a big house it's hard to invite others round and no one can agree on a date.

Mummyoflittledragon · 30/12/2017 18:35

Dh and I are still in contact with some of the nct people on an occasional basis. And one regularly. Dd is 9. The group was a godsend pre school.