FURIOUS! My Mum just let my 3yr Old see her presents & Stocking!

[MotherofaSurvivor]

Staying at my Mums for Christmas. Brought presents the other day as all wrapped. Just finished putting everything in her Stocking in the spare room which was AGREED with my Mum that it was to be 'Present HQ' - For context, the house is a Bungalow, so I witnessed this from the kitchen and hit the roof.

So my 3yr Old follows my Mum around like a shadow as she adores her. Fine by me, gives me a bit of a break before I step in and take over.

So my Mum wanders into Present HQ (with my DD next to her) which has a Sofabed with all the presents on including the big polythene Stocking - FULL of presents!!!! My Mum turns away and starts gagging with something and I can see this in corner of my eye from Kitchen and just as I start to dive towards the room, my daughter exclaims "PRESENTS!!!!!! Stocking!!!!" and is sat looking through the stuff in the Stocking and admiring all her presents (wrapped, but still....) My Mum is stood next to her by time I shoot in and saying "Oooh! Isn't that nice!"

I. HIT. THE. ROOF.

I know that 'she's my daughter and I should've been watching her' but I was prepping veg for tomorrow and my Mum agreed to watch her whilst I did this. The door to the room has a swollen frame and so when shut, really takes quite a push to be opened. We had already spoken about how that would be perfect to hide the presents for this very reason!

AIBU to be not just upset with my Mum but bloody LIVID and feel like Christmas is ruined now? My Mum doesn't seem to see the big deal! I've spent months & Months buying bits towards Christmas as & when I could as I'm Disabled and so money is tight. SO upset

Please be kind (& festive?!) in your responses!

Raisinshoes
Nobody is denying the Mum ballsed up.

What people are saying is yes she messed up, however you don't lose your shit with someone and decide Christmas has been ruined because a 3 year old saw some presents. It's a totally out if proportion response.

Op, your daughter will still have a lovely Christmas.

Maybe Santa came early because she was such a good girl or something? She’s 3, they’re rather gullible at that age.

But I understand why you were this upset, yes. You have talked about it, your DM was watching her and probably also knows about your MH issues... this was absolutely avoidable.

But now that you’ve hopefully calmed down. Calmly explain to your DM why you were this upset, both of you might choose to apologise and you’re all free to enjoy Christmas.

Everything will still be perfect and magical for you DD.

I think it was Crumbs last sentence that boiled my piss. OP is clearly stressed out and upset, I don’t think we need to be having a pop and making wanky statements about love and joy, whilst being passive aggressive.

Btw, the OP has stated that she’s stressed and has MH issues. Yes, her reaction might seem a bit extreme to most of us.

But her DM did fuck up when the OP was probably already rather stressed... which makes her reaction unfortunate but also understandable. I really don’t think that we should be having a go at her (or claim that she misunderstood the spirit of Christmas).

How rude you are Op, you owe your DM a massive apology

.Your mum is hosting you for Christmas , if she wants to pop into a room in her own bloody house to get something then I think sh is entitled to do so.It's your job to watch your DC not your mum's
you are a shit guest and a shit daughter

Massive overreaction IMO. Your Christmas definitely hasn't been ruined, as your DD will probably have been forgotten about what she's seen in the morning and it will be easy to explain away if need be. She's only 3 after all! You should apologise to your mum and then enjoy Christmas.

Get over yourself, ridiculous over reaction and PFB nonsense. Switch on the news, see what going on in the WORLD; and chill out over such complete non issues ...

God you people are mean. Her mum fucked up, she overreacted.

Op, little one will be fine. Regroup, be kind to yourself, enjoy the day with your mum & dd.

Given the livid reaction over purely seeing a few wrapped gifts, how will you handle it when your DD is older and goes hunting or peeking as many children do? Or does any number of things children tend to get up to as they grow up?

There's some really fucking bitchy responses on here.

All those saying OP should get a grip or "smart" variation thereof are you really so lacking in imagination that you can't think why OP might be upset?!

And if you can't, when the OP is distressed and specifically asks people to be kind does it give you a kick to stick the boot in?!

I have no idea what's up with this place at the moment but this thread is depressing

You need a Baileys and then you need to apologise to your mother.

Why not post on Netmums? You'll get plenty of 'aw hun, your LO, your rulez' responses.

Her mum messed up, the OP overreacted. I think most of us do see it that way...

But some of these responses really are unnecessarily nasty imo.

Haven’t you ever overreacted when you were stressed? Felt like a loved one didn’t care about your wishes and plans?

Cantuccit

What are you getting from posting in such an unpleasant manner?! Is it making you feel Christmassy

I don't think the OP is coming back now. Not surprising considering the vitriolic responses to her post, but then what did she expect???

It's giving her a rest from sneaking into people's houses and shitting in their stockings, Willow.

My friend just had a baby and her mum suddenly and unexpectedly died a few days ago, just before their first Christmas.
Have some perspective.

OP, go and give your mum a big hug, she meant no harm. My mum passed away last month and I am sure, like you, there were times I really overeacted and blamed her for things unfairly. Your little one will have a wonderful Christmas and like everyone else says the only thing that could spoil it for her is the unpleasant atmosphere between two people she so loves. Happy Christmas xx ps I am sure all of my children saw presents and stockings before they were supposed to, and I promise their Christmas was never ruined.

When everything is piled under the tree, the presents will look completely different to how they looked on the sofa in the spare room. A three year old won't realise they are the same things.

I don’t think we need to be having a pop and making wanky statements about love and joy, whilst being passive aggressive

^This.

Surprised Crumbs could find time with her megabusy schedule of carols in the square after sups before marching together to midnight mass at one of the few churches that actually does it at midnight these days.

Ostensibly in the midst of all that outward Christianity and so little permeating that post.

OP A three year old will forget seeing the things, and as others have suggested - FC does leave things early sometimes when the sleigh is particularly loaded or for extra good children.

Its hard when you are struggling and have worked hard to make a special occasion to see it casually ruined. But really it won't be ruined, it probably was a stupid oversight and it may be your DM did not take it so seriously because she knows a 3 yr old won't lose that magic as a result of it. Try not to dwell on it, it will work out.

My friend just had a baby and her mum suddenly and unexpectedly died a few days ago, just before their first Christmas.
Have some perspective.

That's absolutely tragic and I feel very sorry for your friend.

It doesn't, however, have anything to do with someone who doesn't know her.

1st world problems?

NannyOgg

It should provide a sense of perspective to the OP

There are far worse things that could happen.

Okay ! Santa has to get to so many kids that he must’ve dropped yours off early and asked you to set them out when she’s asleep to save him some time ... think on your feet man , also she’s 3 she won’t remember.

I'd have been absolutely furious too. You aren't overreacting op.

Just because others have serious problems doesn't mean the op can't be upset that her carefully laid out plans have been spoiled.

Fortunately she is only three, not older. As others have said, you can spin this with three comments suggested. She'll still be excited when she gets them tomorrow.