Aibu to be upset with husband over forgotten gift

[MamaBearto2]

First time posting, so please be gentle with me.

My "DH" who I have been with for almost 10 years has completely forgotten/ ignored my Christmas gift request. In the whole time we have been together, I have never known what I wanted for Christmas or my early January birthday.

This year, I saw a specific bracelet I wanted back in late October. I started the Facebook tagging with "I want this" several times a week since, been in the store with him a few times in the lead up to Christmas to look at it and window shopped every time we have walked past the store.

Today, he went to do Christmas shopping as he has been working incredibly hard the last few weeks and today is his only chance. I asked him if he had been in this specific store for my bracelet and his face dropped.. he had "forgotten" and thought I had just said I liked it, not that I wanted it. I'm gutted and had a little melt down about it after him saying he will go it.

Aibu to be upset about this and not want some second thought gift?

We have had a rough year but have worked hard on our relationship so I feel this is a slap in the face and that my feelings don't count yet again.

God I sound so grabby but I'm really not. I never ask for anything and always put alot of thought/ effort into his gifts.

I don't have much to add op. Just how sorry I am to hear you've been through all this.

I would find it hard to move on from this. Do you have access to any sort of counselling or way of talking through

Hope you can somehow enjoy today

Oh god, I'm sorry op and that's awful. I think we can all understand why you wanted it now and why you were so insistent and had a melt down and for him to buy himself the ring is so selfish. 😔💐

That's the problem with drip feeding, it changes everything.
I've gone from goodness get over yourself to actually I don't know if your relationship can come back from that level of selfishness.

I'm sorry for your terrible loss OP.

But one person's 'drip feeding' is another person's 'do I have to start every post explaining every detail of my life just so that people don't accuse me of drip feeding?'.

I am so very sorry for your loss OP. I hope that you can have a conversation with your DH and try and put this to bed.

I'm so sorry, OP. It's as if he's looked at what you wanted and actually got the idea of buying a ring from that. Absolutely awful behaviour.

Christine, I am truely sorry you've also lost your husband, but our pain at losing our darling husbands does not give us a superiority over other people's distress/upset.

Sorry for the late reply, we have a family rule for dinner no phones.

I will speak to him tonight once everyone leaves. I had actually bought him a necklace pendant for Christmas with our DDs ashes in that rests over his heart. I couldn't even give it to him, I just left it under the tree. I haven't been able to bring myself to see if there any left for myself yet.

As for drip feeding, I'm new the site, I needed to vent my upset and anger, not splash my life story over the web. This is has an incredibly tough year, there is more to it but it would be very outing to who we are if someone who knew us read it.

I hope everyone has enjoyed their day.

Wishing you all the best MamaBear for a better 2018

I'm so sorry OP. Hoping today gets better for you 💐

That is beyond cruel.....so sorry OP.

I do hope you have some ashes left for you to get the bracelet yourself

That doesn't sound very nice OP - I hope DH pulls it out of the bag in the end!

Some posters are being a bit mean I find that happens a lot on AIBU

Sorry OP. He doesn't sound very nice or thoughtful. Very cruel.

I'm so sorry for your loss OP, and I know your husband is grieving too, but what he's done is so cruel.

I hope 2018 is kinder to you.

So sorry OP

I hope he's got a bloody good reason why he thought it would be ok.

OP, I'm so sorry. You've had such a tough time.

You've had a horrible year OP, and I'm sorry for your terrible loss, but, if you post again, you have to remember that people can only respond to the information you give to us all.
We understand that you need privacy and don't want to tell the internet everything, but if you come on here looking for sympathy, then all the relevant information is crucial.

Putting I started the Facebook tagging with "I want this" several times a week since, really makes you sound a bit weird, and all the "gutted" and "meltdown" language makes you sound very OTT, until you put in the information about the ashes. You must see that completely changes the way people would respond to you?

I would be upset too. I think the fact he has got himself what you asked him for shows that he is only thinking of himself.

You say that this year has nearly broken your relationship. This could be the final nail in the coffin.

Nice choice of words at the end there Groovee

Some posters are being a bit mean  I find that happens a lot on AIBU

Some posters didn't have all the information when they posted.

Christ, now you all are telling the OP off for not wanting to tell the internet all the reasons why this gift was so bloody special to her?? She already made very clear this gift was hugely important to her. To those of you now posting with stuff bordering on "it's all your fault you didn't get sympathy because you didn't bear your soul to us" ... how's about you just rethink your first response. Plenty of PPs said OP was NBU to be upset with her DH even without any additional info, seriously, you want to make OP's life worse right now? Sheesh.

Not really pasta, I think it's unfair to slate posters who commented without all the information. It doesn't actually change my opinion, I still think the OP was way over the top in her asking method, however I may have delivered my reply in a softer manner with all the facts.

I wish I could say something helpful but I have nothing to add to what others have said already. It is such a big loss. I can now see how loss of a child can break families too. I hope you find a way to work on this and the result is positive for you.

im sorry he fucked up. I would be devastated too

It really doesnt matter what the reason for wanting the bracelet was. The only thing that matters is that once in 10 years op told her oh what she wanted and he didnt bother.

But apparently thats being ott and grabby. Bet op has spent 10 years getting him nice presents but as he is male its ok for him to screw up when told exactly what to get.

Double standatds on here are really depressing.