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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU - heating for guests

388 replies

ifonly4 · 27/12/2017 19:15

Went to BIL's for Boxing Day and the house was freezing. They asked if we were warm enough, DH said he was a bit cold so they said they'd put the heating on low. We had our lunch in conservatory and in afternoon we noticed that we could see everyone's breath in the lounge. I then spotted a temperature gauge, 14c. AIBU, but this was far too cold for guests? Have to admit we tend to have temperature around 19c when we have guests.

I don't think it's got anything to do with money. We invited them here but BIL's wife loves entertaining and insisted we go to them. Food was lovely two choices, veggies, salad, bread and two pudds to choose from (better than what I'd have offered in all fairness), so it's not as if they'd invited us under pressure.

OP posts:

nannykatherine · 28/12/2017 23:16

ha ha me too
i leave the thermostat at that so my old house never cools down so when i walk in it's warm

Branleuse · 28/12/2017 23:19

my house doesnt go above 19 degrees even if i have heating on constantly. Its a bloody cold house.
Nice and cool in the summer, but freezing in winter. I wear a lot of layers and have bought uggs this year to wear in the house

Bluntness100 · 28/12/2017 23:31

To open all the windows and leave the heating on low just because cooking makes you hot is bloody inconsiderate in my view

I was guilty of this on Boxing Day. I had eleven of us and was cooking Xmas dinner, and moving around a lot so was hot. I also had a fire going in the living room. I think I'm also goIng through Perimenopause, so get hot at times, Our guests started saying it was fucking cold. I usually have the house roasting but realised it hadn't been on all day and it's a big old house and hard to heat, so they must have felt it quite acutely. I was actually quite shocked and a little embarrassed and immediately put the heating on, but genuinely didn't feel it as hadn't given it any thought and was Dealing with other stuff.

So I agree with you, it's inconsiderate, but easily done if you're feeling overly warm.

Firesuit · 28/12/2017 23:42

Surely you understand the idea that without heating on the temperature indoors will become only a degree or two above outdoors?

I once had the boiler break down when there was snow on the ground outside. 24 hours later the thermostat was clicking at the 15 degree mark. It's a well-built modern flat, and in addition to body-heat, every electric devices energy consumption will ultimately end up as heat, I think.

Firesuit · 28/12/2017 23:50

I'm confused about what people think will keep the house warm if the heating isn't on? If it's zero outdoors does everyone really think a bit of cavity insulation and body heat will keep the temperature raised by 10 degrees or more!?

I seem to remember reading that if a house is built to the highest possible insulation standards, you won't need the heating on even when there's six feet of snow outside. (Test was done in Norway, I think.)

The kind of standard we are talking about is where the whole property is airtight and is ventilated with electric fans via a heat-exchanger system which extracts heat from the outgoing air and pumps it into the incoming air.

I do think my flat will stay possibly 10 degrees above outside without help from heating, but it's an unusually well-built modern flat, see my previous post.

Firesuit · 28/12/2017 23:54

It's not just body heat, it's every electrical item you use. The TV will be good for 150 watts, a computer 70-100 watts, any heat from cooking, running a washing machine or dishwasher. Every single light bulb. (Well they are probably less help if they are low-energy.) I think all the energy consumed by every device ultimately turns into heat. (Even the fridge will be a creator of heat!)

Firesuit · 28/12/2017 23:56

To be fair, I doubt 95% of British housing is built to a standard where the temperature will be more than a few degrees above out-doors, without the help of deliberate heating.

DailyMailReadersAreThick · 28/12/2017 23:58

We have the heating on a little low for most people, and I'm always conscious of that when we have guests. People are often too polite to say they're not comfortable, so I keep an eye out for body language. It's easy to tell when someone is cold, I think. I'd whack it up a few degrees the moment I noticed someone wasn't warm enough.

I wouldn't invite people round if I was too tight to make them comfortable. And if I couldn't afford it, I would warn them beforehand and not get the hump if they wanted to not come or to leave early.

Kursk · 28/12/2017 23:58

In the Autumn we try and “thicken our blood” by not lighting the fire. By this point of the winter 0c seems like a warm day

Gwenhwyfar · 28/12/2017 23:59

Firesuit - I think you're right about proper insulation, but then you start to get problems with air circulation, getting fresh air in.
As for all appliances creating heat, well I'm sure they do, but only the oven gives out noticeable heat. I'd be pretty upset if I went to someone's house and they said 'we won't have any heating, but I'll turn on the lightbulb and the telly'.

Gwenhwyfar · 29/12/2017 00:00

DailyMail - you sound like a good host. I will sit there with my coat on and some people still won't put the heating on.

OJZJ · 29/12/2017 00:06

FuzzyCustard and IHaveACuntingPlanand anybody else on a low income (only as far as page3)
Are you aware of the warm homes discount. You apply through your energy provider and get £140 towards your bills usually paid around March as covers your winter bills or if you are on a prepayment meter you get a 140 cheque or credit in advance that you take to the place you topyour card up and they credit it with the 140. You have to meet certain criteria ie child under 5, disabled child of any age or disabled adult and are on benefits or income below 15 or 16k or over 65?
there are a few other categories. It's worth looking into as it's not widely advertised and my BIL is raising my severely disabled nephew with Cerebral palsy and only found out about it last year even though it's been available since 2011 and it really helped him out as prepayment meter all electric and living up north etc.
Also pp meters cost about 28% more than Dd as we all know but EDF will take customers on dd without doing credit checks and reguarly tell you of offers (it was EDF who made me aware of the warm home discount when I switched to them as I had a child under 5 at the time)

HopefulForToday · 29/12/2017 00:06

Surely you understand the idea that without heating on the temperature indoors will become only a degree or two above outdoors?

No chance.

Our home is well insulated. It's currently 8 degrees outside and inside is cosy - and we've not had the heating on all day. I don't know the actual temperature but it's a lot higher than 9 or 10 degrees I can assure you!

LemonysSnicket · 29/12/2017 00:33

I put mine up to 23 for guests ( inaccurate as underfloor)

But then whenever I’m at my mums , which has great heating, I always switch it off because I get too hot! It’s on 15.

If you were cold ask for a jumper ... they’ll get the hint. Or we offer numerous throws and blankets ... which work x

BothersomeCrow · 29/12/2017 00:58

My house is now well insulated and stays around 20 quite easily, but used to have a crap extension which would be the same temperature as outside - opening the fridge would feel warm and turns out olive oil starts to solidify under 4 degrees.

My parents like it cold (mum can't cope over 22) but put heat on for the baby when I had ds. Who is 9 but still needs heat apparently and I'm not arguing!

Grah0SoontobeaFitty · 29/12/2017 01:06

-21c to -30c outside here and we like the furnace thermostat in the hallway to be 17c during the day and 14c over night.

When a friend comes round we put the heating up to 20c and give her a heated Seed bag which keeps her warm under her jumper while we sit in t-shirts. If we go round her house, we walk from the car with the coats open to chill right down and enjoy the +23c and she still has her jumper on.
Her bills are about 50 pounds a month more than ours for heating. so not a lot of savings just how you feel comfortable.

Alleycat1 · 29/12/2017 06:11

I haven't rtft . Do they have antique furniture? A friend works at a stately home and 14 degrees is recommended so that the furniture doesn't dry out and crack.

EvilDoctorHogmanayDuck · 29/12/2017 06:16

Alleycat my DGPs were known as the Yetis because they didn't have central heating. They were ex librarians, and it would have "damaged the books". We know another librarian who says: "Fuck the books. Keep warm."

Natsku · 29/12/2017 06:26

when we got home today the house was 6c before we lit the fire. We are up to 15 now

Brrr, reminds me of the winter I spent living in an old grandmother cottage that was only heated by wood fires - would wake up in the morning and it would be around 7 or 8C inside, I'd light the kitchen fire and it would slowly creep up to about 16C or so. In the basement and upstairs (which we didn't use) it was below zero.

via a heat-exchanger system which extracts heat from the outgoing air and pumps it into the incoming air.

That's an air heat-pump which is a kind of heating system (I have one)

Lollipop30 · 29/12/2017 06:28

Definitely say something. I hate our house being too hot and currently have the upstairs windows open! I’m aware other people like it warmer but my boiling is probably someone else’s chilly still. Nothing to do with heating costs I just don’t like it hot but if a guest said they were cold I’d turn it up (I probably wouldn’t notice otherwise)

Bloodybridget · 29/12/2017 06:56

God, it's horrible being in a cold house. Unless I'm moving around a lot, I need heating at 20 at least, no matter how many layers I'm wearing. Very rude to invite people round and subject them to freezing temperatures

Alleycat1 · 29/12/2017 07:25

Evildoctor Ha, ha. Keeping warm gets my vote too!

TheDailyMailIsADisgustingRag · 29/12/2017 09:28

Surely you understand the idea that without heating on the temperature indoors will become only a degree or two above outdoors?

Ours rarely gets to below 16 inside, even without heating. We’re in a modern mid-terrace in SE England though and it seems to be quite well designed to keep in heat.

My dad is in a detached, Victorian house in a north westerly part of the uk and it needs to be heated or everything just freezes.

Chattymummyhere · 29/12/2017 09:37

Regarding heating and the summer my house is quite weird. We will have to have the windows opens and fans on and the house won’t drop below 28 if it’s been sunny, the back of the house is in the sun all day. Winter however my house is so drafty it doesn’t hold the heat it makes no sense to me.

KylieMinoguesHotPants · 29/12/2017 10:47

I would rather go without food than be cold. I hate it. As a child and in the early years of marriage had no central heating, the windows would freeze on the inside and we would just sit practically on top of the coal fire. That was abject misery to me. I have my thermostat set to 21 all year round and turn it down to 15 at night. Being cold is not an option. If I went to someone's house and they had their thermostat set to 14 I would have to comment how cold I was all the time, and how normal people have their thermostat's set to 20. I don't understand, either, how people with money drive gas guzzling cars but are content to sit in the cold.

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