What age did you stop DC coming in your bed?

[HCantThinkOfAUsername]

Title explains it really!

I've been called weird, my eldest son - nearly 5, will sometimes stay in with me, very rarely. Also my youngest (1) when he is poorly will come in my bed.

Is it time to stop them? I feel really stupid posting this but know I'll get the truth here.
Was really upset last night after several comments about it.

I moved him into his own bed as his main sleeping place at about 2.2 but he was always welcome to come in for a cuddle, still would be - he hasn't wanted to past about 6 years old.

Sorry don't mean to drip feed but will explain more, it was my partner that said it was weird then said it to his gaily yesterday who agreed especially as dc are male. Felt really embarrassed tbh!
We work shifts and on his days off I do nights at my work. So I'm only home 4/5 days a week. When my partner does nights my eldest will have a film night and fall asleep in my bed or come in the morning for cuddles.

DD (11) still likes to sleep in with me when DH is away... I’ve no problem with it as she’s perfectly happy to sleep in her own bed too.

I’ll let her do it as long as she wants to.

*family

I've no intention of stopping them at any age. They're certainly not going to want to do it when they are teenagers, so it will come to a natural end itself.

Tell them to sod off they are just jealous that you have such a close relationship with your kids.
My 11yr old often wakes up in the middle of the night and comes in with me. He is quite happy to come in for a cuddle in the morning too. Long may it continue.
My teen has stopped now but sometimes i jump in bed with him for a cuddle and he will grumble as he is 'too cool' for that these days but he will give me a cuddle while laughing at the fact he is bigger than me😀
Nothing wrong with showing your kids you love them whatever thier age and its nothing to be embarassed about.

They're certainly not going to want to do it when they are teenagers, so it will come to a natural end itself.

Maybe they will want to do it as teenagers.

Oldest stopped at about 6-7ish. Youngest was in my bed every night until she was about 8. She's nearly eleven now and I still wake up to find her in my bed once every few weeks.

They'll stop on their own. I remember complaining about the youngest one to my mum once and her pointing out that it will pass. She's not gonna be twenty-six and crawling into my bed in the wee hours accompanied by her husband and her children.

That's really mean though what your partner did laughing about you to his family I think I would be really hurt by that, and truthfully it's quite hurtful to your ds too.

Not weird at all. I stopped bunking in with my parents at 11, I wasn't told not to, I just stopped. As a child I loved the security of it, but I'm sure my parents would've preferred not to have both daughters in their bed between them XD they never discouraged it though. It's lovely to have that relationship.

My dd sometimes sleeps in with me and she is 9 next month - but she suffers with anxiety and this is the reason why.

Silly people - why would it be weird? This child was in your body once!

3 months
But I don’t think you’re weird at all
Seems like I’m the unusual one, not you! 😀

DS has just about stopped getting in our bed- he's 7. He still gets in sometimes. He always goes to sleep in his own bed but he used to get in ours during the night every night. He's an only so he doesn't have a sibling to get in with- which I notice a number of my friends' children do. We bought a superking bed and DH and I have a duvet each which made sure we all slept. I wouldn't ever have told him he wasn't allowed.

How long have you been with your partner? I think it's one of those things you don't really understand until you have your own children. I once sat in a meeting where an Ed Psych told off a family for letting their ASD 5yo co-sleep. I agreed with her at the time (I had no kids either) but looking back on it I know she only felt that way because she hadn't yet had the personal experience of parenting a child who wanted to co-sleep.

I really miss morning cuddles in bed with my two (25 and 20!). DS stopped at about 8/9 I think but DD continued until about 15/16!

Never do-slept though.

18yo still likes a cuddle in bed sometimes!

Do you mean every night?

Either way, it is not weird.

DS (12) still comes in for a snuggle when poorly or just in need of a cuddle

Then after 20 mins, he is booted out for farting, wriggling, stealing the duvet or similar

Still, it is sweet....for a bit

5yr old here that regularly sneaks in. I wouldn’t stop him

I stopped our 5 yr old sleeping in our bed because he was just too big and wriggly and no-one was getting enough sleep. We don't have space for a larger bed.
He actually went quite happily to his own bed so lucky for us he must have felt ready.
If everyone is happy and getting a good night's sleep then who cares. They won't do it for ever.
Sounds maybe like your oh is not happy though so something has to change somehow. But telling his family and them all laughing about it is mean.

My eldest is 7 and still comes in for a quick cuddle on a morning. Dh doesn't like them coming in but he doesn't get the deciding vote.

Nope not every night - 2/3 time's a month max.
He also has asd so like when he shows affection :)
Been with dp over 3 years, he has brought ds up. Youngest ds is my partners and he thinks that is weird also -he's 1 and only come in my bed about 3 time's his whole life.

DS (age 6) comes into my bed most nights - he starts off in his own then sneaks in in the night! Stbx DH and I have recently separated so I think it's reassurance for him. I'm not going to stop him as I think he needs it right now, he'll grow out of it. As someone said up thread, he's not going to he doing it when he's 30!

I think it’s mean that he called you weird, but I used to find it uncomfortable sharing a bed with DP when his dd would come and get in bed with us.

Having a child who’s not yours in your bed feels odd for some people (especially as DP would go back to sleep and I would have her cold clammy feet on me and have to listen to her chatting crap when I really wanted to be asleep too!) His dd is 9 now and has only just stopped sharing his bed on a regular basis. It meant I couldn’t really sleep over at his house as it meant kicking his DD out of ‘her’ bed to share with him, so it was annoying. Also sharing a pillow that someone else’s sweaty head has been on, with their drool, yuck! I am very sensitive to smells and would always want a clean bed if someone else had been sleeping in it.

I don’t have my kids in my bed at all, and I know he thought I was the weird one, but to me my bedroom is my sanctuary, not a playground. Snuggles happen on the sofa before bed or in the morning. My sleep is precious and fidgety kids have no place in my bed!

I woke up this morning with ds (13) in bed with me- no idea what time he came in, but he isn't well that's why he can in.
And when ds (18) was doing his GCSE's so he was 16, I had him in with me every night! His brother was annoying him, and he couldn't sleep, so he hopped in with me. I also co-slept with mine until they made the transition to bed at about 2 by themselves.
A few weeks ago I shared a bed with my ex sis in law, and her daughters in the morning, last week a shared with a friend I haven't seen in 20 years!
We are a family and friends of bed hopping lol but none of us care as long as someone has a spot to sleep on. But I also appreciate that many people will find this odd- and that's fine too. Each to their own.

I have a camping bed and sleeping bag at the ready under our bed for if the older kids feel unwell/ have a nightmare in the middle of the night. Ds3, almost 4, just gets into bed with us though.