Aibu to be upset with husband over forgotten gift

[MamaBearto2]

First time posting, so please be gentle with me.

My "DH" who I have been with for almost 10 years has completely forgotten/ ignored my Christmas gift request. In the whole time we have been together, I have never known what I wanted for Christmas or my early January birthday.

This year, I saw a specific bracelet I wanted back in late October. I started the Facebook tagging with "I want this" several times a week since, been in the store with him a few times in the lead up to Christmas to look at it and window shopped every time we have walked past the store.

Today, he went to do Christmas shopping as he has been working incredibly hard the last few weeks and today is his only chance. I asked him if he had been in this specific store for my bracelet and his face dropped.. he had "forgotten" and thought I had just said I liked it, not that I wanted it. I'm gutted and had a little melt down about it after him saying he will go it.

Aibu to be upset about this and not want some second thought gift?

We have had a rough year but have worked hard on our relationship so I feel this is a slap in the face and that my feelings don't count yet again.

God I sound so grabby but I'm really not. I never ask for anything and always put alot of thought/ effort into his gifts.

Chances are he hasn't forgotten at all. Cut him some slack in case it materialises in the morning. If no bracelet is forthcoming, you are then entitled to go balistic.

Why not wait and see what happens tomorrow.

If someone pestered as much as it sounds like you have I would have been tempted to “forget” tbh!

I had a similar melt down this week when DH said he “didn’t know what to get me”...

We’ve been together almost 20 years so what hurt was that he couldn’t be arsed to put some thought into buying me something he thought I’d like. Only needs to be a few pounds but it’s the effort that mattered. My favourite chocolates or something small that showed he thought of me without being under pressure to do so.

Still pissed off so hoping tomorrow brings some act to show he thought of me.

Perhaps your hubby is faking it? To throw you off the scent if he’s already bought it?

Are you certain he didn't actually buy it and was acting pretending he hadn't so you felt a bit disappointed then would open it tomorrow and actually be a little surprised?
IF, and it is only an if, he did that, then you had a melt down, i can see him being stuck between a rock and a hard place, either admit he has bought it and you get angry/upset, or say he'll go and get it now, even though he already has it, and you react as you have in the op that hes ignorant, thoughtless etc.

I just read DP your thread. His response was 'nah, he's got her the bracelet'. Fingers xed for tomorrow.

If you birthday is in Jan, have it as a b’day present

From the other POV I would forget it as well. If my DH had gone on and on about something it would just wear me down to the point of feeling like it was an order.

gutted

meltdown

slap in the face

Unless there is a massive drip feed, YABU

I’ve told DH I haven’t got the thing he asked for as it was too expensive and impractical. I want him to be surprised in the morning not knowing exactly what he is about to open!

It’s not Pandora is it? There might have been a massive queue. Either that or he realised how overpriced it is.

I understand you must be disappointed but the language you use about it seems a bit dramatic. Hope you get the bracelet though!

YABU, unless I’m missing something. Our worth to a person is not measured in gifts or time spent picking them. And if my husband had been basically nagging or hinting about something for weeks on end I’d forget as well.

I had the EXACT same scenario a couple of years ago OP and it turns out he had bought the item and was just bluffing. My reaction totally ruined it

Wow. I remember when a gift was gifted, not a demand.

Facebook tagging several times a week, really?

You sound like hard work. It’s a gift, not a demand.

Yanbu. Been there done that! It works better all round if I just use his card and order anything I really want. It's not the same, but it beats being disappointed every year.

Yes YABU, he has got you a gift he chose. Regardless of whether you wanted the bracelet that is more meaningful than shopping just for your demands.

a melt down over a xma present?

the threads on this lately astouund me-just tell him its not a quiz

I'm afraid you sound quite hard work, and if I wanted something so badly I tagged it several times a week I'd have saved up and bought it myself.

This place confuses me at times. If someone posts saying that a dp got them a crap gift or no gift they're told that they should let the do know exactly what they want or it's their own fault.
Op has done just that and is getting grief

I just buy stuff I really really want myself.

Yes, I don't get why it is bothering you so much. I would much rather a cheap surprise that someone has thought of themselves than an expensive gift I have had to tell them to get for me.
If I care that much about something I will get it myself

My dh suggested we have a family lunch at what was basically a greasy spoon on my 40th birthday. I felt pretty neglected.

Turned out he wanted us to go to a particular part of town at a particular time as it was near to a jeweller he had commissioned to design a bespoke pendant for me, with a shape that was special to me, and a sapphire in for each of our children.

Don’t judge until the present-opening