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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not buy for people who’ve forgotten my son’s birthday yet again

99 replies

Turquoisetamborine · 26/12/2017 09:40

Son’s birthday is today. He wanted money from us so that’s what he got. He got a sad few items, mostly superhero themed which he hasn’t been into for at least six years.

I know Boxing Day is a crap birthday but surely people would realise that and try to make up for it by getting him a card not a fucking joint present with his Christmas present.

I’m actually keeping a note today of who forgets like they do every single year and I’m not getting them anything for their birthday. When they ask why I’ll just say sorry thought we weren’t doing it anymore.

OP posts:
ItsChristmoose · 26/12/2017 09:42

I think that's fair enough. Sorry you feel so let down.

AhhhhThatsBass · 26/12/2017 09:42

Yes that’s exactly what you should do. So YADNBU

Chocolate254 · 26/12/2017 09:43

Yanbu

Pandoraslastchance · 26/12/2017 09:43

Hope you are prepared for people to say that you are being petty.

I agree with you. My youngest has her birthday mid December and the amount of people who forget her is astounding. Every year it's the same. So now I don't bother and I have had messages saying "you didn't wish me a happy birthday"well that's because you are a twat face who is 24 who forgot a 3yo.

coldcanary · 26/12/2017 09:44

YANBU at all. We have 4 family birthdays around Christmas and it really isn’t that hard to include birthday presents when doing the Christmas present shopping!

Pengggwn · 26/12/2017 09:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 26/12/2017 09:45

I always get DNiece a separate birthday card and birthday present, and make sure the birthday card is wrapped up in birthday paper. Joint Christmas and birthday gifts - just unfair.

sparechange · 26/12/2017 09:46

But are they buying a joint Christmas/birthday present or actually forgetting?

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 26/12/2017 09:46

Birthday present . Obviously I don’t wrap the card - sigh.

NataliaOsipova · 26/12/2017 09:46

When they ask why I’ll just say sorry thought we weren’t doing it anymore.

Fair enough. And a good way to make the point without sounding petty, I think.

PaintingByNumbers · 26/12/2017 09:46

Who is forgetting and do your family normally do bday presents for everyone (or is that just you?)
Yanbu but only if you know that other children in the family get presents for their birthdays. Weirdly by mn standards, we only ever got bday presents from grandparents, and its also the same now for mykids/nieces/nephews etc - only bday presents from grandparents, and we only buy for our own kids and gparents

RedL0rryYellowLolly · 26/12/2017 09:47

When you say ‘people’ do you mean family or friends?

I always buy for family kids’ birthdays (nephews nieces etc) but I never buy for my friends’ kids’ birthdays. Boxing Day or not.

And I wouldn’t buy a gift for my child to give to their friends unless they were invited to a party.

Maybe these people don’t realise that you are expecting a gift?

x2boys · 26/12/2017 09:47

Happy birthday to your son op it is also my son's birthday today too hes 11 its crap having a birthday at Xmas .

HariboForBreakfast · 26/12/2017 09:47

Happy Birthday to your ds!

It's shitty to overlook a child's birthday just because it's around Christmas time.

isthismummy · 26/12/2017 09:49

Yanbu.

It's my birthday today. It is an utterly shite day to have a birthday. People forget or just don't get you anything. I'm definitely keeping a list and returning the favour to them this year because I'm sick of it.

I hope your DS manages to have a nice day regardless.

dailyshite · 26/12/2017 09:52

DS's birthday is Christmas Eve, we make such a big deal of it that no one can forget it. Make sure we see most of the family on that day, he's never had a joint present (although I think one person who usually buys for him forgot this year). Do you make a big deal of it? Have you told people how important it is?

LuckyAmy1986 · 26/12/2017 09:53

YAsoNBU

TheLegendOfBeans · 26/12/2017 09:53

I would say it’s just a crap reality of life that if you had a birthday that falls between 23 Dec and pretty much 10 January it gets “lost” in amongst festive build up, Christmas itself, loads of folk being off school/away on hols 27-31 and then everyone being battered after New Year’s Eve.

It doesn’t make it right but I know LOTS of folk that have birthdays this time of year and for years they’ve always had it a bit shit.

Making a list of offenders though is a bit OTT. People tend to detach from normal life around now, I’m sure if you asked most folk on the street what day it was today they’d struggle to say Tuesday. It doesn’t make it right, but it is understandable.

His rubbish superhero gifts won’t count as long as his parents make a big fuss of him. Don’t let your ire show, birthdays should be all about love and presents and cake and getting spoiled, regardless of day x

kaytee87 · 26/12/2017 09:56

Tbh unless my ds is invited to a bday party I wouldn't remember when my friends kids birthdays are. If its family that's a different matter. My nephew has a December birthday and i always make a fuss of him.

Viewofhedges · 26/12/2017 10:27

Could you have a party for him in the summer, and if people ask why you could tell him that everyone tends to forget his actual birthday, so this year he’s getting two!

user1481838270 · 26/12/2017 10:27

Son’s birthday is today. He wanted money from us so that’s what he got.

He got a sad few items, mostly superhero themed which he hasn’t been into for at least six years.

I know Boxing Day is a crap birthday but surely people would realise that and try to make up for it by getting him a card not a fucking joint present with his Christmas present.

Given the following:

a. Your DS seems to be at an age where he prefers money to Christmas presents.

b. You don't like the presents your DS receives.

c. You don't like it when your DS receives a joint present with his Christmas present.

The very obvious solution to curtail the exchange of birthday presents as it leads to a lot of disappointment and resentment on your part.

I'm surprised you felt the need to even start a thread.

ILoveTheEU · 26/12/2017 10:29

are they buying a joint Christmas/birthday present or actually forgetting?

YouTheCat · 26/12/2017 10:31

My kids' birthday is tomorrow. I have never encountered this problem as people have always been really keen to make sure they have a decent birthday, as well as Christmas.

I think if others just couldn't be arsed then I'd not bother with their birthday either and see how they like it. They are usually the ones to shout loudest if they are forgotten.

TroysMammy · 26/12/2017 10:39

My DP who's in his 50's has a birthday on Christmas Eve. He gets birthday presents wrapped up in birthday paper and cards and things on sticks, trifle and cake with candles for tea.

We've only been together 3 years but he said his birthday presents as a child were wrapped up in Christmas paper.

C0untDucku1a · 26/12/2017 10:46

My friend celebrates her dd’s christmas day birthday with a party in june. Obvs the dd gets gifts from those closest to her on her actual birthday. But main party is a half birthday party in summer.

Another friend brings her own christmas even birthday celebrations forward to mid December.

What do you arrange for his birthday?

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