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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel a tiny bit grumpy about my Christmas

127 replies

FluffyAnimalsRule · 26/12/2017 19:31

DH and I have house guests and PIL came over for Xmas Day so there were 9 of us for lunch. MIL was rude from the second she stepped through the door, served herself all her food while we were still taking things to the table and didn’t eat much so had finished before the rest of us had even had a single slice of turkey and then sulked that we were still eating. Even the DCs were waiting until everyone had food before they started!

Presented with cream and whipped brandy cream as the options to go with the xmas pudding (and so as not to drip feed there was a chocolate mousse cake for those that didn’t like xmas pud and she’s never eaten custard in the 20 years I’ve known her) she pushed her bowl away, stomped her foot like a three year old and said in the most obnoxious tone I’ve ever heard ‘I want custard. I’m not eating any until I have custard, where’s the custard.’ I repeated the cream options and said we hadn’t done custard. She literally ripped her cracker hat off and threw it on the floor along with her spoon and said ‘i’m Not having any then’. I didn’t want it escalating any further in front of DD1 (5) and DD2 (4) so I went to make custard and th n got DH to take it to the table as I would have thrown it at her. I remained in the kitchen and cleaned up from the main course, so I missed out on pudding. And I don’t want a debate about the fact that there should have been custard from the start - I’m aware that not everyone likes cream, but everyone that was at lunch likes, or has previously liked, cream rather than custard so I hadn’t made any.

Then after lunch MIL opened the box for one of the games that DD2 had got for Xmas, started playing with it herself and then lost some of the pieces and said ‘it’s going to be better without all the pieces anyway - they’ll have more fun with it’.

By the time PIL left I was thoroughly miserable and then the house guests wanted to watch TV programmes they knew I hated all evening and they are staying 3 more days. They won’t even get themselves a cup of tea despite me showing them where everything is, so i’m up and down every 2 minutes if they need anything.

AIBU to allow myself a few minutes of feeling sorry for myself, some chocolate that I don’t share with anyone and a glass (or bottle!) of wine.

OP posts:
Notreallyarsed · 26/12/2017 19:33

You’re a better woman than I OP, if anyone had done that at our Christmas dinner table they’d have been told not to be so fucking rude and ungrateful and not to let the door hit their arse on the way out! What did your DH say to his mum?

As for jumping every time guests want anything, fuck that, they’re guests not visiting bloody royalty!

PasstheStarmix · 26/12/2017 19:35

Your MIL sounds very much like me DF. He served himself food and started eating before me and dh has got our plates down and for our 10 month old DS's food to him as well. He said he was starving and couldn't get wait. He ate everything and more and then left the table while we were still eating ours and went in living room to sit down. He didn't even excuse himself and just said that was him and he'd have to sit through there. Mind you he has always been rude and has absolutely no mannors or etiquette so it didn't surprise me. He is becoming worse with age though.

PasstheStarmix · 26/12/2017 19:35

my*

PasstheStarmix · 26/12/2017 19:36

Weirdly he also wanted custard like your MIL. He did request this before the day though. I had cream pouring and whipped and ice cream but to buy flaming custard in as well when me and dh weren't even having that!

HolyMountain · 26/12/2017 19:36

Stop serving the house guests tea, if they want a drink they can get one themselves!

As for your MiL , what a nasty twat she is, is she usually so foul?

PasstheStarmix · 26/12/2017 19:36

had

PasstheStarmix · 26/12/2017 19:37

we had loads to do and ran around and he couldn't even take his water glass through into kitchen. I do love DF but by god is he lazy and rude!

Greenshoots1 · 26/12/2017 19:37

how old is she? could she be in the early stages of dementia? tantrums about custard are very odd

Mulberry72 · 26/12/2017 19:38

You’ve more paitence than me OP, she’d have been wearing the custard! Cheeky cow!

PasstheStarmix · 26/12/2017 19:38

I have a 10 month old baby and to be honest if he comes over again I'll be telling him to take his dishes in I'm sick of running around after people...

restofthetimes · 26/12/2017 19:39

Yanbu. My mum was muttering about the food being STONE cold and trying to put all our posh plates in the microwave when they have metallic details and can’t.
Cue a huge silk from her, and dh yelling “noooo@ when she tried to sneak it in. oh the fun

KarmaStar · 26/12/2017 19:39

OP,you're entitled to book yourself into a 5 star spa hotel and have room service !😊
Is there any possibility that your mil has early onset dementia or has she always acted like this?it is definitely unacceptable for a perfectly healthy adult.
As for your guests,next time they ask for a cup of tea,smile and say light hearted"I'm ok for now but certainly go ahead and make yourself one".
I can't imagine ever being so rude as to expect a host to run around after me.
Only 71 hours to goo OP,hold on in thereFlowers

YouTheCat · 26/12/2017 19:39

What does your dh say about her behaviour? Are the other visitors from your family or his?

IreneDunne · 26/12/2017 19:40

Has your MIL always behaved in similar ways or is this new behaviour for her?

PasstheStarmix · 26/12/2017 19:41

Honestly what is it with aging parents? They revert back to pre school! Infact I think ore schooler behave better!

PasstheStarmix · 26/12/2017 19:41

p

Bambamber · 26/12/2017 19:41

Should have told her to get her own fucking custard

AmateurSwami · 26/12/2017 19:42

Greenshoots1
how old is she? could she be in the early stages of dementia? tantrums about custard are very odd
Second this- not normal behaviour!

ChocolatePHD · 26/12/2017 19:44

You're more patient than me OP I'd have told her to shove her custard up her bumhole.

And do not get them a single cup of tea!!!

PasstheStarmix · 26/12/2017 19:44

If she wanted custard she should have said or brought it with her. She's a guest and should be grateful of what she got. You can't expect people to flipping well have every single food in. Maybe she should host next year and you could demand (rubs hands together) 'is that jersey cream MIL? Oh I only like jersey?' oh revenge would be so sweet.....

DeadGood · 26/12/2017 19:44

OP, no one is going to berate you for not providing custard, but I do think you’re in the wrong for a) making custard for someone behaving that badly and b) making cups of tea for your guests. Tell them to make them themselves!

glow1984 · 26/12/2017 19:44

When she said she wasn’t having it without custard, I would have said fine and served everyone else.

Don’t get anything for them, making tea isn’t hard!

Ullupullu · 26/12/2017 19:44

Has she always been like this? If so It's rude and weird to set a precedent for accepting this behaviour in your home in front of your kids. If not, is she getting on a bit and has dementia been suggested? It's not normal behaviour...

mumonashoestring · 26/12/2017 19:46

Good grief, is she always like this? I don't suppose your DH said anything to the mad old badger?

PasstheStarmix · 26/12/2017 19:46

DH needs to reign his DM in and have firm words....

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