SIL didn't buy present for her three month old niece as 'didn't see the point'

[ginfizzliz]

I kind of get it but I also think it's a bit rubbish as there are loads of things that our baby is getting interested in now and I loved buying gifts for my much adored niece and nephew (not hers she doesn't want children) when they were teeny tiny.

AIBU?

A three month old baby is barely out of the womb. I don't think there's anything wrong with your sister in law not buying him presents. At 3 months both my two children were still pretty much just eating, sleeping and cuddling - sure, they liked looking at stuff but that stuff could just have easily been shadows gently moving on a bedroom wall as a purpose bought toy.

(not buying her presents, sorry)

Can’t imagine not buying something for my baby niece or nephew. Why wouldn’t you want to? My baby nephew got some new clothes and a soft book thing from me. Yeah he doesn’t know the difference but it gives me pleasure to choose something for him.

I wouldn’t think of getting the baby something either. Has she got kids? I didn’t even think of sending people a card or present when they’d given birth! It was only when I had my first baby and was bombarded with gifts and cards that I realised I should’ve been doing the same all along. I would usually rock up to a friend’s house with a bottle of champagne for the Mum if anything. Some people just aren’t that interested in babies. I like them now I have them and always get close friends a card or present if we are going to be seeing them. Don’t take it personally.

Someone who thinks there is no point buying a Christmas present for a 3 year old is missing something very fundamental. The next opportunity to buy for (read: contribute to influencing the shape of a whole human being's growth and nurture) the child will be in 9 months time for their first birthday. There are loads of things that an under 12-month old will love that yes maybe a 3 month old will be a bit young for but will be able to enjoy and learn from soon.

It seems more sad that this event looks like evidence that your sil doesn't get the point of family relationships rather than the mere missed opportunity to receive an item.

You can interact using toys.
I was most grateful that my brother bought a toy for my first baby at Christmas. She was three weeks old and I hadn't been well post birth. Everyone thought oh you must have lots of X y and z but we actually got very few things pre birth (didn't want to tempt fate) and we were given few things.
I hadn't really thought of things like that to buy.

MIL didn’t get a gift for our 3 week old. Our first child. Her first grandchild. His first Christmas. I don’t get it either.

I would buy clothes for a little baby - its a bit stingy (unless you're broke) to skip buying a present for a baby.

TBH I think buying for a 3 month old would’ve buying some tat for the sake of buying...

I am sure Your baby is well kitten out with essentials OP. All a baby u er 12 months needs is household things placed into a basket for him or her to explore.... wooden spoon, spatula, metal whisk, China egg cups, clean sponge, cloths of different textures, wooden figures.... anything that’s not plastic really...

I can’t believe the threads on here today made by ungrateful people tbh!

I’ve still got a little bunny my mum got me for my first Christmas when I was two weeks old. Of course I had no clue in 1976 but 40 odd years later, I think it’s lovely. It reminds me she loved me as a newborn baby.

Logically there’s no point, but sentimentally it’s a nice thing to do (and I’m a soppy sod).

Our kids were 6 months old their first Christmas and we asked everyone for no gifts - everyone being our PILs and SILs. At their second Christmas they were 18 months old and we said just something little to open.

On their birthdays when they were little we asked for books for their birthdays if people wanted suggestions so they both ended up with plenty of nice books which they still enjoy now (we live abroad so having books in English, as well as our local language, is something we cherish).

Ps sorry for typos - but you get the gist

Genuinely confused by all the posts saying wouldn't think to buy for a baby? They are part of the family whether they understand or not. I would never think of leaving a family member out if they were under 1yr old? I wouldn't buy an expensive gift but a small teddy or rattle maybe.
My DD was four months on her first Xmas, I don't remember what I bought her but definitely would not of got her nothing, she was my second child though.

We didn't buy our DS a present last year and be was 10 month. This year he is almost 2 and he only got a gift as I saw it in Lidl reduced whilst doing a shop

Gosh I have just reread the OP. I thought you were annoyed that your SIL didn't buy her own baby a gift, even odder to be annoyed that she didn't buy your baby a gift!

If it was my child I wouldn't be upset as such, but my 7 week old got presents from the whole family.

Has plastic been found to cause children to grow extra heads recently and no one has told me?

The baby won't have a clue wtf Christmas is. So presents would be for the parents benefit really.

Presumably the baby was bought lots of gifts 3 months ago. Better to pace it otherwise you'll end up with hundreds of baby things and not much for later ages.

How many other siblings does she have? Maybe she doesn't want to start buying for Nieves and nephews. It's not compulsory and can really add up, I've been buying gifts for 20 nieces and nephews for 15- 20 years (ish). It's a lot!

“We didn't buy our DS a present last year and be was 10 month. This year he is almost 2 and he only got a gift as I saw it in Lidl reduced whilst doing a shop”

Now that sounds mean!

*Has plastic been found to cause children to grow extra heads recently and no one has told me?

Plastic duplo is fine for older children - great for hand/eye co ordination, creativity and problem solving. Babies need to feel different textures. They don’t need plastic. They will discover that soon enough.... All thru their childhood...

Well you could say What's the point of buying anyone presents? Or anyone who isn't a student or caught in a benefit loop or whatever. The rest of is could buy the stiff we want.
Maybe it's that there are two sorts of people, ones who get pleasure from giving or at least shopping and ones who don't.

as it kind of shows that she's excited rather than nonplussed at having a niece. Because sometimes she seems really not fussed

Maybe she's not bothered about babies. They are pretty boring. Much more interesting when they're a bit older. Not everyone thinks the world revolves around babies. Not everyone things they're cute or adorable.

My baby is four months and everyone bought her a little something. Babies are easy to buy for- a small toy, a book, socks. Some of my closest friends bought her gorgeous gifts and gave me nothing. Apparently that's how it goes now, baby gets all the presents and the parents don't. So YANBU.