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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU - heating for guests

388 replies

ifonly4 · 27/12/2017 19:15

Went to BIL's for Boxing Day and the house was freezing. They asked if we were warm enough, DH said he was a bit cold so they said they'd put the heating on low. We had our lunch in conservatory and in afternoon we noticed that we could see everyone's breath in the lounge. I then spotted a temperature gauge, 14c. AIBU, but this was far too cold for guests? Have to admit we tend to have temperature around 19c when we have guests.

I don't think it's got anything to do with money. We invited them here but BIL's wife loves entertaining and insisted we go to them. Food was lovely two choices, veggies, salad, bread and two pudds to choose from (better than what I'd have offered in all fairness), so it's not as if they'd invited us under pressure.

OP posts:

Sennelier1 · 28/12/2017 19:05

We usually have between 18 and 21. When I'm in the kitchen and really cooking for entertaining (so spending some serious time there) then I'm oftn too hot and - if I'm alone - opening the back door or turning down the thermostat a bit. If and when I'm not alone I prefer to go upstairs and change into a light cotton T-shirt so the rest of the family/guests don't have to freeze 😊

Chattymummyhere · 28/12/2017 19:16

We try to keep ours in the 20’s sometimes it drops to 18. Jumpers inside? I put one on to go outside under my coat but I’m certainly not wearing one to do the washing or watch tv. My in laws keep their house shorts temperature all year round.

BillThePony · 28/12/2017 19:20

Just arrived at FIL's the house is roasting, he thinks because I am a southerner I need it warmer: he hardly ever has the heat on bless him. DH has turned it down as we only have it about 17-18 at home.

AnotherWorry · 28/12/2017 19:23

but I’m certainly not wearing one to do the washing or watch tv why?

londonista · 28/12/2017 19:29

Being cold always makes me feel like a poor person, I just cannot suffer it. I feel the cold more than most so I tend to plan ahead and pack layers when staying elsewhere. I have been known to sleep in a beanie!

My mum even now will come and give me an extra blanket when I stay there. She said she was forever trying to keep me warm when I was a baby, as they had no heating. I had some impressive 1970s knitwear, I can tell you...!

Bring on the hot flushes, I say!

PolarBearkshire · 28/12/2017 19:39

I absolutely hate when somebody dares to invite guests and then freeze them?!!
I feel instense pain if I am cold and few times after repeatedly asking could they please put some heating on - I was given blankets??! The hell. I left. I have zero wish to spend my time with people who cant even make me comfortable. Unacceptable.
Regardless of food etc

Maireadplastic · 28/12/2017 19:50

People who prefer cool houses (not cold, ice on the inside of windows) are wrong and people who prefer hot houses are right, it seems.
We're in London, thermostat at 18 currently, no heating at night and only use it for 6 months a year, if that. I turn it up if cold people are visiting and suffer the discomfort.

Chattymummyhere · 28/12/2017 19:51

another

Why would I? I live in 2017 with central heating and double glazing why would I freeze my ass of for the fun of it when I don’t need to?

Same reason people drive when they could walk it’s a nicer experience sat in a warm dry car than walking on a wet cold day.

ZoopDragon · 28/12/2017 19:56

That's really stingy and inhospitable! We have our thermostat set at 20 all the time. I'd be mortified if guests were cold!

Delatron · 28/12/2017 19:59

To be fair, it's utterly inhospitable to make your guests suffer. I don't care if you wear 5 jumpers and set your thermostat to 9 degrees. When you have guests, don't be so tight and put the heating on!

I would leave a cold house...

jessebuni · 28/12/2017 19:59

14 is a bit low but I would have just said “oh I’m feeling rather chilly would you mind terribly turning to the heating up just a little” even if they’d already put it up earlier. We tend to have a cold flat because I can’t afford to spend more on gas than we already do. So our hovers between 15-18 degrees which is cold for some and ok for others. MIL has hers at 24 all the time her radiators are always warm! She doesn’t take her coat off at our house.

jessebuni · 28/12/2017 20:03

That being said if I had guests that weren’t super close family (that therefore completely understand why our house is cold) I’d put it up because I wouldn’t want every guest to know our financial ins and outs

SimonBridges · 28/12/2017 20:03

Mines on 30. 😛

Fuck the environment 😛

Delatron · 28/12/2017 20:05

I think that's the point though, if I'm sat in my coat at 15 degrees then can't you just turn up the heating for a few hours?! I understand the cost issue but you can turn it back down/off when your guests leave.

FoggieFishieCarpeDiem · 28/12/2017 20:06

The downstairs is currently at about 16 in our house.

But DDs’ room, the family room and our bedroom is at about 19 :)

FuzzyCustard · 28/12/2017 20:13

May I just point out that I do not set my thermostat to 9 degrees (it is actually at 18 degrees if I ever put the heating on)...it is the THERMOMETER that says 9 degrees.

And I'm quite sad reading about all the people who say it is stingy and inhospitable and would leave and how dare we invite people round to a cold house!. Happily our friends are a lot more understanding about our financial situation, and wear big jumpers!

AnotherWorry · 28/12/2017 20:16

Chattymummyhere do you find wearing a jumper indoors is as uncomfortable as taking a walk in the cold and wet?

I don't like feeling cold. But I wear a jumper before putting the heating on. It's an item of clothing, it's what they're for.

FuzzyCustard · 28/12/2017 20:16

delatron may I use you as an example?
I'm sat in my coat at 15 degrees then can't you just turn up the heating for a few hours?! I understand the cost issue but you can turn it back down/off when your guests leave
The cost issue is that if the heating is on, that leaves less money for food. It really is that tight. So I am not sure that you DO understand; the theory yes, but not the reality of it.

Maireadplastic · 28/12/2017 20:18

'Same reason people drive when they could walk it’s a nicer experience sat in a warm dry car than walking on a wet cold day.'
Not for me.

Delatron · 28/12/2017 20:18

I think it's the same as providing food and drink for guests though?

It's fine to have the temperature low to suit finances most the time. But would it cost loads to put it on a bit higher whilst guests come around?

Delatron · 28/12/2017 20:20

Ok, sorry, if money is too tight to turn up the thermostat for a few hours then that's absolutely fair enough. Apologies.

It's more the personal preference argument. You prefer a cold house (no cost issue) guests prefer it warmer, then you should turn up the heating.

Chattymummyhere · 28/12/2017 20:21

another

I personally don’t drive so I like there to be a difference in my outside and inside clothes, so for the School run top,jumper, fleece lined coat. When I get home I want to be able to take off the extra layers. I also get pain in one of my legs diagonally across one of my bones when I’m too cold (no idea why, never broken it or anything that I know off). Jumpers too me are outside clothes I can’t remember a time apart from at school where I wore a jumper inside a building.

FuzzyCustard · 28/12/2017 20:22

It would cost loads...or at least more than we have.

Next time we have guests I shall say "Would you like the heating on, or would you prefer a cup of tea and a cake or two?" Because, yes, that is the choice some people have to make.

Or perhaps I just won't bother paying the council tax this month and see where that gets me! :)

FoggieFishieCarpeDiem · 28/12/2017 20:22

Fuzzy

16 degrees seems perfectly reasonable to me (especially if I get to keep my shoes on / you provide slippers...)

But with DDs being so little... 16 - 20 degrees is recommended for infants by the NHS. Which is why the bedrooms are currently 19 (but will get a little colder during the night). I’m actually feeling a bit too hot currently (wearing shorts and a jumper).

FuzzyCustard · 28/12/2017 20:23

Just read your second message...yes if it's a choice thing then of course I'd have it warmer. (Blimey, I'd choose to have it warmer for me!)

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