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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Does you cook with wine for your toddler?

209 replies

missladybird · 26/12/2017 12:35

Slightly panicking about dd having beef gravy with red wine yesterday. I have bad anxiety and alcohol is a massive trigger due to my childhood and living with an alcoholic. I would never ever serve food cooked in wine but didn't realise yesterday until it was too late.

Am I overreacting or would you freak out too?

OP posts:
DoculamentDoculament · 26/12/2017 18:10

Why have a thread if you don't want to listen?

Kitsharrington · 26/12/2017 18:13

You haven’t given them alcohol because there is no alcohol in it once it’s cooked. read the responses here and try to be rational.

Weedsnseeds1 · 26/12/2017 18:18

Because under the quantitative ingredients declaration regulations ( QUID) manufacturers have to level identifying ingredients. Either something you would reasonably expect to find in a product of a given name, or something the manufacturer has included in the title of the product to give it extra " cachet", make it sound superior to a si.ilar product.
For example " cottage pie with vintage west country farmhouse cheddar topping". You QUID minced beef, even though it's not in the name, because cottage pie is made with beef mince.
You also QUID the cheddar as it's mentioned in the name as a point t of difference.
In your gravy the beef stock or whatever will show a percentage because it's something you would expect in beef gravy. They also QUID the wine because it's the point of difference in the name over a standard beef gravy.
It's not the same as drinking wine, BECAUSE IT'S GRAVY.

Weedsnseeds1 · 26/12/2017 18:19

Declare not level.

buttfacedmiscreant · 26/12/2017 18:24

Think about taking 9 mils of wine and adding it to 91 mils of water and then boiling it (and therefore losing more alcohol from the wine)

How strong would that taste?
Like dishwater I would imagine, it would be so weak.

Kind of like how having a cup of warm milk with a tsp of mamas coffee in it at age two is not going to ramp up a caffeine high and is completely different from handing them a double espresso.

Weedsnseeds1 · 26/12/2017 18:25

Wine is 100% wine, with maybe 12 or 14% alcohol in it.
Gravy with 9% wine in it is beef stock with 0.5% give or take alcohol in it, that has been batch pasteurised in a factory,then heated again in your house. So has trace levels of alcohol, at best. And is then eaten in minute quantities.

juddyrockingcloggs · 26/12/2017 18:26

My 6 year old had a glass of Buck's Fizz with his dinner same as he did last year and he hasn't dissolved or exploded yet.

cricketqueen · 26/12/2017 18:27

Seriously you need to calm down. The amount of alcohol in the gravy is tiny and the amount your toddler ingested is smaller still. You need to talk to someone about this as you can't go throughout life getting this worked up, it's not healthy.

GinIsIn · 26/12/2017 18:35

There’s fluorine and chlorine in drinking water. You can see that’s not the same as drinking chlorine. You really do need to try and get a grip on this. Gravy won’t damage your child but this level of anxiety will. Can you speak to your GP?

SandSnakeofDorne · 26/12/2017 18:39

I give my baby risotto etc that I’ve cooked with alcohol. I wouldn’t give her that gravy because of the salt, but the alcohol won’t be a problem. Don’t worry about it.

Topseyt · 26/12/2017 18:49

Listen to the responses. You just obsessing over the wine element to the exclusion of all rational discussion.

ALCOHOL EVAPORATES DURING COOKING.

There will have been little or nothing of it left.

Sorry for shouting that, but you seem to be ignoring those who have said it.

I take it you give your child bread to eat at times?? You do realise don't you that bread dough is alcoholic whilst it is rising due to the interaction of the yeast and the sugar?? Bread itself is NOT alcoholic though because the alcohol evaporates totally during the cooking process. That is not a myth at all. It is the truth.

Are you getting help with your anxiety?

Original poster
missladybird · 26/12/2017 19:11

I don't know who to believe. The ones who say it's a myth or not

OP posts:
SimultaneousEquation · 26/12/2017 19:15

The boiling point of ethanol is 78C. The pot contains a minuscule amount of alcohol. Even if your toddler had drunk the whole pot raw, they wouldn’t be harmed.

Get. A. Grip.

rightsaidfrederickII · 26/12/2017 19:19

As a toddler, I was inadvertently given a glass full of fairly potent homemade wine that had been mislabeled as apple juice by a slightly dotty elderly relative.

I downed the lot and asked for more before the mistake was realised (!!)

I lived to tell the tale - I'm a fully functioning adult with a healthy relationship with alcohol, and this story is told as a funny story within my family.

Your child will be absolutely fine.

WunWun · 26/12/2017 19:21

IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE WHETHER IT'S A MYTH OR NOT. SHE IS FINE. WHAT MORE DO YOU THINK COULD POSSIBLY HAPPEN?

moita · 26/12/2017 19:23

I apparently drank Grandma's sherry one Christmas as a 3 year old. I lived to tell the tale. Please listen to sense.

iBiscuit · 26/12/2017 19:24

Even if the alcohol isn't burnt off, the quantity in a pot of supermarket gravy is miniscule. Like virtually homeopathic in potency.

If there was sufficient alcohol in that gravy to be remotely intoxicating or injurious, you'd have to show ID to buy it!

Topseyt · 26/12/2017 19:32

If it was a myth then bread would be alcoholic. It is not.

You seem determined not to listen though.

Your child is NOT harmed. Not in the slightest.

user1471450061 · 26/12/2017 19:36

Alcohol evaporates with cooking.

I do think you need to deal with the underlying issue of your relationship with alcohol because it's causing you to react like that.
Chances are your kid will drink at some point. Making it completely taboo because of what has happened in the past will not convince them not too.
Your kid having red wine gravy will not make them an alcoholic. But it's not a normal reaction to have a panic attack.
I hope you don't think I'm being a bitch.
Not everyone that drinks will become an alcoholic, but your current relationship with alcohol is just as bad.

Thumbcat · 26/12/2017 19:45

Your excessive anxiety is probably going to have a detrimental effect on your child if you don't get help for it. A drop of alcohol here and there will be nothing in comparison.

Weedsnseeds1 · 26/12/2017 19:53

I'm a food scientist who has worked in the food industry for the best part of 30 years, so if a scan of my degree, other qualifications and CV helps, I can PM it to you!

Original poster
missladybird · 26/12/2017 22:17

Weeds I appreciate you calculating it for me. I feel like I'm losing my mind. Fucking hate anxiety Sad

OP posts:
GaryBarlowsTaxReturn · 26/12/2017 22:29

Go and see a counsellor, this isn't healthy for you or your child.

Crispbutty · 26/12/2017 22:35

You really really need to see your gp, you can’t go on like this.

WineAndTiramisu · 26/12/2017 22:38

Your anxiety will be much more of a problem for your child than minute amounts of alcohol in a gravy. You need to seek help before it affects them.