What age did you stop DC coming in your bed?

[HCantThinkOfAUsername]

Title explains it really!

I've been called weird, my eldest son - nearly 5, will sometimes stay in with me, very rarely. Also my youngest (1) when he is poorly will come in my bed.

Is it time to stop them? I feel really stupid posting this but know I'll get the truth here.
Was really upset last night after several comments about it.

A few nights ago we ended up with our 7 & 4 year olds snuggled in between us. Unusual for the 7 year old, he only did it sporadically anyway, but the 4 year old often wakes up cold and favours nicking our body heat. He's a very snuggly, huggy child anyway.

They're both happy to hijack my bath if I dare to have one while they're awake. I work on the logic that they'll naturally withdraw at the point that their own embarrassment kicks in.

When we were told my Mum had less than 90% chance of surviving the weekend (she did) I got into bed with my Dad that night. I was in my mid 20s.

If you are your children are happy with the arrangement as they are safe then all is good.

DS17 still comes in for a snuggle while he opens his stocking on Christmas morning, or if he wants to talk about something. I coslept most of the time with my grandmother till I moved out at 18 even though I had my own room. I liked the company and she had a TV in her room so we would watch horror films late at night.

They're all welcome, 7 5 and 2 months. And regularly are all there 😂

chaos
I seem to have suddenly aquired grit in my eye reading your post.😀
Glad your mum recovered.

When either you or they want to.

Never.

Our eldest is 17, and if he needs a cuddle because he's sad or poorly or frightened, or he needs to talk, we will never turn him away. The same for all our dc. This means that dh and I always wear PJs in bed. We wouldn't choose to, but we don't want any of our dc to feel embarrassed about coming to us.

My older teen still likes to. I was the same. My dh has been annoyed about it but now just sees it as our family and the way we are. Dh family were very formal so it was alien to him. Our first born stopped when he reached about 3! They choose, you choose, doesn't matter what anyone else thinks at all.

My children see our bed as the ultimate place of comfort and safety I think. They turn up if they can't sleep, not well or just want a chat or cuddle. They are 9 and 13. I hope they will always feel comfortable enough to do it although they do know that Sunday mornings are sacred and it's not allowed until at least 11am 😀

For as long as they want to!

The last night of pregnancy!! Multiple dc and they have never slept in my bed.

I think he's weird for thinking it's weird. 5 is still so small for goodness sake!

I co slept with my mum til I was 10. I'm a perfectly normal functional human being.

My six and three year olds come in every night. We have a kingsize bed so it’s not really an issue. Our 9 year old will sleep with me whenever DH is out of town. “So I feel safe” she says 😄 I’ll never stop them, as a PP said, they’ll stop themselves. Eventually!

Elder child only when ill. Youngest was in with me pretty much every night until about 8. Then once a week or so until he was 11.
I miss those days.

They never have, bar the odd night when ill, but if you’re happy with it carry on.

They will always have a place in our bed, whatever age they are. We co-slept with DD until she was 3.5. She wanted to go into her own bed. We are still cosleeping with my DS at 2.5. We regularly have both in with us. We got a massive bed so we can all fit in comfortably. It’s not weird, it’s close and comforting. To me there is nothing quite so blissful as having everyone in our bed on a wild stormy night. This includes the cat on the end of the bed too.

My 9 yo had a nightmare and was in with us last night. Guess it stops when they move out to their own place !

They stopped co sleeping on a regular basis around 6yo.

The answer to your question is whenever it suits you. Who cares what other people do !

Assuming you are not actively moaning about children in your bed, most questions can be deflected by firmly repeating "This works for our family"

DS1 is 12 and has always been fiercely independent from the moment he was born. But last night at 5pm he was unwell and went straight into our bed and stayed there til 9am today. It's a rare thing for him to get into our bed but when he needs to, he knows he can.

DS2 is 6 and was like a limpet from the moment he was born; he just liked company and never slept til we put him in with us. He's had his own room and slept in there there most nights since around 2/3 but every so often I wake up and he's stealth-bombed his way in between us in the night. Again, he knows he can when he needs to.

I can't imagine ever banning them from our bed. The independent one and the co-sleeper are both happy, healthy, lovely children. Neither is clingy or needy or damaged by occasional co-sleeping; they're just different children and their needs are different, too.

Why on earth would you stop them? The last time DS got in with me he was about 14, and either scared or feeling sad, I can't remember which. I can't see why anyone would deny comfort and reassurance to their dc.

My DH is in one of the emergency services and so works shift..
2 days,2 nights,4 off.
Our DS can come in whenever he likes if he wants to.
But he only really tends to come in when DH is on nights so that(In his words( "You don't get lonely Mummy"

The answer is: when the child doesn’t want to anymore.

We have musical beds in this house most nights. DD is 4. She usually comes down very early in the morning and spends an hour or two in with us. If she’s stressed/tired/upset/ill she might start off and migrate back to her own or stay the course with us.

I have been known to climb into her bed with her if I’ve been feeling a bit low and needy or had a rough day....

That was a really low blow from your DP. Especially as your DC are hardly in your bed at all.