To think regifted presents can actually be quite unkind?

[Blahblahblahzeeblah]

MIL regifted me a present. I know it was regifted as I looked it up online and it was last sold in 2015. Giving precise details of the gift would likely be quite outing but it's something she knows I will never use.

I've almost surprised myself by feeling quite hurt by this. We have an ok relationship, not the best of friends but always pleasant to one another and I help her out when I can, make sure she sees the grandchildren often etc.

I feel like it's her way of saying she doesn't really care about me. It's not a money thing, I'd have been happy with a bar of my favourite chocolate as she knows I'd enjoy that and that would've shown some thought.

I buy all the family presents and I spend a lot of time over it, making sure everyone gets something they'd like. I know she would have liked her gift as she mentioned it specifically several times (doesn't do subtle hints!) so I made sure we got it sorted for her.

So is it sometimes mean to regift something when you know the receiver won't like and/or use it?

I'm prepared to be told I'm BU, in fact it might cheer me up a little!

Do you think so LassWiTheDelicateAir? I don't think you understand

No I do understand. Selecting these items involves no effort on your part. I am perfectly aware your husband will pay wholesale prices and by not selling them he is paying for the gifts you are making.

So basically the recipients will, on the whole, get nice, but not particularly thoughtful or individual gifts (apart from the odd one or two who find cashmere irritates their skin) bought at wholesale prices.

Presumably your husband reclaims the VAT he paid on them putting the actual cost down?

I don't think giving someone things from a gift with purchase at a cosmetic counter is exactly regifting. It depends. When I was a teenager my Auntie would save up things from them to pass on to me at Xmas because she knew I would like them. She could have used them herself, but didn't. To be fair though, they were an 'extra' present and were thoughtful because they were suited to me. Something that you would clearly not like (if it is clear) and that has possibly just been lying around for years does seem like a bit of an afterthought. I don't blame you for feeling a little bit miffed.

You really don’t like your MIL do you, OP? Just threads on mumsnet and both about your MIL

Sorry - meant to say just two threads on mumsnet and both about your MIL.

I hear you.
I got a hot water bottle from SIL - despite my having asked her what she’d like and buying thoughtful gifts for her, BIL and son.
I don’t think she is a bad gift giver, but it’s hard not to take it personally, especially as the gift to my DH was at least 3x as expensive!

Or maybe she name changes for a particular subject, like som many other posters.

I have a friend who spends a lot of time at car boots and gets some bargains. Over the recent years I've had a nail set - M&S which when I looked at the booklet was from 2005 . I've also had a Santa/Snowman mug set with little whisk and sachets of Hot Choc . Which was out of date by four years .

Aridane
You really don’t like your MIL do you, OP? Just threads on mumsnet and both about your MIL
The op has posted many times on mumsnet and not only about her mil.

Presumably your husband reclaims the VAT he paid on them putting the actual cost down?

I don't understand what you suggesting here Lass? We are both self employed and both pay full tax on all our income.

As for the rest of it: I loathe shopping for presents. I derive no joy from hunting for that special something but if people do, then that's great. Perhaps you are one of them. But there's no virtue in that or sin if you take the opposite view. I love it when people give me a list or ask for money. I don't think I'm alone in that.

Some members of DH's family are chronic regifters and I found it really hurtful. To me it says two things: 1. I am too tight to spend money on you, and 2. I cannot be arsed to choose a nice, thoughtful gift for you.

Same. So glad that we have finally agreed to just buy for the children. Also, I am not sure about my acting skills pretending that I love it, and being asked about it months later when I have already given/thrown it away!

There have been a few times when I've thought: 'That is exactly what they'll' want.' But mostly not.

I don't expect presents but I give people lists for birthdays and Christmas and expect them to do the same. I really resent people wanting me to spend time choosing presents for them as proof of my love.