FURIOUS! My Mum just let my 3yr Old see her presents & Stocking!

[MotherofaSurvivor]

Staying at my Mums for Christmas. Brought presents the other day as all wrapped. Just finished putting everything in her Stocking in the spare room which was AGREED with my Mum that it was to be 'Present HQ' - For context, the house is a Bungalow, so I witnessed this from the kitchen and hit the roof.

So my 3yr Old follows my Mum around like a shadow as she adores her. Fine by me, gives me a bit of a break before I step in and take over.

So my Mum wanders into Present HQ (with my DD next to her) which has a Sofabed with all the presents on including the big polythene Stocking - FULL of presents!!!! My Mum turns away and starts gagging with something and I can see this in corner of my eye from Kitchen and just as I start to dive towards the room, my daughter exclaims "PRESENTS!!!!!! Stocking!!!!" and is sat looking through the stuff in the Stocking and admiring all her presents (wrapped, but still....) My Mum is stood next to her by time I shoot in and saying "Oooh! Isn't that nice!"

I. HIT. THE. ROOF.

I know that 'she's my daughter and I should've been watching her' but I was prepping veg for tomorrow and my Mum agreed to watch her whilst I did this. The door to the room has a swollen frame and so when shut, really takes quite a push to be opened. We had already spoken about how that would be perfect to hide the presents for this very reason!

AIBU to be not just upset with my Mum but bloody LIVID and feel like Christmas is ruined now? My Mum doesn't seem to see the big deal! I've spent months & Months buying bits towards Christmas as & when I could as I'm Disabled and so money is tight. SO upset

Please be kind (& festive?!) in your responses!

Vivienne it was avoidable though. The door was jammed and couldn’t have been opened by a child. Grandma fucked up good and proper, and should have realised and deflected before the child had a chance to rummage.

I’m not excusing the reaction from the OP, but then I’m not living with her anxiety and issues so I’m being a little more pleasant to her than some others are.

Basecamp21 If she does, it will unfortunately be because of the huge upset and her mother's behaviour towards her grandmother at what should be a happy family time.

I feel sorry for your mum too. She didn't have to host you and now she's been shouted at as a child got a glimpse of presents. Really OTT.

At three she won't know any different than what you tell her and won't even remember this Christmas as she grows up.

I'd apologise to your mum before you do really spoil Christmas.

You lost me at "Present HQ", sorry
Maybe try and keep a bit of perspective.

It's not an over reaction though is it?

Her mum did something she'd been asked specifically not to do and went against the OP wishes.

I bet if she typed MIL the claws would be out or if this was about giving chocolate when asked not to the response would be different.

You know that been here for over 10 years and disgusted.

Any other night of the year perhaps but not tonight.

Give a thought to the babies who died in Manchester and be grateful you have a dd

You really need to calm down. A 3 year old saw wrapped presents, doesn't even know what's in them. You can blag it instead of hitting the roof.

And Pixie was not being a bully.

Maybe Santa Claus will bring you a grip in your stocking. This should've resulted in eye rolling and theatrical whispers and high fives that you managed to smooth it over. Don't let it spoil Christmas 🤶

If your Christnas is ruined it'll be through your actions, not your mum's. Go and apologise to her!

My DS once woke up to find FC in his room but the next day said that he had a weird dream as he saw FC come in his room and he was wearing Mummy's dressing gown

Chill, it'll be OK.

I get you Mother. It's the frustration of having put so much time, thought and effort into something, only to have it jeopardised by a moment's thoughtlessness. Hope you and your mum patch things up, and ignore the festive MN pile-on.

Relax, pour yourself a glass of something, and apologise to your mum for hitting the roof. As others have said, your child will believe anything you tell her and Christmas really hasn't been ruined. It's a stressful time of year but the mistake of a moment isn't worth getting so upset about.

It's unfortunate but really not the massive thing you're making it into. It's not worth ruining your Christmas over.

youatenotkiddibgme op doesn't get to call the shots.... it's not her home it's her mother's!

Shouting at her? Telling her xmas is ruined?

I can’t have been that hard for her to go into that room while you peeled the veg. I would have been fuming. Can you rewrap them?

She is 3 she won t put it together at this age. If she was 8 I'd understand.

Chill out. Forget it.

I've got a 3 year old and a 5 year old. 3 year olds hardly know what's going on, I agree that santa just dropped it all off early.

Grandma fucked up good and proper, and should have realised and deflected before the child had a chance to rummage.

That's what's annoying - that grandma did exactly what she was asked not to, and didn't have the sense to sort out the situation herself.

OP has had a difficult time and needs to feel that she has some control in her life now. She doesn't need stupid undermining by Grandma.

That said, OP, your DD likely won't connect the two things when she gets her presents.
Or if she does, just say those are presents grandma's giving to her friends.

I would be upset about this too. I want to feel that me and my mum are on the same team, and that she is able to take care of the toddler while I am doing chores, and also wants Christmas to be magical for my child.

And then I would calm down, realise it shouldn't be made into that big a deal, and have a cuddle with my mum, because she's still my mum. And then discuss how in 20 years time it'll be my daughter getting upset at me for having forgotten how to do a "proper" Christmas with a small child.

For all those saying DD won't remember. Well she might.

My DD is same age and bloody would remember. I've already had to rewrap our stocking presents so the paper matched that we saw at the grotto last week as she spotted another Santa at nursery did not have the same paper and had a false beard.

Go with Santa dropped them off early and hopefully she will accept it. Next time presents in a locked suitcase and don't trust your mum. Please be kind to her. She was thoughtless and annoying but it wasn't intentional.

Not going to lie, I don’t get it.

3 year olds couldn’t give a shiny shite and will believe pretty much anything you tell them where Christmas is concerned. It’s when they’re older it all gets problematic.

Your Mum was an idiot but it was hardly crime of the century. The presents were wrapped, DD saw nothing. Wait until she’s older and ‘accidently’ finds them unwrapped and weeks too early! The only person that’s going to ruin Christmas is you with the way you’re carrying on.

And please don’t just stick a massive drip feed of anxiety issues etc when it’s apparent people don’t agree with you. That’s not on.

I can understand you being annoyed but it's not the end of the world. Toddlers aren't the most logical people and I doubt she'll come to the conclusion that the presents being there mean Santa isn't real. She'll still be as excited to receive then tomorrow.

The only thing that will ruin your Christmas is not slapping a smile on and saying nevermind. I doubt your mum purposely set out to ruin Christmas for you so just forget it and move on - no one wants an atmosphere what's supposed to be a fun day.

If the OP wanted to control every aspect she could have stayed at home rather than accept others hospitality.

It's not an over reaction though is it?

It's such a huge overreaction that it's laughable.

It will be fine OP. My eldest is 3, I am on my own most of the time, she was with me when I bought most of their presents as I had nobody to watch them. She's ridiculously excited tonight, totally swept up in it all. It will be fine. Go hug your mum and have a drink.

She's three. She probably won't put two and two together. Don't worry.