Did turning 40 make you want to get pregnant?

[ReallyConvolutedCareerHistory]

I'm turning 40 on July. I don't have a child. Never wanted one until, well, today.

I was alone, just washing dishes, and suddenly thought I want to get pregnant next year.

I'm married. We have a good marriage. But we just didn't really have the urge to have kids. Always thought I didn't want to have children.

I was worked up two years ago, and everything was good. The GP wanted the work up, not me.

Should I trust this feeling?

Posting here for traffic.

I'm 40 in May, and currently sat with my gorgeous little 3wk old baby snuggled on my knee, never felt like I wanted kids before and now can't imagine life without him 💙

I have two children and had definitely finished having children. Then at 43 I had a surprise pregnancy-which ended in miscarriage at eleven weeks. I am about to turn 45 and still can't get rid of the mess that it left in my mind.

Wow! So many of you just like me. I'm 41 and think about this all day and night. It's one of those things I put off and turning 40 finally made me realise time has run out. DH isn't convinced though....good luck to you OP and well done all of you 40 something new mothers. You have given the rest of us some hope. Very heartening indeed

I think a decision like that should be carefully considered. I really wanted kids and after some degree of difficulty I was lucky to have two of my own. One at 36 & one at 39. Although having them is very rewarding, they are really really hard work at times! It’s a lifestyle choice at the end of the day.

Got pregnant with my son (my only child) the day after my 40th birthday party !

Me turning 40 certainly made my partner broody lol.

Best decision I ever made! She's 17 now, only wished I'd started earlier because it was exhausting at the time & she missed out on me doing some things with her than younger mums would have been able to.

Genuine question: what do you think younger mums can do that older mums can't? I see this sort of comment all the time on the Daily Fail. I had DC at 39 and 41 and of course I was exhausted but the young mums in the park didn't exactly look full of beans either!

Best decision I ever made! She's 17 now, only wished I'd started earlier because it was exhausting at the time & she missed out on me doing some things with her than younger mums would have been able to.

What did she miss out on? Honestly?

I had DD1 at 42 and DD2 at 43, they're now 14 months and 2.7 years and I'm 44. I've found being older an advantage because I cherish my time with them. Yes they are hard work, yes I am knackered most of the time and I often wonder if I would have more energy if I was younger but I take them to play groups, soft play, the park, walks every day, swimming, music class and toddler sensory. The only difference I have found, and I've got to be honest here although I will probably upset people, is I often see the younger mums sit at play groups or in the park glued to their phones whereas I've found older mums seem to be more engaged with their children.

The only thing that turning 40 helped me with on the baby question was that people finally stopped asking me when I'd have one. It was as if I'd known my own mind all along....

I would trust the feeling. There are a lot of great things about having children.

I had a deadline in my head to have my second child before I turned 41. Luckily I made it by 14 days exactly!

No, it was the year we put permanent birth control in place :o but we already had 3 kids and know another pregnancy would be very high risk due to surgical history.

A friend had her first at almost 40 having got to her 39th birthday certain she didn't want children and having the "a switch flipped" feeling. She'd also been in a happy child free marriage for a long time, and had a successful and demanding career. She was so sure about her sudden change of heart that she resigned from her job and they put their flat on the market and bought a house, soon as she'd talked it over with her DH... Very luckily she got pregnant straight away and their son is a teen now, as it was certainly a big gamble based on a gut feeling!

We adopted our boy 6 months ago at the age of 41, best thing I ever did!
Go for it!!
Always been a career woman, unable to conceive naturally!
It is tiring as an older mum, but best reason to be tired!
Good luck

@ferntwist - sorry to derail
But may I ask more? I have uterus didelphys (two wombs) and a vaginal septum which the drs would like to remove- did you have something similar?
If it’s too personal I understand

Hi Mollie I had a uterine septum dividing my uterus almost in two. Now thankfully removed after two ops and I’m 14 weeks pregnant. Please message me if you’d like any info or to chat!

Hi fern I’ve messaged - thank you

I appreciate youve posted here for thoughts and support... but really only you and your husband can decide .
I can say that my kids are the best thing that ever happened to me.
Also the most hard work frustrating worry creating financially draining and emotionally exhausting.
But i love them mote than anything in tne world. And never once wondered if they were a good decision.
If youre both ready for all that.. then i wish you luck health and happiness.
X

I was very happy to be pregnant on my 40th birthday, but sadly lost that baby at 20 weeks. Like Whatabanana, this seriously messed with my head.

It hit me at 30 really. I was never really interested in other people's children and that hasn't changed much even after three of my own, though I do love tiny babies! The more it didn't happen for us (fertility problems) the more I wanted them. Our three came along when I was 34, 35 and 40 respectively. #3 was 'supposed' to arrive at 38/39 but Ma Nature hadn't finished bashing what by then I considered pretty successful baby-making skills, and I had two miscarriages. DS was 100% the baby I was meant to have though.

I suppose first off you need to know if your DH is on board with the idea. You may need to be prepared to go through months of disappointment, or it might happen very quickly. The risk of miscarriage is higher, and I think too, multiple births are more common with older women. It's a lifetime commitment, and a massive tie. It's hard work sometimes, and can be very unrewarding.

However, if you think you are up to all of the above.... and your DH is too, then go for it. I have never done anything in my life that I am more proud of, and they have (mostly!) filled my life with love, joy and purpose. I'm 54 and I can't imagine what my life would have been like if I hadn't had them.

Touchmybum I wasn’t able to have children - fertility problems like you - and I can assure you my life is not lacking in love, joy or purpose.

Jaygee I don’t think the pp was implying that no one can feel joy without children. She’s stating the way it made her feel. She also says it’s hard work and can be unrewarding!

Thanks Iggi999 - I was talking about me, "my life", not you, Jaygee61!!