To leave the cheap, familiar north for expensive, scary London?

[RedPandaMama]

Am I mad?

DP is 27 and a civil servant, I'm 21 and currently on maternity allowance with no job to go back to, but have a degree and experience in retail, sales, hospitality and admin so surely could get something. We have a 4 month old DD.

He currently works in Manchester and we live in the north west, though he's originally from near Luton. Currently renting a 2 bed terrace in an area we don't like and don't plan to stay in more than 2 years. Plan was to rent (only £575pcm) and save like mad for the 2 years and we would then have a 15% deposit for a nice 3-4 bed semi in a reasonably nice small village about an hour out of Manchester.

However I'm getting cold feet about the north. I've lived here my entire life, went to uni here as well. I'm bored of it. But it is cheap, and my family live here.

His family are near London & Bristol. I love the idea of moving to London and so does he. We've looked at Crystal Palace as a possible area. He'd get a 5k salary bump but our rent cost would almost triple and childcare for DD would be 20% more expensive. Commute costs would actually be about £1000 a year less.

It's London. Amazing and different opportunities for me, new area, new people, a fresh start - I'd love all that. And he'd love to do it to. Free museums and things to see. BUT we would have to forget all ideas of buying a house for the foreseeable future and rent.

I think - we're young, we can afford to live moderately comfortably provided I find a job, loads of opportunities for DD and close to his family (who are much more supportive and lovely than mine!)

Are we mad? Would you do it?

Yes, you’re mad. I live near London, it’s a great city but you can still easily visit from up north.

Do it, but look at south norwood, faster trains into the city centre, cheaper, but a bus ride to Crystal palace if you want it for the weekends. the trains from palace are a grind.

I'd do it, but I lived in London at your age and absolutely loved it. I didn't have children, though. Are you sure childcare is only 20% more expensive?

Worst case scenario and it all goes tits up you can always move back.

Not mad. Spread your wings. If you don't, you'll always wonder what it would have been like if you had. SE London is a great place to live and bring up children.

@RemainOptimistic brilliant response.

I moved from Newcastle to London when I was 25: no partner and no kids. I love it here but I can see how much my friends with children struggle (childcare costs are more than one friend’s mortgage; another friend couldn’t get her daughter into the school at the end of their road). You’ll need to look into the costs of commuting as well. Council tax was another shocker: I pay £500 a month for bills (incl CT) on a 2-bed flat.

The plus sides are that there’s loads to do, the tube is generally great and relatively cheap, and I love living in such a diverse city. You can always meet people who are into the stuff you’re into, however obscure.

Have you looked into Bristol instead? Lots of the benefits of London but a bit cheaper and a bit less overwhelming.

London is amazing, and you will have loads of opportunities.

You will also be broke, have no work life balance and live in a shoe box. If you are happy to accept this go for it. Also maybe his family are more supportive and lovely because they aren’t close?

I did 10 years in London and now five in the north, i would never go back to live there, I am a day tripper when the mood strikes me:)

I'd definitely do it at your age.

I've lived in London/Essex all my life and there are so many opportunities for you, your DP and your DC.

What's the worst that can happen at this early point in your lives?

I would do it, for sure. Maybe shared ownership? I don't know how that works but someone will.

Wow what are you spending that £500/monitor bills on?? We have a 3-bed house in SE London (zone 5) and our bills are circa £250 a month (this figure is the total of council tax, gas, electricity and internet/phone).

What are the actual numbers? Can you write them down to see if you have budgeted for everything. London is horrifically expensive but I lived there at your age (no kids though) and it was the best years of my life.

Do you plan to have more kids if so, when?

If just the three of you then you can go into a 1 bed flat for now?

*£500/month

Why not try it and see how you get on. You can always go back to the North and save for a house if things don’t work out. A lot of Londoners, I was born in Hackney, raised in Haringey, now live in the suburbs and commute into work. I’ve heard that Bristol is a nice place to live so if some of your partners family are there why not consider looking into that area too, to live or work. I love the culture in London and spend a lot of time going to the theatre, ballet, art galleries etc. A lot of galleries and museums are free. You can get cheaper theatre tickets if you look for them, I go nearly every week. There are also lots of bands you can see at reasonable prices at various pub or church venues, like the excellent Union Chapel.

Just for balance - I would never move to London.

Nope. I love London, to visit but living there would be my idea of a nightmare.

Just to add that I am happy where I am but would love to move back North where I am from. I earn probably 40% more being in London that I would somewhere like Manchester but I reckon once London costs are taken into account I'm not much better off. But there is loads of stuff to do here of course and we do enjoy going to the museums and going to the beautiful and abundant parks. There are some lovely woods in SE London.

I moved to London at your age and moved back a year later. Rent was too expensive and home/car ownership was an impossible dream. I got sick of commuting on overcrowded trains and spent a lot of time stuck at home being bored because drinks, meals and taxis were so expensive I could rarely afford to go out. I took a £5k salary cut to move back up north but still had more disposable income and was able to buy a car and enjoy a social life that I couldn't afford in London.

Whilst you have a romanticised view of big city living it is not always as glamorous as it seems. Getting to the museums and all the wonderful things with a child in a pram is a pain! Schooling is either great or shocking. Getting in to a school of your choice can be impossible.
As a twenty something I loved the city and its culture. My circle of friends aged and as they had children have varied experiences - but most have moved away due to the expense of raising children.
I live back in the NW in a village an hour outside of Manchester. I have train links to Liverpool/Manchester/Chester that are quicker than a tube to central London. There are theatres, museums, good schools, fresh air .... and I can afford a pretty good life.
Think long and hard OP - whilst you have that dream you also have a child and London is not the greatest or cheapest place to live that dream.
Whatever you do - Good luck.

It's London. Amazing and different opportunities for me, new area, new people, a fresh start - I'd love all that. And he'd love to do it to. Free museums and things to see

If it's something you really want and would feel like you'd get a much needed 'fresh start' then go for it.

But keep in mind the museums are only good a handful of times, I live in London and would love to move near the seaside instead. But unfortunately all of my family is here so I will have to stay for the time being.

Crystal Palace is lovely Op but it is quite expensive, as long as you’ve done costings I’m sure it would be fine but it is one of the pricier surbuban areas in London.

Remain Optimistic has the right idea.

Yes it will be more expensive but it's London (or Bristol), such a buzz, particularly London.
You are young, grab life with both hands.

Can you arrange a few weekend visits? See what you feel? Do the sums to see if you could actually afford it, childcare and rent are the big ones, and contingency for if your baby is ill and childcare won't take DD.

Not a troll hunt, but how have you got a degree, worked long enough to qualify for MA and got a 4 month old?

You’re paying quite a lot for your Manchester place too, comparatively.

Really appreciating all the different responses and views, it's incredibly helpful! I definitely have a romanticized view of London living.

I really fancy Bristol but DP's job wouldn't allow him to move there for what he does exactly.

@usedtogotomars I worked really bloody hard! Haha. Worked a few different jobs and in a bakery through uni full time aged 18-21 and fell pregnant a month into my final year. Was told I might not be able to have children due to illness when I was younger so was actually incredibly happy despite the circumstances. Carried on working, left job in June, had the baby in August and was able to claim MA as didnt qualify for maternity leave due to leaving the job and funny working patterns.

Ah OK! I genuinely wondered!