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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To cancel NCT as only 3 other couples?

80 replies

thaigreencurry82 · 30/12/2017 17:04

Got an email from the course organiser yesterday saying the NCT signature course I've booked on to (£300) has "3 confirmed couples including yourselves."

I can't work out from her email how many people will actually be attending as I am not in a couple. So I guess 2 couples plus me?

She's given us until tomorrow to decide if we still want to go ahead with this low number.

I'm undecided - the main reason for booking on to NCT was for the social aspect, and obviously with fewer couples the chance of finding people you gel with is less.

What would you do?

OP posts:
Fintress · 30/12/2017 18:38

When my friend and I were both heavily pregnant we went to an antenatal exercise class at the local leisure centre, we’d initially met at an NHS class. After the class we always went for coffee and one day we were invited to sit with another group of mums to be. They were a NCT group and they were a weird bunch. Preaching to us about why you should never buy new clothes and stuff for babies (or yourself) and just get from a charity shop or secondhand shop, birth stories etc and they invited us to join NCT. To be honest they scared the shit out of us in the end. I am quite sure there are a lot of great NCT classes but they put me off for life.

PumpkinPie2016 · 30/12/2017 18:38

I didn't do NCT as I personally felt it was an awful lot of.money (each to their own though) so I did the NHS one.

I really liked my NHS group - there was about 8 couples and all were lovely. Although I am only still in touch with one or two but that's more because they lived near me and so I saw them at groups/clinic afterwards. Had I wanted to, I am sure that I could have struck up closer friendship with some of the others.

With such a small group, I would be inclined not to bother. If you go to groups after your baby is born you will find people to chat to/make friends with.

ohdearmissus · 30/12/2017 18:43

I agree with your mum...
Cancel now and spend the money on you and your baby

Bowerbird5 · 30/12/2017 18:43

I made some great friends with NCT and none at NHS. There will be a wider circle after baby is born. The fundraisers were fun and the people were lovely and I was in two countries as babies born in Scotland and England.
I went on to deliver some classes to Secondary students about childcare with another mum and the reality of having a baby as many very young mums14/15 in the area. Think we managed to convince some that babies weren't just cute!

Ceebs85 · 30/12/2017 18:44

NHS doesn't have yo be shit. See what your area offers. Ours were spread over 6 weeks so very similar to NCT and just as much likelihood to hit it off with someone there x

Hepzibar · 30/12/2017 18:46

My DD and SIL did the NCT course. They are in London, both families in the north. There is more of a chance you will hit it off on a NCT course, rather than via NHS just because you are always together for the sessions. I think there were about 6 couples, none of whom they would have met via any other means.
It is a support network, albeit mostly via social media (whatsapp group) along with some regular meet ups.

If you are a long way from family then I think you should commit ( and hood some more join soon).

Justanothernap · 30/12/2017 18:47

It's a gamble. You might make great friends (odds are in your favour as the others attending probably want to & you have something pretty big in common) but can't be guaranteed I guess. We were a group of 4 & 3 years later still all good friends. Worth it for the panicked whatsapp posts - my baby won't stop doing x, mine either, etc, etc, surprisingly reassuring.

HostaFireAndIce · 30/12/2017 18:51

Do people really do antenatal classes with the main purpose of making friends? I would have thought that was a pleasant possible side effect.

LittlePaintBox · 30/12/2017 18:52

I got great postnatal support from the local NCT branch, but we moved while I was pregnant so we never saw those couples again. I don't think you have to have done classes to access support from the NCT.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 30/12/2017 18:53

@thaigreencurry - do look at the NCT groups in your area - Bumps and Babes, coffee mornings etc, as these can be really good ways to meet other parents. They may not have babies of a very similar age to yours, but that can be a benefit - those wi5 older babies/toddlers will be happy to offer their hints and tips, and will love offering to cuddle your baby so you can drink actual hot coffee.

I made some friends via the NCT who I am still in touch with - in fact, two of my closest friends are women I met via the NCT.

Wh0KnowsWhereTheTimeG0es · 30/12/2017 18:53

I did NCT, with four other couples. I still meet the other mums regularly (approx fortnightly) and the babies are teenagers now, it was worth every penny.

Homemenu1 · 30/12/2017 18:55

Before you cancel check there is still room
On the Nhs ones, mine was booked up

MarieLaure · 30/12/2017 18:59

We did NCT in a tiny group, us and 2 other couples. We didn't really gel - the other couples were fine but we didn't have much in common (and all lived in different towns). We met up a few times in the babies' first year but then one couple moved away and meet ups fell by the wayside. I have lots of nice friends from other baby groups / NHS groups, so I'd be inclined to cancel.

CremeFresh · 30/12/2017 19:00

Our NHS post natal group was great - some of the more boozy like minded of us formed another smaller group and met up for pub lunches. I'm still friends with them 20 years on!

NotAgainYoda · 30/12/2017 19:01

I'd go. I think that there's as much risk of finding a large number of social relationships a PITA to manage in the longer run as there is not meeting friends

I may be biased as those massive groups of women with small babies brought me out in hives

ItsChristmoose · 30/12/2017 19:01

There was only us and 4 other couples. I think any more than that was unnecessary.

NotAgainYoda · 30/12/2017 19:02

Hosta

I did the NHS one, and no, I didn't do it with the aim of finding friends

I met friends via parent-and-baby/toddler groups, then later through school.

JustCallMeJanet · 30/12/2017 19:03

NCT work on a break even rate, so if you or any of the other clients pull out it's likely the whole course will be cancelled. You are unlikely to be in a group with one other couple.

If it's running at the end of January the course is still likely to get more bookings. All NCT courses have a deadline for deciding whether to go ahead or not. The deadline is given to allow for cancelling venues, practitioners time etc - courses are planned up to a year in advance.

Are you just looking to make friends, or do you want more information and support for labour, birth and parenting?

You can also ask to be transferred to an NCT postnatal course which will offer friendship and support after the birth, which you may find more useful.

LemonScentedStickyBat · 30/12/2017 19:03

People still sign up right till the start date

MammaTJ · 30/12/2017 19:05

I could never have afforded this at all. What do you get from it that you wouldn't from the NHS classes?

Entirely up to you as to whether you think it will be money well spent, not your Mother! I am curious though!

Rebeccaslicker · 30/12/2017 19:06

I'd go. There were only 4 couples on ours and it was great - could NOT have got through the first 8 weeks in particular without the other mums. Who else can you WhatsApp at 3am with a simultaneous projectile vomit/explosive poo situation and know they'll be up and understand?!

Original poster
thaigreencurry82 · 30/12/2017 19:07

A real mix of responses! Thanks everyone. I could go either way on it at the moment.

I think the organiser is being unreasonable by only giving us 48 hours to decide, esp over the weekend when she's unable to respond to questions.

I'm going to say I need longer to decide to see if more couples join. If one of the others drops out then I will too as just me and one other couple would be ridiculous.

OP posts:
missymayhemsmum · 30/12/2017 19:09

Stick with it as the NCT courses are loads better preparation for birth and parenting than the very basic NHS sessions and there is every likelihood other mums will join the course.

TheLovelyOtherDinosaur · 30/12/2017 19:11

I’m in the same boat as you as we were informed that our NCT class was only going to be 3 couples and potentially an extra lady. We were asked if we still wanted to go ahead and I said yes- so long as the other couples agreed too. It’s going ahead in the 1st week of January. My aim was to make other mum friends and it was highly recommended to me by other friends for this reason. I figured that even if I met just one other like minded Mum it would be worth it. Mine were priced at £170 though. I don’t think it’s fair that the prices change for each region. Most of my friends paid £125 so I was a bit put out at £170 never mind £300!

Jassmells · 30/12/2017 19:12

No do it was best thing we did... some
Of the advice was a bit crap but we made some brilliant friends. Tell them to advertise it I bet they'd get their hands bitten off by someone who thinks they've left it too late!