Did turning 40 make you want to get pregnant?

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I'm turning 40 on July. I don't have a child. Never wanted one until, well, today.

I was alone, just washing dishes, and suddenly thought I want to get pregnant next year.

I'm married. We have a good marriage. But we just didn't really have the urge to have kids. Always thought I didn't want to have children.

I was worked up two years ago, and everything was good. The GP wanted the work up, not me.

Should I trust this feeling?

Posting here for traffic.

Yep, I turned 39 and the most powerful feeling of wanting a last child hit me hard. I think I only didn't because my children were in later teens and starting again was so very daunting. If they had been younger, nothing would have prevented me from trying.

I wonder if it's all the stuff you read about 40 being a cut off, or is it really your body clock giving you one last warning?

I keep having pregnancy dreams and I am almost forty-one.

On the subject of partners. My Dh said he wanted children eventually and so we were on the same page but even though it took us so long he still sometimes says he could have waited longer and would have preferred to have had more time being just us. He was 40 when he became a dad.

I know of two couples who are both around 40 who have different opinions on the subject. Both couples are just coasting along hoping the other one is going to back down.

Good luck op. Talk to your partner soon.

I've just turned 38 and have two kids already, 10 and 12. I thought I'd put all that behind me especially as I had the first two close together and it was hard work for a fair few years.
I'm divorced from their dad and have a new partner and he doesn't really want children.Logically and logistically I'm aware it would be a nightmare. But. All
Of a sudden I really really want a third child. I do t know where it's come from! I won't have one I should think-but it's making me really sad at the moment. Hoping that feeling will pass.

Mine was at 30. Had never wanted kids and it was like a switch had been flicked. It was all about the babies. Finally had a baby 4yrs later after convincing hubby, infertility and a miscarriage. My baby is 6 now and I am so glad we had her, she is gorgeous! However the craving to have a baby evaporated the instant she arrived and we didn’t have a second.

DonkeySkin, thank you for that blog link. As you say very incisive.

I’m a woman who never had children. It’s so bloody unfair, all these women just deciding at the last minute in fertility terms that they want a baby and having one just like that, and I start trying at 29, and can’t have any! But honestly life is not so bad. I have a stable and happy home life with a loving partner, for which I am very grateful.

Yes, completely. Had my first now desperately hoping for a second. Best decision we ever made.

I m 39 today actually (it’s my birthday!(! However I definitely don’t have the urge to be pregnant, but that’s probably because I have an almost 3 year old and a 19 month old (16.5 month age gap between) and I’m not sure I could face doing it again!

No but I'd had my 3 which is what I wanted by then.

I had my child at 40. We had been ambivalent about the subject throughout our marriage. Although, secretly, I felt like I wasn't fulfilling my purpose, not being a mother. We had/have a great life, travelled a lot, pleased ourselves, but I felt that something was missing and the feeling wouldn't go away. It was on holiday in Thailand, a beautiful country, having a great time, and I just saw families every where. And I wanted that. My DH apparently just needed me to want a child enough to allay his fear. We started trying and that was that. She is three now and is the best thing I have ever done (and I have done sone pretty cool things!). I am fucking knackered, and some times its pretty tedious, but I am so happy, deep down happy. Not going to have another one though, I reckon that would finish us off!

I have had lots of pets throughout my life and still do. It was a feeling that another cat, dog or horse wouldn't fulfil though.

I have three- my final kick in the ovaries was a few years ago when i got an overwhelming desire to double check with DH that we were finally done and past the baby stage and wouldn't want any more ( My youngest was only 2 or so)

was relieved when he said he was also very much over the stage.

we got a puppy

Yes! I didn't want a child until I turned 40 and then suddenly I did. I think I realised it would soon be set in stone and I may regret never having one. It was difficult to discuss it with DH as we had both been quite anti-kid. Turns out he felt the same. We decided to give it a try and throw the dice. I was shell shocked when DS arrived but he is the light of our lives and utterly adored. I still don't like other kids much though.
If you feel this way go with it.

Yup. I never wanted children before but once I hit 40, I do. I don't think I'll have any, I have genetic conditions and no partner, but I did think about adoption.

Yes, i think its your body trying to tell you something, i have 3dc youngest is 10 and have never felt broody till i hit 41 then that was all i could think about. I played it out in my mind, seduce the ex i haven't been with for 10 years, left him when i was pg with dc3. I wouldn't but i have thought about it just to get a baby. If i had one it would have a massive effect on the existing kids so i wont but still think about it. Hopefully it will pass soon..

it happened to me at around 37. I started to be obsessed with having a baby (having never had any interest before)

I already had 3 children by 40 but was desperate for my 4th before I hit 40...that didn’t happen but I did become pregnant at 40 and had no.4 at 41...my only non-clomid baby! I’ve had 4 c sections and found the 4th the easiest recovery...I’m no more knackered than with any of the others...

God no, and no, I don't have other children. It made me want to travel.

This is really really common. Even with women with kids. It is your brain telling you it is your last chance. So now or never.
It does not mean you should have kids though. Think carefully about it if you have never had the desire before.

Yes, it’s a reminder not an instruction.....
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It hit me at 40. I think because I realised I couldn't keep putting it off if it was what I wanted. I wouldn't change DD for the world but I absolutely loathed being pregnant.

I'm 40 this year and yes, both DH and I considered the option. We already have 2 small DC, were certain we were done, already sold all baby stuff and so on. We decided not to, but there's of course quite a difference between having 2 or 3 kids, and never having them at all.

Quite the opposite for me. I have four kids and thought I would definitely have one more before I turned 40. I turn 40 in the spring and I don’t want another baby. At times I wish I could slow down my kids growing up or go back for a while and relive certain moments but I also like the fact that as they grow up I can do more stuff. I am also yearning for my youth and at times think I am on the brink of a midlife crisis.

I do think it’s quite common to suddenly want a baby though - at any age.

Lost I was the same. I started saying I wanted another one before I left the delivery room :) (I had DD1 at 42 and DD2 at 43).

Certainly trust the feeling OP but don’t make any decisions on it until you have thought about the implications and discussed with your partner so you can be sure you are both on the same page. I left it very late before I decided I definitely wanted children and by the time we’d realised that it wasn’t going to ‘just happen’ it was very late and we needed interventions! We were incredibly lucky and I ended up having my gorgeous twin boys aged 46 (they have just turned 7). Exhausting and life-changing for sure, but I wouldn’t have it any other way, but appreciate that it is not for everyone. Good luck with whatever you decide x