I've just had the worst day of my life

[Razorboy]

I was on my way to work today. I had a phone call from my aunt. My dad has disappeared over Christmas. I have tried to contact daily. I knew in my heart something was wrong.

My family found him today. He is dead. The situation was fucking awful.

I have to put on my big girl pants and deal with the most awful thing ever. This was unexpected and horrific.
.
Can someone walk with me through this please?

Shocking for you and your family. So sad. Be kind to yourselves - you are not responsible for his death.

What happened to him?

I'm so sorry OP . I don't think I can provide any practical advice but hoping that you get some advice here that helps you and family. Big hugs

I am so sorry, OP.

I know it will be hard, but remember to be kind to yourself. Be patient with yourself. Remind your family members to do so as well. My mum's family went through something similar many years ago, and you have to remember that none of this is anyone's fault.

I'm so sorry to read your terrible news.
I lost my Mum very unexpectedly a few years ago, and Mumsnet was a huge support.

Thinking of you x

Is there anything I can do?
Sending love ❤️

Apologies if I've read your post the wrong way Razorboy but www.uksobs.org are massively helpful if this fits the situation. Sending hugs

I’m so sorry
Do you have some RL support?

OP please don't go to work.

Please go home and allow yourself some time to take in the shock.

I'm so sorry.i found my 21 year old son passed away to suicide in 2015.it was horrific and devastating.be with your friends and family.they will help you through the dark days x

Thank you all so much. The practical advice you have all offered is very useful.

I am not on my own I am with Dsis and our DHs. I am the eldest and will be responsible for all arrangements. It's just all such a huge shock and we don't really know when we can start doing all the things we need to as we are awaiting coroners etc.

Thank you all for your well wishes

A good undertaker/funeral director will be happy to help and discuss things with you now - they will be perfectly used to people needing to wait for coroners, etc (my dad died suddenly, of a heart attack, and we had to wait a week or so before we had permission to arrange the funeral).

Also, if you/your family are religious and your DF regularly attended a place of worship, you might find the minister at the specific one he attended will be helpful and supportive as well.

So sorry

Sorry for your loss.
You can have a discussion with a funeral director as soon as you feel ready. We had to wait a bit of time for my Dad’s death certificate as there was a debate over the exact cause of death (two illnesses at the same time). We still spoke to the funeral director.
You may feel a whole range of emotions from numbness to anger this is all normal, there is not one right way to grieve.
This site might help too
www.cruse.org.uk/about-grief

Offering another hand hold and please accept my condolences

So sorry OP can't imagine what you are going through. Very tough. It's going to be a shit time for you.

Thinking of you. And as the others wisely say take the help from the funeral directors. A good one will really help you get through the practical necessities.

Be kind yourselves. After we had. family tragedy the shock came and went. Often grabbing you unexpectedly. Take care

I'm so sorry for your loss x

So sorry Razorboy glad you have family around you must be a horrible shock. Sincere condolences

I'm so sorry. I lost my mum this time last year and felt like my world had ended and didn't know how i could live without her. Things DO get better, I promise. Let people be kind to you and don't push them away.

So sorry, what an awful shock. Get someone with you. As far as what to do, the authorities will guide you.

You don't need to be the responsible one. I am the youngest and when my DM died 3 years ago I found my Eldest sibling very distant with regards to arrangements. Try to share things, it will overwhelm you otherwise.

So sorry for your loss

So sorry OP. Big girl pants indeed but allow your emotions a release if you can x

I'm so sorry for your loss
Please allow yourself time to grieve before jumping into 'organising' mode. You'll be in shock. Go to family and friends. Let them comfort and support you.