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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - heating for guests

388 replies

ifonly4 · 27/12/2017 19:15

Went to BIL's for Boxing Day and the house was freezing. They asked if we were warm enough, DH said he was a bit cold so they said they'd put the heating on low. We had our lunch in conservatory and in afternoon we noticed that we could see everyone's breath in the lounge. I then spotted a temperature gauge, 14c. AIBU, but this was far too cold for guests? Have to admit we tend to have temperature around 19c when we have guests.

I don't think it's got anything to do with money. We invited them here but BIL's wife loves entertaining and insisted we go to them. Food was lovely two choices, veggies, salad, bread and two pudds to choose from (better than what I'd have offered in all fairness), so it's not as if they'd invited us under pressure.

OP posts:
MikeUniformMike · 28/12/2017 00:21

Urgent, you were warm that December because your body was different.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 28/12/2017 00:29

When I was at senior school back in the 80s, our school had a policy that if the temp dropped below 15 deg C we went home.

Working temps vary depending on the type of work - from here:
"The government’s health and safety regulations state that employers must ensure that the temperature in the workplace is ‘reasonable’ at all times. In the accompanying code of practice it suggests that the temperature should be a minimum of 16 degrees Celsius unless the work involves a lot of physical activity where this can drop to 13 degrees Celsius. However, the guidelines take into account the varying nature of the ‘workplace’ and give some leeway for the fact that this may not always be possible due to the nature of the working environment. "

So from that perspective 14 deg C would be too cold, since you weren't doing a lot of physical activity.

Either way, it's bloody rude to make your guests shiver!

MikeUniformMike · 28/12/2017 00:57

It is also rude of guests to fiddle with the thermostat. They do here.
These are people who have their living room so warm that a chocolate bar in your handbag would melt.

StripySocks1 · 28/12/2017 01:19

We have ours set to 16 degrees overnight, anything lower and the baby wakes up as her room has 2 outside walls so is a bit colder than the other rooms.

It’s set to 20 degrees throughout the day/evening but we have hive heating so we can control it really easily so it’s only on when we’re in.

We switch energy suppliers often and pay £55 per month for gas and electricity for a 3 bed prewar house that is insulated but due to its age is not very airtight.

Etymology23 · 28/12/2017 08:35

I have mine at 13/14 at night/when I’m out and 18 for times when I’m up and in. Usually top it up to 20 for guests and always leave plenty of blankets round in the sitting room.

I sometimes shove it up to 19 or 20 if I’m working from home as I am so sedentary. No insulation except in roof and gas and electric combined is about £45 pcm.

StrawBasket · 28/12/2017 08:38

It's all nice and good to say it's rude to leave your guests too hot or too cold, but you do realise that there's no average acceptable temperatures?

Some people will be shivering at 24 because their house is a sauna, others will feel faint at 22 because they are used to a 16 house.

It's exactly the same in reverse with air con, some tourists are happy to enjoy the local temperatures whilst others have to crank it to 16 degrees for their entire stay!

So you can ask your guests if they are too old or cold, and the amount of layers they wear gives you a clue, but you can't guess what is comfortable for people. Some will sleep with the window open in January, other will have the heating turn up to 25 all night.

As a guest, take layers! I sometimes consider taking slippers for the ones who are rude enough to expect you to take your shoes off, but I am not sure they will get the message Grin

Wishingandwaiting · 28/12/2017 08:40

I want my guests to feel acoksurely comfortable.
Sod how I feel or cost.

So I will regularly ask “everyone ok with the temp? Or would you like cooler or warmer?”

I have the thermoset at 19.5, but happtnwoth whatever suits guests.

RestingGrinchFace · 28/12/2017 08:40

It's possible that they didn't realise that it was too cold. I actually find 19 too warm and prefer colder temperatures with slippers and jumpers.

LakieLady · 28/12/2017 09:20

MIL's house is always baking, and she's always asking if everyone's warm enough. SIL's house is always freezing and she never asks!

I can't bear being cold. And it makes my arthritis more painful. Sadly, a lot of my clients can't afford to keep their homes warm all day, and I sometimes end up spending a whole day going from one icy house to another. I plan my visits close together, to keep my mileage and travelling time at a reasonable level, so my car often doesn't have time to get warm between visits.

There were a few days earlier this month where I was really cold all day, and the only way I could get warm when I got home was to get into bed with the electric blanket on. A friend crocheted me a couple of pairs of fingerless mittens, so that I can have warm hands and still write/use my phone, and they are an absolute godsend.

My thermostat is at a balmy 22.5 atm, I'm wearing tracky bottoms, thick long-sleeved t-shirt and a fleece, and I'm just at a comfortable temperature!

kaytee87 · 28/12/2017 09:31

14 degrees is far too chilly to be sitting still in a house. Most people are comfortable between 16-20

vickibee · 28/12/2017 09:34

Central heating is quite new really, all we had growing up was a coal fire in the living room and a back boiler for hot water. Ice formed on the inside of the windows. You wrapped up and took a hot water bottle to bed.

Mumsymcmumface · 28/12/2017 09:38

I would put money on the people who have their houses at 20 plus being the same whoppers who have the car set to 20 something in winter and aircon at 16 in the summer

Feb2018mumma · 28/12/2017 09:38

Our Christmas we went to MIL house I kept saying was too hot, my DH and BIL sat outside because they felt sick and I went on to throw up from 11pm-3am once we got home! She didn't believe we were warm!!! Was so sick had to take the next day off work and don't get paid sick! I feel like I don't want to go back before baby comes because made me so ill!!! Think it's hard because everyone gets used to their own home, I normally have the thermostat on 10 and my fire if it gets cold so MIL would probably freeze at mine!

turbohamster · 28/12/2017 09:53

I would put money on the people who have their houses at 20 plus being the same whoppers who have the car set to 20 something in winter and aircon at 16 in the summer

Nope, climate control in my car is set at 21 degrees all year round

Piggywaspushed · 28/12/2017 10:01

I don't have climate control in my car Confused
My thermostat (in the hall) is on about 21. I am lucky enough to have a separate heating zone upstairs and tend to keep the heating off up there. But also use timers so the heating downstairs is not on 24 hours!

10 degrees is far far below what the DoH recommends. Why is everyone feeling so competitive about this??

It was on the front of The Times today how many people the authorities are concerned about because of cold weather. It explicitly stated that a house should be kept at 18 degrees. (obviously they know that this is not possible for some people and theses are the very people they will be worried about : the elderly and the vulnerable)

FuzzyCustard · 28/12/2017 10:02

grumpysquash Cornwall.

Piggywaspushed · 28/12/2017 10:04

The people who have their thermostats on13 surely realise that isn't your actual house temperature? It's the temp my upstairs thermostat is on to basically prevent the heating form coming on! The actual temperature up there ranges from 17 to 22 depending on other factors!

Bobbinsandthread · 28/12/2017 10:10

I think if you can see your breath
It's too bloody cold to be sitting around in.

I'm fairly strict with ours and will switch it off a fair bit even when it does come on, especially if you aren't sitting around. I also won't put it on extra once dc go to bed as it's not fair they've gotten all wrapped up.

MIL house was like a furnace - used to make me gag. Strangely she got colds all the time, sure it's related. Used to be permenantly dehydryed there.

If I had visitors esp with small children I would make sure it's on and warm though

bananafish81 · 28/12/2017 10:33

I would put money on the people who have their houses at 20 plus being the same whoppers who have the car set to 20 something in winter and aircon at 16 in the summer

Don't have a car, sorry

I cannot bear a cold house

If I have to wear jumpers and two pairs of socks in bed under a massive thick duvet, then getting changed feels like torture - if I'm staying in a cold house then I have to psyche myself up for having a shower, because I'm going to have to take my multiple layers off. And get out of the shower naked into a cold room!

If I have to wear multiple layers in bed under a duvet, then I'm wearing several jumpers out of bed, which means I'm basically dressed for outside, inside!

We have temp set to 20-22 bare minimum

And heating in the bathroom whacked right up to subtropical so it's nice and toasty when you haven't got any clothes on!

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 28/12/2017 10:43

Ours is on 23-24 all winter. We're end terrace with no insulation and once the house gets cold it takes forever to warm up again. We've got a Nest thermostat so we can control it easily.

apostropheuse · 28/12/2017 11:40

I grew up in a house with a coal fire in the living room and no form of heating anywhere else in the house (1960s Scotland). Not only could you see your breath inside, but all the windows iced over on the inside (apart from the living room). It was miserable, even with copious blankets and hot water bottles. Thankfully I don't need to live like that now, so my house is lovely and warm all through the day and night in winter. I do turn my bedroom radiator down a bit lower at night though.

I refuse to be miserably cold again and probably wouldn't visit someone whose house was that cold, unless of course they literally couldn't afford to heat it.

Motoko · 28/12/2017 17:49

It's all very well going on about houses in the past having no central heating, but they did have ONE room warm, with a fire on. I also remember those days,and we also had an electric heater, high up on the wall in the bathroom. It didn't make the room toasty, but it did take the chill off the air.

The people (not those in poverty) with heating thermostats set really low, do they have no other heating, even in one room? If they don't, it can't really be compared to the old days.
We have a CalorGas fire for when our oil runs out, and an oil filled radiator for upstairs. I wish we could use our fireplace, but the chimney needs lining which we haven't been able to afford so far. We would like to get a stove at some point though.

Maireadplastic · 28/12/2017 18:19

I hate heating at night.

OJZJ · 28/12/2017 18:59

Bloody hell who thinks 16degrees is warm I have mine between 22 and 30!!! I'm fact i have argued with my boiler frequently as the bloody liar tells me it's up to temperature ....

pollythedolly · 28/12/2017 19:05

Mines on 30. 😛