Did turning 40 make you want to get pregnant?

[ReallyConvolutedCareerHistory]

I'm turning 40 on July. I don't have a child. Never wanted one until, well, today.

I was alone, just washing dishes, and suddenly thought I want to get pregnant next year.

I'm married. We have a good marriage. But we just didn't really have the urge to have kids. Always thought I didn't want to have children.

I was worked up two years ago, and everything was good. The GP wanted the work up, not me.

Should I trust this feeling?

Posting here for traffic.

Fair enough. It should be something you positively decide to do, not just because you think you ought to.

Why are you doubting your feelings? If you want a baby try for a baby. There's no right or wrong answer.

That sounded cold. So I will just add that having kids and being a mum has been the BEST part of my life.

Go for it, op, if that's how you feel.

I'd never really been bothered about being a mum, then conceived at 44 after being told I couldn't, Ds arrived shortly after my 45 birthday.

He's the most fabulous, infuriating, funny person and I can't imagine life without him now. Even if he can be a sulky little toad sometimes.

Honestly, no matter what else, you’ll never regret having a child. You may regret it if you don’t.

I never wanted kids. But now I’ve got them my life is richer for it.

Yes, that happened to me. Now have 2.

Some people do regret having children. I,ve read it on here often enough. No good pretending this phenomenon doesn’t exist. Just saying the OP needs to be sure. It’s the most life changing and irreversible decision she’ll ever make so she shouldn’t make it on a whim.

How many fertile years of not wanting vs one day (if that) of 'wanting'? A bit more thought required methinks.

Honestly, no matter what else, you’ll never regret having a child.

A really dangerous myth. Lots of people bitterly regret having a child. It's just a taboo opinion to express.

I'd sit with it a few days OP and discuss with your husband, as well as take a realistic look at what it would mean to your life to become a parent (and if you're willing to go the IVF/donor egg route if it turns out you're already out of time fertility-wise). This is probably basically hormones, yes. That doesn't mean it would be wrong to decide you now want to ttc, but it does mean that it behoves you to consider the issue rationally as well. It can be hard to make the adaptation to being a parent after so long with adult freedom.

Perhaps find a good counsellor and explore how you both feel? (There are some excellent ones attached to fertility clinics who are ace on working through reproductive choices with couples and may also work privately?). Don't hang around...egg quality declines markedly in your late 30s and plummets in your 40s. Your window of opportunity is closing (if you want to use your own eggs).

One day of wanting is nothing. I’d spend longer deciding I wanted a new coat.
It’s great that your tests were all good but do be aware this isn’t a guarantee that you can carry a baby to term. I’m fertile as fuck but still had several miscarriages in my early 40s. Best of luck whatever you decide.

not at all.

I have it on good authority that the broody feeling goes away if you just wait a bit.

Having a baby to get rid of the broody feeling is, IMO, like getting a tattoo to get rid of an itch.

"Today 11:19 Lovestonap

Why are you doubting your feelings? If you want a baby try for a baby. There's no right or wrong answer"

I mean, bringing a new person into the world you'll have responsibility for for decades to come should probably involve more thought than 'if it feels good do it'

Lots of people regret having their kids OP. Don't rush into anything.

I was 12weeks pregnant on my 40th Birthday. DS was a bit of a miracle ( long story) and very wanted. We had given up trying so had to get our heads round it again. I have never once regretted having a child although I do regret that I was unable to have more than one. Having that decision to have anther child made for us meant we could get on with being parents.

It's pretty common, we've talked on here about it before quite a bit.

It's when you subconsciously hear the sound of the the door closing. Broodiness erupts out of nowhere for some people. It's possibly some weird hardwired biological function.

Happened to me, albeit at 38. Up till then I'd been utterly indifferent to kids. It didn't go away, but got worse and worse.

I had two kids by 41!

I had a baby at 42. I’d never been broody but being 40 did do something to me. Maybe my body telling me to do it before it was too late?

I had that desperate broodiness when I reached 38. I think my eggs were chanting 'last chance before we reach our expiry date'! I already had 3 DC though aged between 13 and 7 and absolutely no intention of having any more. Had youngest at age 38 and 9 months!

I would get the Christmas period over with and then think about it again. It's all about cherubs and kids at this time of year.

Two friends hit 40. Both pretty ambivalent abouts kids, started trying couple of weeks after their birthdays. Both said it was a wake up call that time was running out

This was me at turning 30!
I was always adamant I did NOT want any children.
Then when I was 30 I had a selfish thought - I didn't want to be an old lady with no family around me. I had many friends and family who said I was 'too old' as they had their children teens/early 20's. No age is old as long as you are healthy and can look after them when they arrive.

So I told DP and we had lengthly discussions. He always said he didn't want children either as he had a son very young that he didn't see anymore (does now but that's another story).
We agreed to wait a few years to try as we had a big holiday booked where we were attending a wedding abroad. I was convinced that it would take years, if it happened at all as I had been continuously on the pill since I was 15 and had no idea what my cycle was like before. Six weeks later I was pregnant so although planned was a complete shock to us - and to everyone else as we hadn't told anyone we were going to start trying!
And do you know, whilst I hadn't really had anything to do with babies (I avoided them if I could) I figured stuff out and have a happy, healthy, cheeky 2 year old who I love and wouldn't swap for the world! The best change of mind I ever made!

Yes. I was so broody when I turned 40, despite already having had 4 children for almost a decade and was happy we’d stopped at 4. I got a puppy instead.

No - but had 3 DC already.

Took about 6 years after thrid for DH and I to stop having broody bouts about a forth and that had been a few years before I hit 40.

We're both glad we didn't now.

I'd suggest seeing if the feeling persists and if it does talk to your DH then see where you are.

I was 34 weeks pregnant with my second at 40. Essentially you need to make a yes or no decision sooner rather than later. My obs had pregnant ladies over 45 but it's more troublesome. Good luck with your decision, does your partner want kids?

"you’ll never regret having a child."

How can you just declare that? Plenty of people do regret it.

Oh and to note, I didn't feel broody, I just changed my mind. It didn't make me want to hold other peoples babies even when I was pregnant. I still don't really want to hold them now. The start was hard as DS was premature and it was hard to bond with a baby in NICU also being poorly myself and I don't want more children. I just decided I wanted one and that was that, sensible or not.