FURIOUS! My Mum just let my 3yr Old see her presents & Stocking!

[MotherofaSurvivor]

Staying at my Mums for Christmas. Brought presents the other day as all wrapped. Just finished putting everything in her Stocking in the spare room which was AGREED with my Mum that it was to be 'Present HQ' - For context, the house is a Bungalow, so I witnessed this from the kitchen and hit the roof.

So my 3yr Old follows my Mum around like a shadow as she adores her. Fine by me, gives me a bit of a break before I step in and take over.

So my Mum wanders into Present HQ (with my DD next to her) which has a Sofabed with all the presents on including the big polythene Stocking - FULL of presents!!!! My Mum turns away and starts gagging with something and I can see this in corner of my eye from Kitchen and just as I start to dive towards the room, my daughter exclaims "PRESENTS!!!!!! Stocking!!!!" and is sat looking through the stuff in the Stocking and admiring all her presents (wrapped, but still....) My Mum is stood next to her by time I shoot in and saying "Oooh! Isn't that nice!"

I. HIT. THE. ROOF.

I know that 'she's my daughter and I should've been watching her' but I was prepping veg for tomorrow and my Mum agreed to watch her whilst I did this. The door to the room has a swollen frame and so when shut, really takes quite a push to be opened. We had already spoken about how that would be perfect to hide the presents for this very reason!

AIBU to be not just upset with my Mum but bloody LIVID and feel like Christmas is ruined now? My Mum doesn't seem to see the big deal! I've spent months & Months buying bits towards Christmas as & when I could as I'm Disabled and so money is tight. SO upset

Please be kind (& festive?!) in your responses!

It should provide a sense of perspective to the OP. There are far worse things that could happen.

Of course. That applies to most day to day things that upset us.

But we're still upset. There will always be people worse off than you. But saying that to someone never makes them feel better. Because it's what's happening to them, right now, that is uppermost in their minds.

You are being really unreasonable. I hope you haven't had a go at your poor mum over something like this. If anything will ruin Christmas,it will be your overreaction... I'm shocked to see other comments sympathising to be honest! I thought everyone would think you were being unreasonable.

So in MN Land, no one can evef be upset or bothered by anything anyone else does because people are dying elsewhere

Absolutely! That's the whole point - Christmas becomes such a bonkers time, where people are hyped up into such a daft frenzy that the sensible people of MN are helicoptered with "the grip".

Headline news - kids wont be psychologically damaged by seeing wrapped presents on Christmas Eve. But they will be affected by adults scrapping over trivial things instead of playing nicely.

I used to have to prevent my mum doing this. She is a joy sucker and has a compulsion to spoil things - she'd do exactly this, to upset me as she knew the surprise element mattered to me. & when DCs were young if she ever happened to discover what I'd bought for DCs then she'd drop heavy hints to them behind my back. I started hiding stuff from her - problem solved. We are NC now for varied reasons, thank God.

Too many people expect you to put up with bullshit "but she's your mum!". My family are the children I made, everyone else comes way down the pecking order.

As others have said, your DD is young you can find an explanation. But re being annoyed with your mum YANBU at all.

It won’t ruin Christmas for your daughter, don’t worry - as she gets older you’ll find something happens every year, even if it’s only her noticing Santa buys his wrapping paper in Asda because she saw it when you were shopping!

Relax and have a fab day x

Well I hope your poor mother can forgive you for possibly ruining HER Christmas with your pathetic hysterics.

Personally, I would have shown you the door but kept my GC well away from you.

Your Mother and child deserve far better than this excuse for a Christmas.

Hope that you have seen the error of your ways now and apologised to your mother AND your child.

Oh look a troll who wants to make an OP feel like shit for being upset..."Apologise to your mother and your child!!" The irony of talking about "hysterics"😂

There's always one..even on Christmas morning they lurk. It's probably Krampus

Read the original post with total disbelief.
Some people don't appreciate how fortunate they are.
Presently having a cup of tea - waiting till it's light enough - going to cemetery with flowers for my mum

If course she should apologise! Shouting st her host for going into a room in her own home! Do you understand what trolling is?

Oh look a troll who wants to make an OP feel like shit for being upset..."Apologise to your mother and your child!!" The irony of talking about "hysterics"😂

Nah, that’s tame.

#Peakfroth on this thread was reached with the post at 22:44 last night.

Ignoring the debate and whether or not you are BU because at this stage I don’t think it’s going to add anything to the thread and I largely suspect you may not be coming back; I hope you’ve managed to get back on track and you and your mum had the joy of seeing DD open her gifts this morning. It really is a magical time.
Have a fantastic Christmas all, whatever you’re doing

Happy Christmas MotherofaSurvivor.

Being a single parent and having anxiety/OCD can't be easy. I had PND and it lasted a long time but eventually it faded.

Hope you're having a lovely morning with your daughter.

The reason in real life people don't tell people like OP to chill out is because we are too polite to say what we are thinking, but seriously chill out and apologise to your mom before you ruin Christmas.

OP has had a difficult time and needs to feel that she has some control in her life now. She doesn't need stupid undermining by Grandma
I think it’s probably likely that this “rule” is one of many, given how much drama there is about it. Maybe Grandma forgot this rule, maybe she didn’t realise the girl was in the room, maybe she thought her mum was keeping an eye on her. Grandma very probably didn’t do it on purpose.

It was a mistake, so easily glossed over but apparently because of a bunch of drip fed issues and a disability, acting like a reasonable person and just getting on with it is totally impossible.

The OP has had a really stressful year - stress levels are high.
Being disabled gives you constant worry about money, perhaps even more so with exP off the scene. The actual getting the presents is much more effort than just ‘popping to the shops on the way home’.
The OP is worried for her DC having a nice Christmas despite a shit year.
All this has made her tense - her DM doing what she did was just what the OP didn’t need at the time.
Cut her some bloody slack, some of you - being so righteous

@greyponcho, it wasnt intentional though was it? Being disabled does not excuse you from being a knob.

I guess you've managed to get over yourself and apologise for your horrible behaviour by now, OP?

whatwot I dunno what's your excuse?!

Christmas cheer people. Christmas cheer

No big deal. The whole Father Christmas thing is easily sorted - she’s 3 ffs.

I might sound harsh but I just can't stand drama llama especially Op throwing the word bully around.

Christmas is not ruined. My dearest friend is sitting with her husband in a hospice today...he has possibly only a few days left. Want to swap with her?

The reason in real life people don't tell people like OP to chill out is because we are too polite to say what we are thinking, but seriously chill out and apologise to your mom before you ruin Christmas.

This is exactly right.

being disabled does not excuse you for being a knob true, it does not, but the OP has been highly stressed and reacted in a way that stressed people do!
I’m not saying she was right, but I can understand her initial reaction: she’s only human.
Some posters are just being knobs because they can be.
Hope she calmed down and is having a nice day with DM and DD.

OOOh I am peak frother!! Makes me think of whisking egg whites for meringue

Most of posters has been saying it's no big deal and just chill out. disabled or not, OP's reaction is still OTT and unnecessary.