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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Children freezing in buggies

306 replies

goody2shooz · 27/12/2017 15:31

Would you sit outside on a chair for an hour in the current weather, wearing leggings and a mid thigh-length jacket, no hat, gloves or blanket? No? Thought not - so why do so many people keep putting children in buggies without enough proper warm clothes/blanket etc!!?? Just been for a walk today in 1degree cold weather, wind chill makes it feel like -4. Came across a granmother standing chatting to two friends. All dressed in gloves, hats and parka types COATS cos of the cold weather. Little tot in pushchair facing into the cold wind wearing leggings and a jacket. Her little hands looked frozen- like the rest of her. I said (nicely)to the woman that the lo looked v chilly. Was ignored. tried again and was ignored. Wibu to mention anything? I am amazed that so many people seem unaware that a small person sitting still in a buggy needs more layers under and over them than the person keeping warm pushing the buggy. I feel so bad for these tots i keep seeing with pinched faces and blue hands. :(

OP posts:
Ohmyfuck · 28/12/2017 22:42

But surely if your child didn't want to/wouldn't wear gloves for ANY reason, you wouldn't sit outside with them in the freezing weather? Surely you'd get them inside as soon as possible? It's not right that they're left in a buggy with no covers in the cold.

DeadMorose · 28/12/2017 22:53

Spikey, should’ve attached them further inside, so the mittens would be actually tightly on. Even if it’s elastic, I don’t see baby being strong enough to pull them off that way.

Want2bSupermum · 28/12/2017 22:58

nanny It's an absolute rule in this household. It is awful to be late because the DC refuse to follow their chart. Once set up though it isn't too bad.

Spikeyball · 28/12/2017 23:00

Some children are very good at removing things they don't want/ find upsetting. He could also remove tightly laced orthopaedic boots with one well aimed kick on his buggy footplate.

PasstheStarmix · 28/12/2017 23:22

To be fair I think the child OP saw was very inappropriately dressed for the cold weather by the sounds of things. I reckon If there was a foot muff/cosy toes or a warm
blanket even this thread wouldn't have been started. It's a sad fact of life that there are parents that take their dc out inappropriately dressed for the given season and no this isn't always due to the babies themselves taking it off.

NobodyKnowsTiddlyPom · 28/12/2017 23:40

Mine would wear hats/gloves/buggy snuggles etc when they were little in the pushchairs but my youngest, who is now at school doesn't seem to feel the cold at all. He wears shorts and polo shirt to school as he won't wear trousers and refuses to wear his jumper (although I make him take it in his bag).
During the school christmas performance, at church, when it was about -4 outside, he was the only one stood up at the front in a tshirt and shorts and several parents commented on the 'poor freezing mite' up there. I was mortified!

MyBabyIsPerfect · 29/12/2017 00:15

I’m sure people think this about my baby, but he runs really hot and needs less layers than me. If I dress him in as many layers as myself he overheats and gets a terrible heat rash. Sometimes I feel judged when people look at him, I assume they are thinking he doesn’t have enough clothes on but even in the depths of winter he overheats if wearing a jumper inside.

lalalalyra · 29/12/2017 00:29

How can we comment that leggings are inappropriate - we haven't any clue what the child had under them for a start. Same with under the jacket. For all we know there was thermals and warm tights to make up for the glove/hat refusing.

CheshireChat · 29/12/2017 01:01

PasstheStarmix You'd make DS really poorly and overheated if you dressed him like that.

BeverlyGoldberg · 29/12/2017 01:07

My DD would only tolerate a foot muff and warm winter coat. Gloves and hats would be removed and catapulted... until I got her a Paw Patrol hat and then she wouldn’t take it off, to the point that she broke into a sweat once we’d returned home.

She was never outside in her buggy long enough to get cold but it did cross my mind I was probably being judged.

CheshireChat · 29/12/2017 01:12

For older kids, getting them clothes they like is absolutely the way to go.

DS happily wears his gloves because they have ghosts on them and the scarf (snood actually) because it has Paw Patrol. It's not a battle I want if it can be avoided.

Bubbaleo · 29/12/2017 04:12

I'm truly shocked at the number of posters who seem to feel that any show of concern from strangers is a personal attack, to the point they want to verbally "attack" back. In some countries it's normal for strangers to help each other with kids/issues, etc. What's wrong with simply saying dc just will not keep warm clothes/covers on? You never know, you might get some good suggestions. Are we so far gone in this country now that we can't even talk to each normally? In Spain, Italy and France I've had other women in cafes rocking my baby whilst I eat my meal in peace. UK parents are weird and so aggressive.

CheapSausagesAndSpam · 29/12/2017 04:14

Bubb Many people...myself included do NOT appreciate parenting "advice" from people who I have no idea who they are! Strangers don't get to comment on my children.

The ONLY time it's ok is if the child is in some imminent danger.

If I saw a child close to water for example...then I'd intervene.

My opinion on their outfit is not something which needs sharing.

Holding a baby in a cafe is NOT comparible to critisizing their outfit.

Louiselouie0890 · 29/12/2017 04:41

My son has a lot Ely warm fleeced parka but he refuses to wear gloves hats scarves.

Bubbaleo · 29/12/2017 05:44

CheapSausages, you've just proved my point.

Pluckedpencil · 29/12/2017 05:51

I have a blanket refuser. She likes gloves but only for taking on and off and singing finger songs. I do try to enforce the hat. I tend to make her walk a bit and carry her a bit while pushing the buggy empty, but it is very hard work because she is nearly 2 and gets heavy after 10 minutes walking! I have also bought fleecy lined leggings. I would tell you about the blanket refusal if you commented or her being cold to me but honestly you will only make people more entrenched in their positions if you comment sadly.

CheapSausagesAndSpam · 29/12/2017 05:52

No I haven't. Your "point" was an opinion...not a fact to be proved.

Sirzy · 29/12/2017 06:27

Criticising someone parenting isn’t helping them though.

Pluckedpencil · 29/12/2017 06:46

I actually agree with bubblio about UK parenting. I can't comment for the whole of the UK, but at least in England, there seems to be this conceitedness that we can't possibly make mistakes with regard to our children, we have nothing to learn, no one is allowed to comment or criticise ever on anything. Sorry guys, but you live in the real world and other people live here too and they might want to say something if they are concerned for another human being, whether they are your child or not! Don't be offended and get aggressive, just explain fgs! No one is perfect and maybe they can teach you something new, maybe not! Not sure why it is ok for people on the internet to judge and comment but woe betide if someone speaks to you in rl!!

Sirzy · 29/12/2017 06:49

Why should anyone need to explain themselves to a nosey stranger though? I wouldn’t get annoyed or agressive - I would just walk off and ignore them!

ZoopDragon · 29/12/2017 06:50

Criticising someone parenting isn’t helping them though

It might make them think. Some people dress kids inappropriately through not thinking, or not checking a forecast, or forgetting the foot muff/hat/spares. Next time they leave the house on a cold winter's day, they might remember the comment of a stranger and be better prepared. When DD was around 1, I took her out on a sunny autumn day without a proper coat, just a gilet. By afternoon the weather had changed and I had to wrap her in my cardigan. A lady at the bus stop commented 'she looks cold, hasn't she a coat?' I was mortified. It stung. But she was right and I was better prepared next time.

If they won't keep a hat on, try a hooded cardigan/hooded fleece under their coat, with the hood up before you zip up the coat so they can't take it off. Tights under trousers or fleece-lined trousers or an all in one. I haven't figured out how to keep gloves/mittens on yet, any ideas?

Spikeyball · 29/12/2017 07:08

"What's wrong with simply saying dc just will not keep warm clothes/covers on?"

Well people have done that on here and have still had people telling them they wouldn't allow it and it is poor parenting. It is much easier to avoid all that yet again and tell the judgemental to go away because people are going to judge and criticise no matter what you say.

sashh · 29/12/2017 07:11

I spent a lot of time in my childhood removing coats or, once old enough, telling my mum that no I wasn't cold.

I can't remember the last time I wore a coat other than a denim jacket, I know I took one with me to my mother's funeral but didn't wear it.

Mum died at new year and the roads were icy.

Some people are just not cold.

Coloursthatweremyjoy · 29/12/2017 07:15

Oh I hate this...Judgy, nosy people with nothing better to do..They never have any clue what's going on.

DS despises hats, gloves, coats and jumpers. He is 11 now and walked around town in the snow yesterday with a t shirt on. I can insist on trousers...now! He had a coat but he carried it. Not for his benefit I might add but to reduce the tutting from other people!

When he was buggy age he would cry and scream and tear off hats and gloves. He could tolerate the snow suit if tired or it was very very cold but not the gloves. He would arch his back and screech himself hoarse trying to push them down. Yes I'm the parent and I could wrestle him into these things and ignore the noise...but he was distressed, why would I ignore that for the sake of strangers opinions? Now that would be neglect wouldn't it?

As for the rain cover. Plenty of people said "mine have it on no option". Nice for them but he hated it so much he kicked a hole in two. Wet he was calm. Now I would say..."lets get a big roll of plastic and wrap you in it even over your face so you can't breathe very well Then well let it get all steamed up so you can't see and it runs with condensation. No? Well that's what it feels like for him!"

We now know he has Autism and sensory issues. I've grown a thicker skin over the years but clueless people in the street and other people's perfectly compliant children get my goat. "Mine just do it." Good for You.

Mind your own business!

Want2bSupermum · 29/12/2017 07:19

I'm laughing re reading through this thread. It's -15c and the heat is ON. I have DD2 in bed with us wearing her elder sisters my little pony fleece with a hood (has cute little ears!). DH checked on her and she was cold so she is in with us. We put the elder two in the same bed with the dog (a golden who is like a radiator) as their body heat will help keep them warm.

We aren't even outside! This is bloody bedtime.

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